


Mass Effect; Cracks In The Glass.

by Lady_Fenikkusu



Series: Marie Jane Shepard [3]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Gen, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:46:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 57,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11371938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Fenikkusu/pseuds/Lady_Fenikkusu
Summary: We follow Marie Jane Shepard as she rebuilds her crew, struggling with nightmares, ghosts she hoped to keep buried forever and sometimes  with no Fang, Runt is harder and harder to keep locked away inside.





	1. Chapter 1.  A Flower in a Garden.

**Author's Note:**

> Can Marie keep her sanity and somehow manage to keep it together? Or has cheating death a second time left her with more mental issues that she is willing to admit?

Chapter 1.   
A Flower in a Garden. 

Damn it all, why did it have to all go so horridly wrong?! 

~“Mayday! Mayday! This is the SSV Normandy! Mayday! We have suffered heavy damage from an unknown enemy!”~ 

She’d ordered everyone off the ship and then gone to get Joker as he refused to leave the Normandy to her fate without at least trying to get a signal through for help. “Come on baby, hold together! Hold together!” Joker pleaded as he tried to get the mayday out. 

“Get your ass up Joker!” She said, heaving the pilot up and letting him lean on her as they moved. 

“I can still save her!” Joker pleaded still clinging to the controls. “I can still-” 

“She’s gone Joker, going down with her won’t change it!” She shouted over the explosions around them, “Come on!” she pleaded pulling Joker away and to the last escape pod as the attacking ship hit them again. 

“Watch the arm!” Joker groaned as she walked with him letting him lean on her now that his crutches were gone. 

“We don’t have time Joker! I promise I’ll kiss it better when we are safe!” She said shielding him as they walked by the burning fires to the escape pods, “Get in there-Argh!!!!” 

“Commander!” Joker cried as she was tossed away from him by the force of the blast. He reached out trying to grab her but she was beyond his reach now. “Marie!!” 

“Fuck…” She hissed clinging to the panelling for life as she saw the beam coming closer, she looked at Joker and made her choice. “Stay alive Jok-” 

*KA-BO-BOOM* 

 

“Stop right there!” one ordered, but before she could speak she heard a familiar voice. 

“Prazza! You said you’d let me handle this!” 

“Tali?” She asked waving Jacob and Miranda to lower their weapons. 

“Shepard?” Tali asked turning from her fellow Quarians to see the woman behind her. 

“You’ll pardon us for not taking you at your word, Cerberus.” Prazza snarled. 

“I am NOT part of Cerberus.” She growled at him. 

“One of our people was here on Pilgrimage. His name is Veetor. We came to find him.” Tali told her then it all changed again, the sound of gunfire and the smell of death clung to the air. “Shepard?! Shepard Veetor has reprogramed a Heavy mech! It’s tearing us apart!” Tali screamed into her comm. 

~“Open the door!”~ Jacob answered, ~“Hurry, that’s a YMIR mech, they have heavy armour plating you can’t fight something like that in your Suits!”~ 

~“Tali?! Tali answer me!!”~ She called over the comms, ~“Tali!!”~ 

 

~ “Archangel!” ~ Tarak snarled from his ship. ~ “You think you can screw with the Blue Suns!?” ~ He demanded as a rocket shattered glass and struck Garrus as he tried to reach cover. 

 

“NO!!!!” Marie Jane Shepard shot up screaming as her body shook violently, dripping in sweat and tears running down her face, panting she searched the room, frantically trying to see the Turian she’d just seen go down in front of her. 

“Shit.” She hissed clutching her chest to try and alleviate the tightness there. “Fuck…” she shivered realizing what she had seen was in fact just a vivid and terrible dream. “Just dream, just a dream…” 

“Commander? Are you in need of any assistance?” A voice asked and she sighed falling back into the pillows of the bed. 

“No EDI.” She panted, “I’m… I’ll be fine.” She added, “Just… turn the light to twenty five percent power and tell Chakwas I’m awake.” She instructed. 

“Understood Commander.” EDI said and after a moment to complete to tasks she had been given, she asked. “Do you wish Chakwas to bring you anything?” 

“No, that’s all. Thank you, EDI.” Shepard sighed and pulled herself out of bed, rubbing her legs from the knees down to the tops of her feet a few times before trying to stand up, feeling sore, stiff and achy from lack of sleep and a whole host of other things she had been struggling to heal from since they left Omega. 

Garrus was ok she reminded herself, sleeping in the crew bunks a few doors down from the medical bay where she was now and Tali was alive somewhere out there along with Liara, Wrex and hopefully Ashely. She sighed softly and managed to take a few shaky steps before her legs gave out and she fell against the next bed, wincing at the sharp pains that raced up her legs and seemed to focus on her left side. 

“Shit.” She hissed the door to the room opened and Shepard smiled as caring, firm and powerful arms helped her to the shower room and a cool spray of water rained down on her. “Thank you, Chakwas.” 

Doctor Chakwas smiled kindly, gently using a wash cloth to dap at her bleeding left side and other small injuries that she had reopened from her movements during the nightmare. “Nihlus is on his way with hot coco and clean sheets, Joker is still on course and we’ll be at the Citadel shortly.” 

Shepard nodded, taking a moment to let the past events replay in her mind. 

Cerberus had spent two years rebuilding and reviving her from nothing, bringing her back from the brink of death only to thrust her into a battle she didn’t want to fight, she’d looked into missing colonists on Freedom’s Promise, found and helped Tali there and then gone to Omega searching out the Salarian professor Mordin Solus to try and find a way to cure the paralyzing sting the Swarms used to capture the Colonists. 

She found Garrus next, having gone to find out more about the Mercenary Archangel and needing all the help she could get, she’d gone to the warehouse district and found that Archangel was Garrus and saved his life after he’d taken a rocket to the face during the fight to get him out of danger. 

During the rush to get back to the Normandy to save Garrus’s life they had been chased by the Blue Suns and with Garrus bleeding out, Shepard had become frantic and sent Mordin and Jacob on ahead, staying behind and thrown all caution to the wind, drawing on all those years she’d spent on the streets, anything she got her hands on that was sharp, she used, if it had bullets she fired it. 

When the Blue Suns stopped coming at her, she had discovered that she was badly hurt but she hadn’t hung around, she’d struggled to get back to the Normandy only to have help from one of the chosen crew mates that Cerberus had sent her a Dossier on. 

Zaeed Massani. A bounty hunter even the Wolf pack had admired for a long time, it seemed he had seen the fuss and after watching her single handily put the Blue Suns in their places, he agreed to help her get back to the Normandy and join her fight against the Collectors in return for her help taking down an old enemy of his. 

After reaching the Normandy, Chakwas had pulled her into the med-bay and done a quick patch up job, then told her that they needed to restock all their medical supplies and Omega was not the place to do that. 

Struggling for answers and worried for Garrus, it had been a relief when she’d gotten an e-mail from Anderson, asking her to return to the Citadel to explain what was happening and she had agreed to come back, only if her crew mates no matter their alliances, were allowed to visit also. 

It had been allowed, but only if they didn’t bring weapons with them to the Presidium. 

“Shepard?” Chakwas asked. 

Shepard nodded. “I’ll go to Anderson first.” She said, “The rest…” She sighed, “I’ll figure it out as I go.” 

"We will figure it out Marie, you aren't doing this alone any more." Chakwas assured, helping her dry off and settle on a new bed while Nihlus placed a cup of coco beside her and then set about changing the blood stained bedding on her old bed. 

~~~@~~~ 

Seeing the ship dock had all of them on edge, C-Sec officers who remembered her were there, she could see them all in amongst the people gathered and waiting for her to arrive with cameras and recording devices. 

She pulled her jacket hood up and with a nod, the doors opened and Miranda, Jacob, Joker and Chakwas were the first ones out giving her and Garrus the moments head start they needed to get past the crowd of reporters and to the security checkpoint, just as the news crews realized she wasn’t with the Cerberus people or her doctor. 

Garrus must have pulled some strings or called ahead before they got here, as Shepard was let through the check points without anyone stopping her and into a waiting sky-cab with Garrus, just as Chakwas and Joker caught up and slipped in side with them. The ride to the Presidium was quiet, safe Chakwas’s soft humming as she checked Shepard’s wrists and hands. 

Reaching the bright and apparently improved Presidium, Shepard sighed and let Chakwas help her out of the sky car as her legs refused to hold her weight up for a moment and slowly, with Garrus at her six, they headed for Anderson’s office. 

Just as they reached the door, Shepard paused and forced herself to stand up straight and tall, squaring her shoulders as the doors opened. 

“Shepard will be here any-” 

“You’ve gotten rusty in old age, Anderson.” She told him as she stepped inside the office, taking small comfort in his slight jump at her words and the fact two of the three Councillors went very stiff all of a sudden. “I got here twenty minutes ago,” She explained offering the Human Councillor her hand. 

“It’s good to have you back Shepard,” he said taking her hand and shook it gently, seeing the pain in her eyes from just that contact. 

~“We’ve heard many rumours surrounding your unexpected return.”~ The Salarian Councillor began, always to the point and prompt, but there was a trace of uncertainty in his voice. ~“Some of them are. Well, rather-”~ 

“Unsettling? Sickening to the stomach? Too outrageous to be true? Too much like a nightmare for the three of you since with me dead you could sweep all my work and words about the Reapers under the rug and forget that the threat was real?” Shepard asked turning her hardened gaze to the three holo images. “My crew split up and sent to places they couldn’t bring up trouble for you all, my name removed from the Spector wall outside, the truth about Saren and the Reapers twisted and retold so no one knew the truth?” 

~“Shepard, we called this meeting to allow you to explain yourself, we owe you that much.”~ The Asari Councillor tried to remain calm. 

“You owe me? No Councillor Tevos you owe humanity and ignoring that human colonists have been going missing, be they here in Council Space or in the Terminus Systems after all the lives that were lost saving your asses, shouldn’t make a damn difference.” She hissed angrily at the Asari. 

“Shepard.” Anderson tried to say, hoping to calm the woman before him before she began shouting at the other Councillors. 

“And as for explaining myself. Did any of you bother to read the reports and files I know Doctor Chakwas sent you?” She went on, unzipping her jacket and removing it to show the still bandaged and bruised skin, the raw areas that covered the injection and wire marks on her arms and shoulders, the bandages around her neck were removed with a wince as she showed them the bruises and cuts there. 

~“The reports were not fully trusted. Shepard, We had no real proof other than the word of the Doctor that you were alive until recently.”~ Councillor Valern began, pausing to consider his next words carefully as he looked her over and over the reports. ~“You have been in this state since you woke up?”~ 

“Do I look like I was enjoying myself on some sunny beach for two years to you?!” She snapped and Anderson took a step back, knowing he was not going to be able to stop her as she ripped the surgical tape and bandage away from the right side of her face to show the scars there, the skin was raw and her right eye blood shot and swollen. “I was DEAD! No life signs. No hope of coming back. And somehow, my body ends up on some god forsaken lab table with wires, tubes and needles at every vain in my body. I wake up in the middle of a gun fight between mechs and people I have never met. I get pulled out by some Cerberus fuckers and brought to their boss who tells me that after my death you three in all your dumb ass wisdom, despite my evidence and my work to show you the truth, have undone all the progress I made!!” 

Though she wasn’t shouting, the anger in her voice and tone was enough to make even the Turian councillor flinch at her words. The Council was silent for a time, looking amongst themselves though no words were spoken via the holo images, Shepard knew there was communication between the three she couldn’t hear. 

She felt a small tickle at her neck and brushed it off as she continued. “You’re lives and the lives of everyone on this Citadel came at the cost of thousands of lives, MY choice saved the three of you from getting worse then Saren got. I lost a good men and women chasing Saren from one side of the galaxy to the other because you three ignored the threats and the thanks I get when I get spaced is to have everything I worked for covered up and forgotten because you three ungrateful, self-centred wretches of a Council want things to go back to the way they were before and forget that somewhere out here in dark space is a race of beings that will come here and wipe us out.” 

“Marie!” Chakwas called out and at last, Shepard looked away from the Councillors and noticed the large staining pool patch forming on her side and running down her face, she nodded and Chakwas stepped forwards, clean bandage and medi-gel in hand a she worked quickly to reapply the dressing to her Commander’s face. 

~“You mean to peruse this Collector threat?”~ Councillor Sparatus asked after Chakwas had finished her treatment, though he said nothing as the doctor also set about redressing the Commander’s other injuries on her arms. 

“I plan to put a stop to it before they turn the people they have stolen from the Human Colonies into Husks or worse. Then I have every intention of making sure the whole damn galaxy is ready to fight the Reapers and if you three won’t help me do that, then I’ll make sure to leave you to your fates the next time your lives are at risk.” She stated. 

The three looked amongst themselves, silently agreeing on what Shepard already knew was going to their answer. ~“We have no doubt that you will keep to your word, Commander, but it is also clear that you are in need of medical care and so, until you have had appropriate time to heal, you and your crew may remain here. We shall contact you with the finer details of our decision when you are ready.”~ Councillor Tevos assured and then their images vanished. 

Anderson and Chakwas caught her as her legs gave out, unable to hold herself up any longer as they brought her to the couch in his office, just as Anderson was about to speak, his officer door opened and Udina barged in. 

“What is she doing here?” he demanded. 

“Plotting to kill you for being an ass.” She hissed at him. 

Anderson hushed her softly and then pulled Udina to the far side of his office to speak with him while Chakwas and Garrus tended to her as best they could. “Easy Shepard, take a moment to rest.” Chakwas told her softly. “You’ve done enough now.” 

“It’s going to take longer for me to heal this time, isn’t it?” She asked looking at Chakwas with pained eyes. “Longer than Akuze.” 

The doctor nodded, “You aren’t young anymore and heaven knows I wish I could make this easier for you.” 

“Shit…” Shepard huffed. “I’m going to go crazy on the Normandy…” 

“You won’t be on the Normandy.” Chakwas said and Shepard saw the small smile forming on the doctor’s face. “I may not have been able to save you from two years in Cerberus’s care, but there are people here who still care for you.” She explained. 

“What did you do?” She asked. 

Chakwas smiled. “Come on, we’re going to get you somewhere comfortable.” She said as Garrus helped her to stand again. “Somewhere away from the crowds and news reporters.” 

~~~@~~~ 

{“Are you sure she’ll even help us?”} Miranda asked as she spoke to the Illusive man from the Normandy SR-2. {“She refuses to follow any ideas I put forwards and she has rejected any medical aid Cerberus could offer her.”} 

“Shepard is a woman of habit and instinct, Miranda, she has no desire to allow strangers near her. Least of all those who in her mind are no better than a rival gang.” He stated, taking a long drag from his cigarette. “She will not accept anything from us until she trusts us, and that isn’t likely to happen.” 

{“But she isn’t in a Gang anymore, she’s got a whole galaxy to save and she’s refusing to get the help we give her to speed up her own recovery.”} Miranda growled. {“She’s not even looking at the personal Dossiers we organized for her.”} 

“Shepard will accept when she is ready. She has already taken in Mordin and she has Zaeed in her crew.” He assured, looking over other information. “She needs time Miranda and while we don’t have much of it, we can grant her the chance to recover on her own. We need only insure that she is ready to fight when the Collectors make their next move.” 

{“Yes Sir.”} she said and the channel cut off as she left the room. 

~~~@~~~ 

“Why are we in the Citadel Medical?” Shepard asked as Garrus helped her walk through the quiet, calm and almost homely walk ways to reach a large, hospital Shepard had the joy of visiting while she had been recovering from Akuze. 

She had ignored the pains in her legs, though she knew Garrus wasn’t fooled by the bravado, he kept his hold on her firm and strong, helping her up the few steps that broke up the walkways. 

“Wait and see,” Chakwas smiled. “I promise you will like this.” 

“You sound like a grandmother.” Shepard said with a pained smiled as she staggered slightly, her knees shaking and her head spinning. “Oh…” 

“Heaven knows I’m old enough to be yours.” Chakwas chuckled as Garrus’s grip on her tightened and he practically carried her up the two steps, to the large doors before them. “And we’re here.” She said. 

“Where’s here?” Shepard asked only to be stunned into silence as a warmth washed over her and a familiar elderly face filled her vision. “Admiral Moore?” 

“Just Moore now, Marie. I’ve been retired for the last eighteen months.” The old man said as he ducked under her free arm and helped Garrus carry her into the spacious and brilliantly clean clinic. “Here, sit down and rest a moment,” he said leading her to a bed. 

“Where are we?” She asked though she couldn’t fight as he lightly set her onto the bed and offered her a drink from a cool glass, smiling as she drained the glass dry. 

“This is the Moore Specialist clinic, my own little thank you to soldiers of all races injured in the line of duty who struggle to cope with the after math of those injuries and those who need specialist care for their injuries, such as Nihlus’s neck and Garrus’s facial injury here.” He added as he and Chakwas pushed the bed into a privet room, Garrus right behind them as a young male nurse came over with a small tray of clean bandages, surgical thread, small sedative bottles and a few other tools of the healing trade Shepard recognized. 

“You’re going to patch me up here?” she asked. 

“The Clinic is my job and we are supplying your ship and crew with everything you need to properly care for you crew.” Moore explained smiling, “Now, you relax and let Chakwas do her work, I’ll help as best I can and make a few calls to make sure you aren’t bothered.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Just get better, and then we’re going to have a very long talk with Anderson and the Council.” Moore said. 

“Yes Sir.” Shepard said, unable to keep the small smile from her face as Chakwas set to work making her sleepy so she could properly work on the injuries she had. 

She knew that word would spread like wild fire though out the Citadel about her return and from every crack and shadowed corner came the whisperers, the doubters and the gossips, each one with a twisted story to tell about Shepard’s return, the scandal of her being part of Cerberus and the faked death. 

Those who wanted to make trouble however, soon found out that their words were making them targets for the crew of the Normandy, Garrus’s old C-Sec connections helped keep the reporters away while Chakwas’s medical friends insured no one snuck into the clinic as Shepard rested and made sure to remind everyone who dared to try and get close that a doctor could very easily break bones as well as mend them. 

So, when Shepard woke from a restful sleep and caught the scent of expensive perfume, she knew it was someone in the room with her, someone who had a jade ring over her wedding finger. 

“Amber?” She asked softly, smiling as the woman came into view, a worried look on her face as she gently brushed Shepard’s hair out of her face. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” the woman smiled and took a moment to wipe the tears away before they could fall. “H… how are you feeling?” Madam Amber Ruby asked. 

“Sore, but I’ll live. Nice perfume by the way.” She said as a relieved smile covered Amber’s face. “How did you get past Chakwas?” she asked. 

“I brought a special guest to see you,” The woman smiled and looked down to her side. 

Shepard sat herself up carefully and spotted a young girl, maybe six years old, peaking at her from behind Amber, clutching a large floppy eared bunny toy in one arm and holding tightly to the edge of Amber’s dress skirt with the other. 

“Marie, this is Jane. Jade’s sister.” Amber introduced as she gently lifted the child up into her lap. “She wanted to meet the great lady who tried to save her big sister on Akuze.” She explained, “Say hello Jane.” 

“Hi,” the little girl said, her voice slightly high pitched with childhood youth, sparkling green eyes wide with wonder and awe as she timidly reached out a hand. 

“Hello Jane.” Shepard smiled taking the child’s hand and gently shook it, “And who is this?” She asked looking at the bunny doll Jane was hugging. 

“Jade.” Jane smiled as she showed off the bunny, “She was my sister’s but now she’s mine.” 

Shepard smiled and Amber chuckled, “She must be very brave,” Shepard said, gently shaking the doll’s paw. “So, tell me about what’s happened while I was away.” She added, smiling as Jane wiggled back to the floor and found a package of coloured pencils and a scrap book from a large bag, then clambered back up onto the bed and began to draw pictures while she and Amber spoke. 

It wasn’t just colonies in the Terminus System that were vanishing it seemed, people from Council Space were also going missing. Asari, Drell, Salarians, everyone was being targeted and despite the best efforts of those who had believed her, the Council had done a good job burying the truth about the Reapers and the threat the posed. 

Shepard refrained from cursing as Jane scribbled on her paper, the council had completely undone the work that she had done to try and prepare everyone for what was coming, though while Shepard had been dead, there had been some interesting happenings amongst the families of her crew mates from the Everfree and those people who had been close to her from before she came a Spector. 

Benjamin wasn’t a front-line soldier as she had thought he would be though he had served two years in the Alliance on the front lines in a short battle against the Geth, he had found a new calling in the special ops and was currently on a mission with a team somewhere in Citadel Space, but had promised he would come by a visit the minute he got chance. 

Nihlus had come out of retirement to train Benjamin as best he could and now he was working with the Kirana family to not only change the training and treatment of Biotics in both Humans and Turians, but also give them far better training and treatment for the painful migraines and other sufferings they often suffered from. Shepard smiled and made a note to try and contact Nihlus later on when she had a moment, wincing slightly as her body began to ache and her side burned with stiffness. 

“Shall I call Chakwas?” Amber asked. 

“No, I’m ok,” Shepard shook her head, “Just old injuries acting up.” 

“From the fight against Saren?” Amber asked. 

“And other things.” A familiar voice chuckled and Marie smiled as Garrus and Joker came in to the room, Garrus carrying a small pile of plates in one hand and a large carry out bag in the other. 

“We come bearing gifts.” He assured. 

“Food?” Jane asked. 

Amber smiled. “Yes Jane, he has food for us.” She said pulling the side table around for Shepard as Garrus placed the plates down and then carefully handed out the paper wrapped food. 

“Fish and chips for the Commander, a rice and chicken balls dish for Madam Amber Ruby, a Kid’s special meal with extra nuggets for little Lady Kirana and a kentucky-fried chicken dish for me,” Joker smiled. 

“What about him?” Jane asked point at Garrus. 

“I have a Turian style stake with sides,” Garrus smiled taking the last food parcel from the bag, “Anderson and the rest of the crew will be along shortly.” He added. 

“Do we need to go?” Jane asked sadly. 

“No.” Shepard shook her head, “You can stay as long as you want.” She smiled. 

“Yay!” Jane smiled and then smiled as she sat down to eat her food. 

Shepard pushed the urge to cry down into her chest again, Jane looked so much like Jade, her face was the same, just so much younger and her eyes. It filled something inside her chest with that same warmth Jade had slowly planted and then nurtured so long ago, teaching Shepard how to relax and allow people close. 

“You ok?” Garrus asked. 

“I’m fine.” She nodded and turned her attention to her meal. 

~~~@~~~ 

He sighed and leant back in his chair, watching the screens in front of him carefully. It had taken a lot of work, and a lot of setbacks to bring Shepard back from the brink, a few more than he had expected. 

But they had done it and while Miranda had wanted to in plant a control device into the other woman, he refused that idea out right. Shepard was a woman who had come from the very bottom of life, and despite his attempts to leave poetics out of his thought, he couldn’t help but think of her as some kind of flower in a mess of gardens. 

A tiny seedling, left by her parents as a child to be raised on the streets of earth, learning from the scum of the world how to live and survive alone, building her own skills and instincts up from a young age. 

No one helped her. And she helped no one, not even her own gang. She had been Runt, the littlest girl in the group of twenty, she’d been their best runner, smuggling drugs and weapons around the city for money to buy food, though as far as he could see she had never allowed anyone to use her sexually. 

She had lived that life until she was eighteen, growing a hard, thick shell around her petals and her roost were shallow, moving from place to place in an attempt to protect herself and then after being arrested for trespassing on privet property, she had been approached by a young Comms officer, a pretty little thing by the name of Jennie Ken and given a small leaflet, one of thousands handed out that day. 

Two days later, Marie Jane had turned up at the Alliance signing office. There things had started to change, he could see it in her file, she’d taken the name Shepard and after a few weeks, she had been taken in to the Moore Household by the then Commander Moore, given a home and place to sleep that didn’t leave her cold in the streets and slowly, like a flower coming into bloom, she had started to open her hard shell and slowly the roots started to sink deeper. 

She helped many, but trusted none, she offered advice freely, but accepted rarely did she accept help in return, she had been welcomed into the ranks of the Alliance easily, quickly climbing until she had bene hurt during training, saving two others from a compactor resulting in a broken leg and other injuries. 

There she had been treated by the good Doctor Chakwas for the first time and for all his searching, it seemed only Chakwas had ever been there to tend the Commander after that, something about the older woman had stuck with the Commander even then, a sense of trust that no other health care professional could gain from her. 

Then came the N7 School. 

Shepard had signed on the dotted line before they’d even explained what it really was and while many had doubted a girl could stand such intense training, Shepard had not only out run the boys in her group, she had out lapped her coaches too. 

That had brought her to Hackett’s attention and that had bene how she first came into contact with ‘Challenges’ the term given to the friendly sparing matches and game between Turians and Humans and how she had become part of Commander Greens crew. 

The blooming flower seemed to have grown and found its place in a small garden of other flowers and for a few blissful years she had been settled and allowed to grow into something more amongst the new family she had come to love. 

Then Akuze happened and the Illusive man saw her file change again. 

No longer was the flower open but once again closed off, as if trying to shelter from the cold storm that followed her losses on Akuze, though the garden was no barren save herself, she had somehow clung to the roots of her home and slowly, very, very slowly, the garden had found new life and the closed flower bloomed again and fought off an invading weed to her small garden when she faced Saren and Sovereign. 

After her death, she had become a shrivelled mess, like a sickly flower, weak and frail, barely worth saving. But the flowers around her had not allowed her to hit the floor and die away, they had each spent something trying to find her, desperate to keep her alive. 

He had plucked the flower up, roots and all and with Miranda’s determined attitude and with all the funds he could find, he had brought the flower back, given it new life, delicately replanting her in her garden again and now, he could nothing more then watch her try and take root again and try to grow strong. 

As it was her roots were sinking deep into the soil, searching for the needed energy and help to grow strong again amongst those stems and sheltering leaves of her closest and most trusted friends, those who had been there to help her grow before, her petals covered once again in a hard shell. 

There was a long way to go, but he had a few tricks up his sleeve to make the flower come out of her shell again, starting with the new flowers in that garden. Already two new seeds were blooming with her old ones, but she would need more help to grow strong again against these new Weeds that threatened the garden. 

~~~@~~~ 

“Professor?” Chakwas called quietly as she stepped into the Tech Lab, “Mordin?” 

“Over here. Sorry. Working on samples. Did not hear you come in.” the Salarian stated as he poked his head out from the side of the tech lab, hands rapidly flying over the key board of his console. “Something wrong?” he added. 

“While Shepard is healing I thought it wise to come and make sure you weren’t over working yourself,” The doctor stated and placed a cup of warm tea down for him. “Have you had any luck? Shepard will at least rest easily if she knows we have something to fight against the Collectors.” 

“Working fast as can. Making good progress. Not quite perfected cure or counter effect. Collector Swarm very large from reports. Many stings possible though out one colony. Must be careful.” The Salarian said. “Need more time. Will keep both you and Shepard updated on progress.” 

Chakwas nodded. “Thank you Mordin.” She said and moved to leave, pausing as Mordin handed her a large looking ball of some kind. 

“Please. Return to Miranda. Do not enjoy being watched by surveillance bugs, but too expensive to destroy like rest.” He explained and Chakwas nodded 

“I’d have just smashed it.” Joker said as he limped by. 

“Joker be nice.” Chakwas said, “She’s paid to get you back in the air.” 

“Shepard’s the reason I am here. Not money.” The pilot stated. “I’m only here because she’s the one in the Commander’s seat.” 

“Would like to speak with Commander. When is she returning?” Mordin asked. 

“Not until she’s able to walk again. Without the aid of crutches and her injuries are healed enough to permit painless movement.” Chakwas stated. 

“May be able to help with that. If permitted, don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.” Mordin offered and Chakwas smiled. 

“I will put your offer to her when I see her in the morning, she hates being bed ridden.” 

~~~@~~~ 

Anderson knew it was coming. 

He had been waiting for the day he heard the first complaint. 

And before the first week was even over, Shepard was up to her usual stunts. Sneaking out of her room at night and trying to prepare her body for the coming battle she was going to face, often to the point where Chakwas was forced to go in and tell her to stop the push ups, crunches and other work out exercises Marie insisted on doing. 

Twice, she’d been caught outside the clinic by Garrus, who, much like any loyal friend had followed her like a shadow and when she had at last stopped trying to walk without her crutches he’d brought her back, granted he ignored the orders from the Turian Councillor to come and give a full report about just what the hell was going on in favour of making sure she was safe, which gave the Council a reason to bug Anderson, who politely showed them the door to Udina’s office all the while he tried to help convince Shepard to rest and let the injuries heal on their own. 

Only to have her ignore him and be back at it the next day. 

It shouldn’t have shocked him that Zaeed, Nihlus and Benjamin would stop by and help her with those exercises or that when Jane was there with Amanda, the child would often sit her toy on Shepard’s back as she did push ups and count Shepard’s push ups. 

It took three weeks, two days and four hours for Shepard to carry her own weight and to prove she was ready to go back out, and another twenty minutes to be reinstated as a Spector since she made the Council a deal, if she could run two laps around a chosen area of the Presidium, keeping pace with Garrus, Nihlus, Benjamin and Zaeed in under twenty minutes, they would give her back her Spector status. 

She’d run the laps in fifteen minutes and ten seconds and still had the strength and energy to lift Jane up and carry her up the stairs with a smirk that could only be seen on the face of Marie Jane Shepard when she spoke to the Councillors. 

Late in the night, waiting for the Normandy to be fully restocked and refuelled, Shepard silently lay in her bed in the clinic, her face illuminated by the data pad Chakwas had brought to her, filled with get well wishes and updates from everyone she knew, pictures from Jane’s baby days and mementoes of those days she’d had on the Normandy while chasing Saren. 

She smiled and then turned to the window of her room. “Are you going to stay out there all night or are you just testing to see how long it takes me to call security?” she asked. 

There was a moment silence and then, the window opened seemingly by itself and then closed again. “How did you know I was there?” A woman’s voice asked. 

“I felt eyes on me. Have done since we got here, when that feeling stayed with me after everyone was gone, I knew it wasn’t just me being paranoid.” Shepard explained. “You often peak in windows?” she asked. 

“Only when I’m a fan of the person I’m watching.” The woman admitted and Shepard saw the bed dip as the woman sat beside her on the bed. “Cerberus gave you my file.” 

“Ah,” Shepard smiled. “Let me think, an invisible lady in my room at an ungodly hour of the night, clearly skilled enough to get around security systems and not been seen by cameras.” She listened off, “Kasumi Goto?” 

“I would offer you a prise, but we both know you have everything you want.” Kasumi said. “So, you need help with something and so do I, Cerberus and I have a little deal.” she stated and Shepard felt a hand touch hers. “Mind if we talk details?” 

She smiled, “One rule.” She said, “You don’t show anyone the picture of me having a tea party with Jane and the bunny doll.” 

There was a chuckle from Kasumi and the image suddenly appeared in front of Shepard’s data pad screen, the light showing the very tip of her fingers. “You’d make a good mother.” 

“Maybe,” Shepard smiled, “So, this deal you have with Cerberus, what is it about?” 

“Yeah, I knew they’d let something slip their minds.” Kasumi huffed, “I’m looking for my old partner’s greybox. Donovan Hock took it and I want it back. I need more times to nail down the finer details, but I have already taken the liberty of finding you some evening wear, you can’t just go in dressed like a Spector.” 

“Please don’t tell me you got me a mini black dress.” Shepard pleaded. 

“No, but still, we need you to look presentable.” Kasumi chuckled. “Mr. Hock is a well-respected ‘businessman.’ Arms Dealer, Murderer, you know the kind.” She said, “His home is famous for being hard to crack, but I have us a way in and I think you are going to love it.” 

“Do I at least get to keep a gun?” She asked. 

“Expecting trouble? You’re mine kinda woman.” Kasumi said with a smile to her voice. 

“So, what about this partner of yours?” Shepard asked. “How’d Hock take his Greybox? Those things aren’t easy to put in much less take out again. No matter how you get them.” 

“His name was Keiji Okuda, the best hacker and entry man I’ve ever known.” Kasumi explained and Shepard heard the pain in her voice. “He slipped up and made himself infamous, stealing something you shouldn’t will do that. He warned me that it was bad, something that could start an interstellar war if it got out.” 

“And that got him killed?” Shepard asked, “How did he keep it safe so long? No doubt Hock’s tried to look into the Greybox by now.” 

“Keiji encrypted it, wrapped it in his own memories.” Kasumi told her and Shepard made a nosie of understanding, “If you want to decode the information you have to sift through all the time he and I were together. Those memories are all that are left of him Shepard. All that remains of who he was.” 

“And Cerberus promised you I’d help get it back?” Shepard said. 

“If you want my help.” Kasumi stated. “I know you aren’t ready to go now, but I need an answer if I’m going to join you.” 

Shepard growled. “Remind me to shoot the Illusive man when I have a chance please,” She said then looked at where Kasumi was sat on her bed, “Tell you what Kasumi, I promised Zaeed I’d look into his troubles on Zorya so while I do that, you nail down the last details of your heist and when you have the details done and we have agreed on my evening attire, we can find Keiji’s grey box. Though so help me, I’m gonna hurt you if I find a mini black dress in my room when I get back to the Normandy in the morning.” 

“Thank you, Shepard.” Kasumi’s voice betrayed her smile. “I’ll see you on the ship.” She added and the window opened and closed again. 

Shepard sighed and slowly rolled on to her right side, closing her eyes as she at last slipped into sleep. 

~~~@~~~ 

Leaving the Citadel early the next morning went without a hitch and thankfully without anyone stopping them for an interview and without even waiting for the Council to clear them for leaving Shepard set their course for Zorya. 

Miranda made her way to speak with the Commander when she caught her stepping into Zaeed’s little hide away and made to follow her, pausing as she heard the Commander talking to Zaeed about his past with Vido. 

“What can we expect from this Vido guy Zaeed? And don’t sugar coat it.” She asked as she looked over his few belongings. 

“Vido and I founded the Blue Suns, until twenty years ago things were ok. He did the books and I lead the men.” Zaeed explained. “Then Vido started to hire Batarians, cheaper labour he said but I wouldn’t allow it, Batarians are terrorists. Vido turned my men against me, paid six of them to restrain me while he put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger.” 

“You survived a bullet to the head?” She asked in shock. 

“And you survived your ship disintegrating.” Zaeed reminded. “A person can survive anything if they are strong enough. And Rage is one hell of an anaesthetic. But you already knew that, I read about what you went through on Akuze Shepard, and I’m not gonna believe that you didn’t find the bastard responsible for the deaths of your crew and kill him.” 

“I didn’t kill him.” She told him. “Beat the day lights out of him, yes, break bones, yes, but I’m not a murderer, Zaeed. I won’t go down that path again. I started down it when I was Runt, the Wolf Pack runner on Earth. But I’m not Runt anymore and I will never go back to that life, I won’t stain my hands again.” 

“You’ve killed before you were in the Alliance?” Zaeed asked. 

“I made lots of mistakes as a child.” Marie said, “I’m not making those mistakes again so I’ll say this once and only once Zaeed. This mission is to liberate the Refinery on Zorya, if there are people there that need help, I’ll help them and if that means your old friend gets away, so be it.” She told him. 

“Twenty years of my life ruined because of some helpless people?” Zaeed snarled. “I think not Shep-argh!” Miranda rounded the door frame to see Shepard push Zaeed against the wall with a heavy shove, holding him the throat as Zaeed struggled to claw her hand off his neck. 

“Commander?!” 

“I will not have any more innocent blood on my hands because Cerberus made you a promise of revenge. This crew works as a team and if I can’t trust you to follow orders over your own personal feelings, then you can jump ship if the outcome on Zorya isn’t want you want. That’s how it is going to be for everyone, no matter what Cerberus promised them in exchange for helping me. If you or anyone else doesn’t like that, they can leave with full pay.” She squeezed and Zaeed started to turn red in the face. “Are. We. Clear?” 

“Runt.” 

Miranda watched in shock as Zaeed was released and the Commander turned to face Nihlus as the old Turian squared his shoulders and stood tall, towering over Shepard with ease. 

“That is enough.” 

The Turian and the Commander looked at each other for a long time, the glazed and angry look over Shepard’s eyes slowly fading away to show confusion and shock for a moment before the Commander bowed her head, looking like a scolded child. 

“Chakwas will clean your face up.” Nihlus stated and stepped aside as the Commander walked past him, once she was out of ear shot, he offered a hand to Zaeed. “Never mention the aftermath of Akuze or the way she would have behaved to Marie when she is sober. It brings out the worst in her.” He informed. 

“Cerberus failed to mention any of that.” Zaeed hissed with a glare at Miranda. 

“Her records were sealed.” Miranda defended. 

“Then while I’m away, you better come up with a very good fucking explanation to that, Miss Perfect or I’ll take the credits she’s offering and leave.” Zaeed snapped as he headed to the cafeteria. 

Miranda stood shocked beyond words for a moment and then, after watching Nihlus was away, she clenched her fists and marched to the comms room, she needed to speak with the Illusive Man again. 

~~~@~~~ 

“How is she?” she heard Garrus ask Chakwas as she lay on the bed, Chakwas carefully tending the scars to her face, somehow reopened by what had happened. 

“She’s fine Garrus.” Chakwas assured, “She just needs time to resettle and maybe some Moonshine.” 

“Don’t promise me a good drink and not deliver.” She said, taking a minute to speak the words while trying to move her jaw a little as possible as Chakwas gently patted the scares with a cool cloth, leaving her skin tingling and numb. 

“Maybe I have a bottle somewhere that you don’t know about.” Chakwas smiled. “But you can have that drink after your face has feeling again, so around tomorrow night,” She added. “Now, no more stress, if I have to make Garrus sit on you so you sleep I will.” 

“He doesn’t need asking.” She smiled and Garrus rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Go see Mordin Shepard, he wanted to talk to you before about something important, then go rest and prepare for this mission, we’ll talk more later.” The Doctor smiled, lightly shooing the two out of her office. 

“Is there anything you need Garrus?” Shepard asked, “Just so I can make a list of stuff to do to stay busy.” 

“I can handle my own trouble Shepard, you need time to yourself.” He smiled. “I’ll catch up with you when we’re done with Zorya.” He assured as they parted ways and Shepard watched him head into the Main Battery. 

She sighed and slipped into the Tech Lab, pausing as she heard soft muttering coming from the back of the lab. “Mordin?” She asked. 

“Ah, Shepard, good timing, was about to contact you. Needed to tell you important findings.” The Salarian stated while pausing his typing. “Coming up with way to counter Collector Swarm Paralyzes, very challenging, but coming along, need more samples, more Collector data, tissue samples, whatever you can get. I can use.” 

“Chakwas said you wanted to talk to me about something.” Shepard nodded, “Was that it?” 

“No, needed to be clear with you, not like idea of keeping secrets from someone who helped strangers and then got hurt saving friends. Can’t lie to you. Must have trust if we are to work together.” Mordin said. “Worked as STG Operative before Omega, was meant to be retired but got bored. Needed work. Set up clinic on Omega to help others, fight the good fight too. But, done many things in past not proud of.” 

“We’ve all got ghosts in our closets Mordin.” She said. 

“Not all as big as mine.” Mordin said. “While working with STG, studied Krogan genophage.” 

“Why?” She asked. 

“Krogan rebellions bloody Shepard, nearly as bad as Rachni attacks. All species evolve, adapt, mutate, if genophage weakened needed to be prepared. Was part of team that studied Genophage to me sure not weakening.” Mordin sighed. “But was more than just study. Uncovered surprising data, Krogan populations increasing at faster rate than expected. Krogan adapting to Genophage. Overcoming naturally. Personally lead team of scientists, created new version of Genophage, released it on Tuchanka. Restabilized Krogan population.” 

“By giving them more reason to dislike your kind?” Shepard asked. “I have no love for the Krogan who caused wars and brought violence to their world. But I know some Krogan are better than that and they suffer because of the mistakes of those who came before them.” 

“Can understand, heard about Krogan on your crew, heard you had close friendship. Reason for wanting to tell you this, needed to clear the air, no secretes.” Mordin admitted. “Will work on cure for Collector swarm, but, can’t promise results until more samples tested.” 

Shepard sighed. “Thank you for telling me Mordin. I doubt you’ve told many others this.” She said and then turned to leave, “Mordin?” 

“Yes Shepard?” 

“If there was a cure for the Genophage. Would you tell me?” she asked. 

“Would tell you.” Mordin nodded, “Just not sure if I would be alive if Krogan found out.” 

~~~@~~~ 

They reached Zorya and after a few minutes Shepard saw several bodies lying around in the open, left to rot in the Zorya forest. “Vido’s style.” Zaeed growled. 

“There’s Pyjak here.” Garrus said then smiled as one dashed across the path in front of them chasing a bug of some kind. 

“Can you tame Pyjak?” Shepard asked sounding hopeful. 

“If you get them young enough.” Zaeed nodded. “But they aren’t good house pets, they piss everywhere, eat anything they can get into and they sleep in the most stupid places.” He added. 

“But they are cute.” Shepard smiled as they moved on. 

“If you so much breath the words ‘can I keep one?’ I swear I will restrict you from Moonshine for the rest of the mission.” Nihlus stated as he checked his weapons. “I’ll go on ahead, make sure Vido isn’t setting any traps, grab what intel I can and try to get the innocents out.” 

“Good, stay on text lines.” Shepard nodded. “And don’t get shot in the back of the neck this time.” She told him. 

“Understood Commander.” And with that, Nihlus headed off alone. Zaeed, Shepard and Garrus moved off, taking their time to make sure they alert anyone too soon to their presence, Garrus sniping anyone in the Blue Suns colours while Shepard took a few shots herself until they came to a bridge across a waterfall. 

“Somethings not right,” She said as they crossed the bridge. “Someone else should have shown up by now to stop us.” 

“Nihlus have anything?” Garrus asked as she checked her text channels, typing quickly she requested an update. 

‘Helping workers get out. No sign of Vido.’ Was the response she got back. 

“He’s clearing house, but no sign of Vido.” Shepard said, “You sure he’s here?” she added looking at Zaeed. 

Zaeed nodded, “We’ll run into him soon enough.” He assured, “We better keep moving.” 

“You ok?” Garrus asked her as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. 

“Trying to stay focused on a positive side to all this whole situation.” She told him, “It’s not easy.” She added as they walked into a large hanger. Garrus nodded, wanting to say something more but before he could, the building rocked and they hit the ground for cover as bullets rained down on them from a higher ledge. 

“Son of a bitch!” Zaeed snarled as he fired on the Blue Suns above them. “I’ll kill the lot of ya!!” 

“Zaeed!” Shepard snarled trying to be heard over the explosions. “Explain yourself!” 

“I came here to kill Vido, if you want my help you better make sure that he died today!” Zaeed snarled back, “I am not losing twenty years of my life, not now!” He added and raced off into the flames, chasing Vido. 

“Zaeed!” She yelled after him, only to stagger back as the roof came down, blocking her way to follow him. “Zaeed!? Son of a bitch!” 

~ “Shepard? What the hell is going on?” ~ Nihlus asked, ~ “What was the explosion?” ~ 

“Zaeed ran off on his own!” Shepard snarled, “Tell me you got everyone out?” 

~ “Everyone but a few dozen worker, they’re cut off by the fire!” ~ Nihlus explained. ~ “I can’t reach them while the fires are going.” ~ 

“Fine, Garrus and I will deal with the fires and the crew, you find out what the fuck Zaeed is up too and then pin him down so I can rip him a new one!” Shepard hissed. 

~ “Aye Commander.” ~ 

“You ok?” Garrus asked, helping her to her feet away from the growing flames. 

“No.” Shepard hissed, “So help me I’m not in the mood for this bullshit!” she hissed as they made their way through the burning refinery, moving through the flames to reach the trapped workers and releasing them, helping them out into the safety of the shuttles waiting for them. 

“Zaeed where the fuck are you!?” Shepard snarled into the comms. “Zaeed?!” 

“He’s still after Vido!” Nihlus yelled from across the flames. “This way!” 

Garrus holstered his weapons and took a running leap to the ledge over the flames, landing heavily and turning just in time to catch Shepard as she followed him, pretending not to see the pained look on her face as she tried to follow Nihlus’s path. 

Chakwas was going to have a fit when she found out about this. 

They reached the safety of a clearing in the refinery without flames, Shepard saw Zaeed rush after Vido and line up a shot that would kill, only to miss as Vido vaulted down a set of metal stairs and into another room. 

The refinery rocked and Shepard yelped as the walk way she, Nihlus and Garrus were on trembled and shook with enough force to throw them off their feet, groaning and creaking in warning as the three of them raced off it, seconds before it could collapse. 

“Damn it Zaeed!” Shepard cursed and hurried after the old man, vaulting the rubble and fallen debris around her to follow the old Merc as he chased his target, taking shots every chance he got as he ran after Vido. 

Just as he lined up the kill shot once again, the refinery was rocked by a second huge explosion and Zaeed rolled to avoid being crushed as a large section of wall came down, but that gave Vido time to board his ship and take off. 

“See you in another twenty years.” The Blue Suns leader taunted as he left, only for his ship to be pelted by bullets from Zaeed’s gun, one lucky shot taking out his piolet. 

Garrus yanked Shepard back from the flames as a large pillar collapsed down and crushed Zaeed’s legs under it, bringing a loud curse from the old man as he struggled to get from under the heavy beam. “Son of a bitch!” 

“You alright?” She asked. 

“The hell do you care?” Zaeed snarled. “Get me outta this shit hole.” 

“Did I not give you enough warning about how this was going to go on the Normandy or are you just trying to see if I’ll really leave you here?” She snapped. “I don’t need or want a loose cannon on my ship.” 

“If you didn’t need someone like me, Cerberus wouldn’t have paid my fee. I’ll do what I am paid to do Shepard, nothing more and nothing less.” He snarled. 

“You put your own goals before the mission, hell you started the fires that nearly killed every innocent life here,” She reminded him, “I’m not part of Cerberus, I never will be and if you think I’ll let you ruin my life’s work over one life, you’re not going to be part of this mission.” 

“I survived this long watching my own back Shepard, I have no time to worry about everyone else.” Zaeed told her. 

“Fine,” Shepard said and turned away, leaving Zaeed where he was. 

“Where are you going!? Shepard Stop screwing around and get me outta this shithole!” Zaeed snarled, feeling the heat of the flames getting closer to his back. “You need me Shepard!” 

“I need people I can trust to follow orders and think about the consequences of their actions. I don’t need wild cards like you who can’t put vendetta’s aside when they are on a mission.” She told him. “You got yourself in to this mess, Zaeed. You spent twenty years tracking Vido, and you survived the gunshot to the head. Get your ass in gear and get yourself out.” And with that she turned away. 

~~~@~~~ 

“Why wasn’t this in her files?!” Miranda snarled as she looked over the information she had just been sent. 

“Because Marie has friends who won’t let her past ruin her.” A voice stated firmly from her work station. “Now do yourself a favour and stop digging in her past, someone will notice and you will face Shepard yourself.” 

“You knew?” Miranda asked Chakwas as the doctor typed rapidly at her console. 

“I was there when she joined the Alliance, Miranda. I was there to tend the injuries and try to bring the real Marie from the shell she’d made around herself.” The doctor said. “Now please leave my medical bay, Joker is due any minute for his Therapy.” She added, leaving no room for Miranda to argue. 

She growled and headed to her office, typing in a comm channel and waiting for the man on the other end to answer. 

She needed to know more about Shepard, before she made a mistake and lost the work she had done for the last two years forever. 

~~~@~~~ 

Zaeed limped to the shuttle, clutching his leg as he dragged himself into the small craft, finding Garrus and Nihlus already strapped in waiting to go while Shepard sat in the piolet seat. Jacob helped Zaeed into his seat and just after they had strapped in, Shepard took off full speed away from Zorya. 

He would need to seriously think about what he was going to do now, but first he needed to see the Doctor and get his injuries seen too. Reaching the ship, he saw Shepard push Jacob out of her way as she left the shuttle, Nihlus and Garrus following her without a word to Zaeed as she went to her room and sealed the door behind her. 

Jacob sighed and heled Zaeed to the medical bay just as Joker was leaving, and Chakwas shooed Jacob out while Zaeed sat himself on the medical bed. “Consider yourself lucky.” She told him. 

“She left me there-” Zaeed began only to be silenced as Chakwas turned on him with a glare that could rival a mother’s glare at her misbehaving children. 

“You ran off by yourself to take revenge on a man who isn’t worth the time of day. You left innocent people to die because you wanted to Vido dead. Cerberus may enjoy paying you for such things, but Shepard does not need people like you in or around her life.” The doctor stated. “Now sit still and hush, I’ll fix you up but beyond that you will need to talk to Marie yourself.” 

~~~@~~~ 

“I know you’re there, Kasumi.” 

She smiled and decloaked to show she was leant on the edge of the desk, watching Shepard’s fish as they swam this way and that, listening to the frantic typing Shepard was doing behind her at the terminal. 

“I’ve finished nailing down the details of that heist I need your help with.” She said after a moment. “But now I have a little problem.” 

“You’ve got nothing to worry about.” Shepard told her, “Zaeed is a man who can’t let go of old hates and lets that rule him. He isn’t going to be help when the time comes. But you have been planning this for a long time and the reasons are personal and private, I don’t need to know much about this Keiji person to know he was more than a partner to you. His Greybox is all you have left and Hock is keeping it to hurt you. I need the skills of a Master Thief if I’m going to figure out the secrete to the Collectors and you are a Master.” 

“So, you don’t care that I might kill Hock?” 

“Might.” Shepard stated. “You may have chance to kill Hock and if that chance comes, you’ll take it, I have no doubt about that. But you aren’t actively seeking to kill him with this heist Kasumi, you want Keiji’s Greybox and if that’s what it takes to earn your trust and help, I’ll help you get him back, if Hock makes himself a target and you have the chance and shot to end him, I won’t get in your way.” She said. 

Kasumi smiled. “It took guts to stand up to Zaeed that way Shepard. But I am glad you did. Now I know who you really are.” She said and once she saw the flicker of the screen shutting off, she held out a pair of coat hangers with two different dresses on them. “So, which would you prefer, Mrs. Alicen Gunn?” 

~~~@~~~ 

He read the reports and listened as Miranda expressed her worries about Shepard over a recorded message. 

She had helped the Thief regain her lover’s Greybox, then without pause, she’d gone to find Warlord Okeer on Korlus, only to pick up his ‘Pure Krogan Berserker’ Krogan Grunt who so far, was proving to be a helpful addition to her crew. 

Zaeed had stayed, but he and Shepard never spoke and Shepard had made Miranda pay Zaeed everything he’d been promised and keep a shuttle ready to let Zaeed leave when he chose too and she hadn’t taken him on any other missions. 

The newest addition to the crew was Subject Zero though Shepard refused to call her that and referred to her as Jack in everything she did, at first the two had been like wild cats, hissing and spitting at each other at every turn, name calling, unfair fights that both would start for no reason. 

And then, as if some kind of truce had been reached, the fights, the name calling, the insults and all the tension between Shepard and Jack stopped and faded away. Jack began to calm down and adjust to the Normandy, settling into the crew with relative ease though she rarely spoke to anyone besides Shepard, Garrus, Grunt or Nihlus and she only ever went to Chakwas when Shepard was there. 

Mordin, strangely, was working rapidly on the samples and tissues he was given, trying to uncover the secretes of the Collectors and while he and Jack rarely met one another, their interactions were polite and once, Jack had brought the Professor a very strong coffee to help him work. 

It was becoming quite the crew but it wasn’t complete and while he wanted her to have more support and structure to grow with, he had noticed she was slipping into a behaviour he hadn’t for seen. 

She was drinking heavily, her body was showing signs of exhortation but she refused to rest, something was bothering her and no matter what he thought of the progress she had made, it would be useless if she continued to abuse herself and drive herself to an early grave 

He couldn’t allow her to wither away, he had to give her back some fire and the best way to do that, he learned from watching her, was to threaten those she held dear and he knew just how to do that. 

He made sure to let slip some details on a lesser guarded channel in his next report, baiting the trap. 

Now he needed only to wait. 

~~~@~~~ 

~ “Commander, I’ll keep this brief.” ~ Hackett said as he fuzzed into view on her screen. ~ “We have a deep cover operative out in Batarian Space, Doctor Amanda Kenson.” ~ 

“Get to the point.” Shepard told him, inspecting her nails. 

Hackett paused and then nodded. ~ “Dr. Kenson reported recently that she found evidence of an Imminent Reaper Invasion.” ~ 

“Really? Wow, who’d have thought?” 

~ “Shepard.” ~ 

“Why call me for this Hackett? You, Udina, the Alliance and the Council pushed my work on the Reapers under every rug and into every hole you could find when you thought I was dead.” 

~ “Shepard please-” ~ 

“And.” She hissed, cutting him off. “The Alliance is doing nothing to help the colonists at risk of being taken by the Collectors, my crew was sent to hell and back to keep them quiet after I died. So tell me, why should I jump through hoops for you, when you’ve done nothing but ignore my warnings and work so far?” 

Hackett sighed. ~ “Shepard, they are holding her on Terrorism Changes on Aratoht, I’m asking you to get her out alone as a favour to me, not the Alliance. She found a Reaper artefact out there and she believes it is proof of their plan to invade, I need you to go in there alone.” ~ 

“Still not hearing why I should go do this for you when you did nothing for me.” Shepard said. 

~ “Shepard she’s a friend of mine from before I joined the Alliance.” ~ Hackett said, ~ “If she says she has proof, she can be trusted. If you can confirm her discovery, we’ll debrief you when you’re back and If this is true, if the Reapers are coming, I will do all I can to undo the wrongs we’ve done by you.” ~ 

“Yawn.” She told him, “I’ve spent the last few months running around to play clean up after the mess you’ve let happen. So from where I stand, you’ve got a lot of work to do before I trust your word again, Hackett. You and Anderson.” Shepard reminded and cut the link. 

“Commander?” Miranda asked. 

“What do you want Miranda?” She asked taking a long drink of her bottle. 

“Grunt and Garrus are ready to leave,” the dark haired woman said and side stepped as Shepard marched past her. 

Whatever was wrong, Miranda couldn’t think of any way to make it stop. 

~~~@~~~ 

“You need something human?” A Krogan asked as Shepard stepped up, Grunt to her left and Garrus to her right. 

“I need to speak with Clan Urdnot’s Leader.” She said calmly. 

“You will have to wait until he summons you.” The guard said and nodded behind him, stepping slightly back as Shepard moved to see around his larger form to see what was happening. A large green coloured Krogan was pacing back and forth before a large ‘throne’ of rubble where the Leader Shepard couldn’t clearly make out was seated, waving a hand this way and that as if in great distress of something. 

“He is, in talks.” The guard stated. 

“That looks a lot like someone else talking and the leader trying not to head butt him.” She said and the Guard tried not to smile with a toothy grin. “Something happen?” 

“Clan Uvenk is displeased with Clan Urdnot’s plans for reformations to our ways.” The guard explained. 

“Shepard!” A familiar voice called and Shepard turned from the guard to see Wrex shoving the green Krogan aside with one mighty shove. “My friend!” he added with a bellowing laugh as she caught his arm in a tight grip. “You look well for dead kid. Should have known the void couldn’t keep you.” 

“Yea, they didn’t have anything fun to do there.” She admitted, “I see you’ve done well for yourself,” she added nodding to the throne. “Clan leader now?” 

“Ha! You made that possible, Virmire was a turning point for the Krogan,” Wrex explained as the guards stepped back and allowed Garrus and Grunt to follow them to the raised throne. “Destroying the cure Saren was making freed us from his manipulations. I used that to spur the clans to unify under Urdnot and when I am done, we will be one people again.” 

“You abandon many old ways to get what you want.” The green Krogan snapped. “Dangerous, even for Urdnot.” 

Shepard smiled as Wrex turned and smashed his head into the other Krogan watching the green one fall to his knees. “Speak when spoken too Uvenk. I’ll drag your clan to glory weather it likes it or not.” He added and stepped up to his throne. “Now, what can I do for you Shepard?” 

“I got a new Krogan on my crew, Grunt and he’s ripping into the target drones and turning the lower decks into a war zone. As much as I enjoy playing tag with Garrus and Jack, he’s not burning the energy off and he’s getting snappy.” She explained and nodded to Grunt. “You’re the only Krogan I know who isn’t rude, smart mouthed or just basically insulting when asked a question, so how do I calm him down and not end up with a ship that looks like I had a bomb go off inside it?” she asked as Grunt stepped forwards. 

For a moment, Wrex looked over the smaller Krogan, studying him with careful eyes as Grunt stood still and firm under the elder’s gaze, waiting though Shepard could see the twitch of Grunts hands, he wanted to fight, but restrained himself to insure he didn’t bring shame to himself. 

“Where are you from, Whelp?” Wrex asked after a time, “Was your clan destroyed before you could learn what is expected of you?” 

“I have no clan.” Grunt stated. “I was tank-breed by Warlord Okeer, my line distilled from Kredak, Moro, Shiagur-” 

“You are the offspring of a syringe!” Uvenk snarled. 

“I am pure Krogan.” Grunt said calmly. “You should be in awe.” He added glaring at Uvank before returning his gaze to Wrex as the older Krogan shifted in his throne. 

“Okeer is an old name.” Wrex said, “And very hated.” He added standing from his seat. 

“He’s dead.” Grunt said simply. 

“Of cause.” Wrex nodded. “You’re with Shepard, how could he be alive? Tell me of your rage.” He then said. 

“I feel tense, the want to kill something with my hands comes out of no where and I feel the need to hurt everyone who threatens me or my kind, when I fight I focus but when I am still my head hazes and I feel confined, my blood screams and my plates itch to fight.” 

“Tell me this is just a phase and he’ll get over it.” Shepard said, “I need everyone up to speed and Liara will kill me if I show up with a sick Krogan.” 

“He isn’t sick, Shepard.” Wrex told her, “He is becoming a full adult.” 

“Adolescence?” Garrus asked then sighed, “Can’t we take him to Omega and buy him a few dancers?” he asked as Shepard gave him a look and Garrus shrugged. 

“Krogan don’t overcome their Blood desire to kill until they fore fill it and the only way to do that is to undergo the Rite of Passage.” Wrex stated. 

“Too far Wrex!” Uvenk snarled, “Your clan may rule but this thing is not Krogan!” he added as he stormed off. 

“Idiot.” Wrex huffed. “So, Grunt? Do you with to sand with Urdnot?” he asked. 

“This is his choice, but what does the Rite involve?” Shepard asked as Grunt stepped back and looked over the camp, thinking. 

“It’s not for me to say,” Wrex said, “The Sharman will discuss that. But if he doesn’t undergo the rite and stays here, he will be killed.” Wrex stated. “Clanless are not respected, a tank-bred more so than most. His disposition is what it is, rite or no, that’s just him, being Krogan. Okeer didn’t tell you that in the tank, did he boy?” he added looking at Grunt as he came back over. 

“It is in my blood. It is what I am for,” Grunt stated. 

“Good boy.” Wrex smiled and pointed to the steps a few feet away. “Speak to the shaman, give him a good show and he will set you on the path.” 

“Thank you Wrex.” Shepard smiled. 

“You too Shepard. How many times have you stepped in a mess for your crew, hmm?” Wrex asked as he returned to his throne. “Give Liara my best when you see her but this old Krogan has duties here now that can’t be ignored.” 

“I’ll do that,” She nodded and turned to leave the raised platform, with Grunt close behind. 

“Still chasing her Vakarian?” Wrex asked as Garrus passed him. 

“If you want that crate of brandy I owe you, you’ll hush.” Garrus stated though quickly caught up to Shepard as Wrex laughed loudly behind him. 

“What made him so happy?” She asked as they climbed the stairs. 

“Nothing.” Garrus said quickly and Grunt smirked as they reached the Shaman, hearing Uvenk cursing a storm. 

“You go beyond yourself Gatatog Uvenk. The Rites of Urdnot are dominant!” the shaman snarled. 

“He’s unnatural! How do we know it will Challenge him? The beasts of the Rite could ignore him like a lump of plastic!” 

“They know blood, no matter the womb.” The shaman remarked. “Your barking does not help your case.” He added then paused to look at Shepard as she and Grunt approached him and before anyone could speak, he stepped closer to Grunt who stood his ground once again as he was studied. “This is the Tank-bred? It is very lifelike and smells correct as well. Your protest ring hollow Uvenk.” 

“Are all Krogan in Uvenk so easily made jealous of new Krogan or is it just you?” Shepard snipped in then turned to the Shaman. “I don’t care what this idiot says, Grunt has the right to be here.” 

The shaman laughed. “Now there is some fire and from an alien child.” He said and then at her confused look he explained, “Krogan live many centuries and while I show little sign of my age, I have lived long enough to know that you are but a child in our ranks.” 

“If this must stand on ritual I invoke denial.” Uvenk snarled, “My Krantt stands against him. He has no one!” 

“You test my patience,” The shaman growled. “But Uvenk invokes correctly. Without allies to die on his behalf I cannot allow Grunt to take the Rite.” 

“Do I look like I came to sit on the side lines and look pretty?” Shepard asked. “I stand with Grunt and if you don’t stop playing word games I’ll shoot your myself and give Wrex one less headache to deal with.” 

“Spoken well child!” The shaman praised extending his arms in what Shepard had learnt from Wrex was joy. “Most Aliens and some Krogan do not understand our ways, but I see that you do.” He smiled. 

“Aliens don’t know strength!” Uvenk snarled. “My followers are true Krogan! Everything about Grunt is a- argh!” Many Krogan turned at the sound and watched in shock as Shepard’s head smacked into Uvenk’s and the Krogan again hit the ground though this time, it was more from his own surprise then the strength of Shepard’s head-but. 

Garrus saw Grunt’s face light up in a grin and heard several Krogan growling in frustration as they handed over their winnings to sniggering clan mates. “You… You dare…” Uvenk hissed getting back up. 

The shaman laughed loudly and nodded. “I like this Human! She understands!” he praised as Uvenk as his men left his area. “You have provoked them, reason enough for me to like you more than Wrex’s stories have lead me to already.” 

“He going to be a problem?” She asked. 

“He is forbidden to interfere with the Rite of Passage, but you must be ready for anything child. To begin only the candidate and his Krantt are required, bring your love of battle to Grunt’s trial and he will succeed.” 

“So, what does this Rite involve?” Garrus asked. “Besides impressing you of course.” 

The shaman smirked. “Know that Grunt will be tested, you and the child need only adapt.” 

“Then let’s go do this.” Shepard stated and the shaman nodded, leading them down to the vehicle bay. 

Wrex watched them leave and then looked down to the guards. “Ready the video feeds, I want everyone to see this.” 

“Yes Sir.” 

“So, we just go in there and help Grunt?” Garrus asked loading his weapons as they drove towards their destination. 

“Basically.” Shepard nodded. “And when we finish one thing, we press the key stone and see what happens next.” 

“Sounds fun.” Garrus nodded. “And exactly like something Wrex would do just for laughs.” He added. 

Shepard chuckled, “As I recall, he holds the record for most fun things to do that could kill you by Chakwas’s book.” 

“Jury is still out of that one.” Garrus stated, “You did kill a Thresher Maw on Akuze and Wrex hasn’t admitted to doing something that could top that yet.” 

“I didn’t kill it,” Shepard sighed, “Jade did.” 

“Ah. My mistake.” Garrus nodded. 

“We’re here.” The shaman stated and lead them up to the platform where they could see the ruins of a great city. 

“What will happen?” Grunt asked. 

“Who knows?” the shaman asked back, “You must adapt and thrive, no matter the situation as any true Krogan will. Three strikes of the Keystone must pass before you are released from here, the Rite of Passage demands that you contemplate the trials and the Key stone before you join Clan Urdnot.” 

“And you’ll be here to let us out when that is done.” Shepard said. 

“I will Child.” He nodded. “Now go, hunt well.” He added. 

Shepard nodded and let Grunt take the lead as they moved towards the key stone, checking every place she saw for any good hiding hole to take cover, pausing when she saw something in the distance that seemed to move with the wind for a moment. 

She pushed the dread down in her stomach and let Grunt take a moment collect himself an Garrus to settle himself in cover before she hit the Key Stone, listening to the recorded message before the ground shook and trembled with some force it almost knocked her off her feet as Varren flooded the area. 

“Here we go!” 

~~~@~~~ 

“The Admiral is calling again.” Joker stated. “Insists on talking with you, Doc.” 

“Patch him through.” Chakwas sighed. “And record this,” She added. 

“Aye ma’am.” He said and with a few key strokes, Hackett appeared on the screen and Chakwas silenced him with one hard glare. 

“Commander Marie Jane Shepard is currently assisting in a Rite of Passage for Grunt and will not be taking any calls from you or anyone else until she returns and even then, she will not be making errant runs for you or Anderson, or any one up on the Citadel until such time as you, Anderson, Udina and the Councillors to suck up your fool’s prides, and apologize to Shepard for the bull shit you’ve put her through.” 

~ “Doctor Chakwas.” ~ 

“Of these conditions are not meet by the end of the next earth day, I will have no choice but to go to the Media myself and tell them everything.” Chakwas stated coldly and glanced to Joker. “You have been warned.” 

The comm feed cut off. 

“Is it wise to threaten them, Doctor Chakwas?” EDI asked from her place. “to go public with the truth about Shepard may cause panic and fear to spread and that may have advise effects.” 

“The Councillors and the Alliance have been allowed to ruin too much of Shepard’s already fragile stability for long enough,” Chakwas said, “They played games when she warned them about Saren and now they are doing the same thing again and I will not see Shepard go through another hell like that again.” 

“I do not understand.” EDI said. 

“What the good Doctor means is that that the Councillors and Alliance both want to keep panic and fear at a low, and they maintain that by lying about what Shepard is doing or just plain ignoring her work.” Kasumi explained helpfully, “What Doctor Chakwas is threatening to do will, in effect, give them a taste of their own ways, and make then uncomfortable, like the way they’ve made Shepard feel. If they want to make that feeling stop, they will have to be nice and say sorry to Shepard, or Chakwas will do as she said and make the whole Galaxy see the truth.” 

“Such actions could have ill effect on Doctor Chakwas as well.” EDI said. 

Joker shook his head. “No one, not even the Councillors would dare go toe to toe with Chakwas, she may be an old Lady in a medical uniform, but she’s got the knowledge and skill to kill people in seconds.” 

EDI was quiet for a time, calculating and rethinking the situation for a moment or two. “I still do not understand something.” She admitted. “Why is Doctor Chakwas so protective of the Commander?” 

“Call it a mother’s love.” Kasumi smiled. “That old Doctor has a look about her when she works on Shepard, and I would not want to be in the way of her if Shepard was really hurt one day.” 

~~~@~~~ 

Wrex lightly drummed his fingers over the arm rest of his throne, fully aware that he was not the only one watching the screen as Shepard and her team mates cut down Varren with ease, and then triggered the Key Stone again. 

“The Keystone is hitting harder than I recall.” He stated after the hammer hit the ground. And had his guards look over past rites to check his words. 

“Someone has tampered with our Rite!” one of his guards snarled in fury. “The Keystone shouldn’t reach so high!” 

“Shepard can handle anything that’s out there. But when this is over, I want that area checked for squatters and make sure that the Keystone is not tampered with again.” Wrex ordered. 

“Sir, one of the maws has been sighted!” another guard yelled, “Its heading right for them!” 

~~~@~~~ 

“I hate fire breathing bug!” Shepard snarled kicking the dead big harshly, “Damn thing charred my hair!” 

“You sure you aren’t part Krogan?” Grunt yelled out taking one last shot at another of the bugs. “Because you damn well act like one when your pissed.” 

“I checked with Chakwas I’m pure human.” She said as she approached the Key Stone again. “Ready?” 

“Yes.” Grunt nodded. 

Shepard nodded and pushed the Key Stone in listening to the message before the hammer struck the ground and made everything shake more. “Shit that’s a lot of force.” She said. 

She heard it then, the sound that haunted her nightmares and left her screaming in to the darkness so long ago as the ground rocked and rumbled around them, shifting with force only one creature could have. 

“What is that?” Grunt asked. 

“That’s…” Shepard said then ducked as the surface broke open and released the beast beneath. “Thresher Maw!!!!” 

“Oh no." Garrus snarled and pulled Shepard into cover as rocks and debris rained down on them from the outside area, thrown from their place by the huge head of a Thresher Maw. “Commander?” 

“Grenades, armour piecing rounds, rockets- Anything that makes a big impact! Aim for its face and mouth!” She yelled. “Don’t let it get close to you Grunt! They spit acid and never misses!” 

“Finally!” Grunt laughed, “Something worthy of a fight!” 

“Are you ok?” Garrus asked her. 

“It’s not as big as the ones on Akuze,” She admitted with a shake of her head, “but I’ll still be a lot better when its dead.” Shepard assured, though Garrus could see the fear in her eyes as she dared to peek at the monster and fire at it rapidly. “And we are FAR away from it!” 

“Got it!” he nodded, readying his shots and taking them with care before ducking back behind cover, watching Shepard do the same as Grunt pushed his way forwards, using his Shot guns to hit the Maw’s face when it cared to come too close. 

“Don’t jump down Grunt!” She yelled at Grunt, “Maws feel movement on soft earth! It’ll eat you whole!” She added then snatched up the rocket launcher she had on her back and aimed it at the Maw’s face, though doing so left her out in the open. 

“Shepard!?” 

“No more nightmares.” She hissed and squeezed the trigger, watching the maw rear back in agony as the beam connected, leaving the Maw open to Grunt and Garrus’s attacks. 

Wrex smiled a toothy grin as the Maw went down and failed to move again. “Well faced Shepard, well faced.” 

~~~@~~~ 

Chakwas sighed as she watched Garrus and Grunt help Shepard walk through the air lock and then as Shepard walked right past her and vanished into the lift heading to her room. “Garrus.” 

“Yes ma’am?” 

“Make her shower and sleep.” 

“Yes Ma’am.” Garrus nodded heading for the lift himself, preparing for the worsted as he reached the loft and paused by the door of her quarters, he heard the toilet flushing and knew Shepard wasn’t in a good way. 

He couldn’t stand seeing her like this, running herself out to help everyone on her crew. She’d finished helping Kasumi and then, without missing a beat, she’d helped him track down a lose end that needed tying off from his time on Omega, he was still searching for any clue that would lead him to Fade, but thanks to Shepard he was closer to finding that person, then she’d gone off to help Jack face her old nightmares of her childhood and blown up a Cerberus facility, then helped Jacob with finding his father. 

Then, before he could suggest that they take a break, she had brought them to Tuchanka and helped Mordin find an old student of his who had been ‘kidnapped’ only to find out he was working on a means to cue the Genophage but not treating the female Krogan in his camp well at all, and now, she had finished helping Grunt with his Rite, she would be looking for the next big mission. 

Garrus knew she needed sleep and rest, no matter how much she denied it he could see it, she was starting to stumble and stagger around, clearly on her last legs and about ready to collapse from exhaustion but refusing to let herself rest or stop, drinking Moonshine, Coffee and taking caffeine pills to keep herself going but it was catching up quickly. He’d seen it in other humans when he’d worked at C-Sec, trying to keep up with Turians only to fail and be put on a medical leave to recover. 

Garrus knew that she would crash soon and she would crash hard. 

She was on her knees half hidden behind the bathroom door, her body shaking violently as her body forced the contents of her stomach back out of her body the way it had come in. 

“Shepard?” He asked. 

“I’m ok.” She breathed, though in the next instant she was bent over throwing up again. “I’m fine Garrus, really. I’m fine.” 

“No, you’re not.” Garrus said and knelt beside her, gently rubbed her back and shoulders, holding her hair out of her face as she continued to regurgitate her stomach contents, giving off a soft growling sound form his chest to try and sooth her as she trembled and shook violently. 

After a while, it stopped and she attempted to stand up, though her knees were shaking and she stumbled when she let go of the sink, falling into Garrus’s arms as he moved to catch her. “Shepard, you have to stop.” 

“I’m fine Garrus.” She tried to say to him as she stood up, only to stagger again and this time Garrus didn’t let go. “Garrus? What are you doing?” She asked as he set the shower going. 

“You need to wash and sleep.” He said. “Chakwas’s orders.” 

“No, I… I have to go see Mordin about the research.” She tried to argue. “The Genophage-” 

“Can wait until you have rested,” Garrus told her firmly, keeping his grip firm on her as she tried to wiggle free, “you need to stop before you collapse or worse.” He added searching the bathroom shelves for the creams he knew he was going to need. 

“I’m fine.” She said weakly, though she didn’t fight him and when her body refused to listen and she huffed, “At least let me undress?” 

Garrus gently let her go and busied himself with his search as she removed her armour, wincing and hissing as she peeled the under-suit she wore from where the skin was raw from rubbing against the armour and under suit for so long. “Ow…” 

Sweat and the scent of whatever it was Shepard had been using to try and mask the sweat reached Garrus’s nose and he sighed softly, handing her a cloth as she shakily moved into eth shower spray, he stepped outside to give her some privacy as he found her some clean night ware, a pair of baggy shorts and a large t-shirt, and neatly set them on the toilet for her. 

She would make the odd pained hiss and whimper now and then, but eventually she stepped out of the shower and dried off before slipping into her night wear, using a second towel to rub her hair dry, Garrus smiled and nodded, holding up the tub of cream. 

“Chakwas tell you to baby sit me too?” She asked though he was the relief in her eyes as she spoke. 

“She told me to make you shower and sleep, and you can’t sleep if you aren’t comfortable.” Since you can’t do work outs, your skin is sore it makes sense that you’d use this to help sooth the pain away and then you can at least lay down and pretend to sleep, that way Chakwas doesn’t skin me alive.” He admitted. 

She sighed and nodded, handing him the towel she’d used to dry her hair and took the tub of cream, carefully applying a thin layer to her face, neck and shoulders before letting Garrus apply more to her back while she rubbed a layer into her legs and feet softly. 

She yawned and Garrus smiled, lightly pulling the blanket over her as she lay down, just as he finished tucking her in and moved to stand up, her hand shot out and grabbed his wrist in a deadly tight grip. “No!” 

“Shep-?” Garrus began only to stop as he saw the look on her face. “Shepard what’s wrong?” he asked, seeing the fear deep in her eyes. 

“Please, don’t leave me.” She pleaded after a silence that seemed to last forever and it was only the fact that she was holding his wrist that Garrus realized she was shaking, “please Garrus, don’t leave me alone.” 

His mouth moved as if to speak, but no sound came out as he watched her, the fear of being alone never seemed to scare Shepard before not even when she was facing Saren. 

“Why?” he managed to at last say. 

Shepard shook her head. “I don’t want to be alone… not tonight…” she said and Garrus took a moment to think before it hit him. 

“You’re worried about the nightmares of Akuze.” He said and then shook his head, lightly prying her hand from his wrist as her eyes widened, worried he would leave her until the fear turned to confusion as he sat beside her on the bed still lightly holding her hand in his. “I’m not going to leave you alone Shepard,” He assured softly. “I’m going to be here until this mess is over and then when we have proven that the Collectors have been working with the Reapers, I will still be here helping you.” He continued gently using his free hand to push her back down into the bed again. “I’m not leaving you to fight this alone.” 

Something about what he said seemed to calm her but there was still doubt in her eyes and Garrus guessed that was because so many people close to her had doubts and were turning their backs on her despite her efforts to keep them close. 

“What can I do to help you sleep?” He asked. 

She looked at him with a weak but honest smile, the first he’d seen in a long time then shifted back in the bed, lightly tugging him closer. “Stay with me a while?” She said, “Just… Just knowing someone’s here, knowing I’m not alone, maybe the nightmares will leave me be for the night.” 

Garrus nodded and stood up again, removing the heavier armour he wore and taking off his visor and placed it on the bed side table beside a glass of water, he laid beside her with one arm around her waist and the other lightly over her shoulders, talons lightly playing with her hair as her eyes began to flutter closed, though she tried to keep them open, still scared that he may not be there if she did fall asleep. 

“Go to sleep Marie,” He said using her first name as a soft growling purr in his chest lightly vibrated his chest plates. “I’m not going anywhere.” He added. 

Slowly her eyes closed again and soon her breathing became deep and steady, proving she was asleep and Garrus comfortable in his place dozed for a few hours, waking every time she shifted in her sleep, sometimes it was just a twitch of her hands clutching tightly at his hide for a few moments as if something in her sleep scared her before relaxing again assured that he was there and sometimes, she would mumble or whine in her sleep, fingers twitching as if squeezing the trigger of a gun. 

Eventually, lulled by the soft breathing from Shepard and his own tiredness, Garrus fell into a deeper sleep, faintly aware that he’d left some of his calibrations on hold, but truthfully, he could do those any time. 

He woke feeling Shepard move at his side, stirring as she was drawn from the embrace of sleep, her movements stiff but there was strength to her limbs now and colour to her skin again. She’d moved closer to him as the night progressed, resting her head on his chest plates seeking warmth and he moved to accommodate her, laying on his back with his arm still around her, trimmed talons lightly tangled in her hair as his free hand came to rest over her arm as she held him. 

“Garrus?” She asked with some confusion in her voice, as she looked around the room, realizing that he hadn’t left her. “You stayed even after I fell asleep?” she added, relief flooding her voice. 

“I told you I wouldn’t leave you.” Garrus smiled, “And I will tell you again, over and over until you get over this phase you’re stuck in.” He added lightly brushing her hair out of her face, then as if realizing he hadn’t been permitted to do that, he pulled his hand back. “I’m not going anywhere Marie, no matter what anyone says or does, I will never leave you to go into hell alone.” 

Marie smiled as small tears gathered at the edges of her eyes, then before Garrus could stop her or before she could stop herself, she embraced him tightly. “Thank you Garrus.” She said, feeling his arms wrap around her back and hold her in return. 

“Mr. Vakarian.” EDI said calmly from the door panel. “Doctor Chakwas has asked that I remind you of your appointment with her for a follow up of your facial scaring.” 

“Thank you, EDI.” Garrus sighed and smiled, he would never admit that Commander Shepard growled like a Turian at the interruption, or that she threw a pillow at the terminal. “Are you feeling better now?” He asked. 

“I’ll be better when we have completed this mission,” She admitted, “They maybe I can retire, find a nice little house by the beach and enjoy some normality to life.” 

“Nice dream.” He said. “I’ll be in the Main Batteries if you need me for anything. If Chakwas doesn’t lock me in medical bay.” He added as he redressed. 

Shepard smiled. “I’ll come by if need you.” She promised watching him leave and sighed, dressing herself in clean clothes and putting her hair up in a bun for the day before she tapped at the terminal keys and leant back against the table as the channels connected. 

~ “Commander.” ~


	2. Chapter 2. Twice bitten

Chapter 2.   
Twice Bitten. 

Rescuing Doctor Kenson proved to be easier that she’d thought it would be, she was in and out of the prison in less than an hour, with Dr. Kenson and now, she was on her way to the Base of operations with the doctor to see the Artefact for herself and decide what to do about the plan to ram a small planet into the Mass Relay. 

She’d removed her helmet so the feed had fuzzed a little for a short time but as she followed Kenson, Garrus felt unease, something nagging in the back of his mind that wouldn’t go away and only got worse the longer Doctor Kenson spoke. 

“Shepard’s got to know something is wrong…” Jack said at last breaking the tense silence, “Something’s not right with her story.” 

“We can’t judge until we see proof.” Nihlus said though there was a deep growl to his chest. 

“She’ll be alright.” Chakwas tried to sound sure as she spoke, though she was pacing back and forth, “She’s a big girl, she’ll be alright, she can look after herself…” 

“Shh, look.” Jack said as the screen fuzzed again and they watched Shepard step off the shuttle. 

~~~@~~~ 

“What’s with the clock?” Shepard asked looking at the large digital clock above the door reading, 02:03:25 and slowly ticking down the seconds as they passed under it and began their way to the main lab. 

“That’s our countdown to Arrival.” Kenson explained, “Puts things in perspective, doesn’t it? When that gets to Zero, the Reapers will have come. We have two days and counting.” 

“How do you know its accurate?” Shepard asked. 

“The Artefact has been giving off pulse at definite intervals since we found it, they have been decreasing at a steady rate, we believe in response to the Reaper’s proximity.” Kenson told her. 

“So we have two days, the Reapers will be at Earth?” Shepard asked, as they reached a door that was locked. “Show me this proof.” 

“Give me a moment to get the door.” Kenson said and the door unlocked and opened to show a large black object with blue light from within. “Commander Shepard, I give you Object Rho.” Kenson smiled proudly. 

“You have this thing out in the open? Nothing to dampen its effects?” Shepard demanded, “What were you thinking?” 

“Give it a moment,” Kenson said, “It’ll give you the proof you need.” She added stepping back as Shepard felt a familiar tug at her body and winced, feeling that old, painful tug at her body from the Prothean beacon on Eden Prime and managed to take a breath as the wave smashed into her flooding her mind with the images of eyes watching her and then countless Reapers approaching the Mass Relay. 

Then someone else, a familiar face right in front of her for just a second. “Jade?” Shepard asked only to have Kenson aim a gun at her head. 

“I can’t let you start the Project Shepard. I can’t let you stop their arrival.” Kenson stated. 

~ “Get up Sheps! Get up! And Fight!!” ~ A voice ordered firmly and Shepard realized the room was flooding with guards. 

Shepard acted, grabbing Kenson’s arm and swiftly twisting it harshly at the elbow, making her drop the gun before shots started to bounce off her armour. “Take her down!” Kenson ordered as she staggered back out of the room, locking the door behind her. 

“Damn it!” Shepard snarled, and took what cover she could behind Object Rho, “This is not what I signed on for!!” 

~~~@~~~ 

“We shouldn’t have let her go alone!” Jack snarled. 

“Can’t we get down there and help!?” Zaeed demanded of Joker. 

“I’m trying, I can’t find the location, they’ve scrambled everything!” Joker said as he and EDI worked to try and find the base. 

“That thing’s doing something to her.” Chakwas said watching Shepard stagger into new cover. “She’s losing focus.” 

“It’s hitting her mentally,” Miranda said from her place, rapidly typing into the system to monitor Shepard’s vitals, “Its forcing her to fight two battles at once.” 

“She’s hurt!” Kasumi gasped as the feed caught Shepard’s agonized howl from a well-placed shot to the back that threw her into Object Rho and a shock-wave slammed her into the far wall. 

“Get up Shepard!” Chakwas pleaded, “Get up!” 

“She gotta get out of there.” Jack hissed, her biotics crackling up and down her arms and legs as she watched Shepard go down again, “Come on Shepard!” 

~~~@~~~ 

“Shit…” Shepard hissed trying to force herself back up, only to fall as her libs refused to obey her commands, “Fuck...” 

Someone was stood over her and she hissed, forcing her head up to see who it was, only to see Kenson’s eyes glowing yellow as she crotched next to her. 

“Take her to the med-bay and patch her up.” The doctor ordered as several guards heaved her up from the ground. “We want Shepard alive.” 

“Fuck you.” She hissed before her world went dark. 

~~~@~~~ 

“She’s WHAT!?” Hackett demanded. 

~ “You either tell us the whole damn truth about this bitch and her deep cover operation, or so help me I’m uploading this to every damn channel I find in the system and then you and the Alliance are going to be in for one hell of a shit storm.” ~ Chakwas snarled over the commlinks. ~ “I did not spend my time keeping her sane just so you can throw her out to die like some used up trash bag!” ~ 

“This can’t be true! it has to be faked.” Udina snarled. 

~ “Do I look like I am joking to you?” ~ Chakwas said coldly. ~ “You sent her to get your friend out and now she’s running out of time to save us from an invasion. Now you either send a waring out to the Batarians and save thousands of lives or I will upload this file and expose everything you’ve tried to keep hidden.” ~ 

“Is she alive?” Anderson asked, “is Shepard still alive?” 

~ “She is, but if you don’t act now, she will die!” ~ Someone snarled and Chakwas turned away to hush the speaker. 

“We’ll contact the Batarians, beyond that we can’t do anything more.” Hackett said, “I’m on my way to you now. Please, contact me the minute something changes.” He added and hurried towards his ship. 

~~~@~~~ 

“You have to evacuate now! Damn it! This isn’t a joke!” Jacob snarled, “It’s a real threat, when the relay opens everyone here will die if the Asteroid doesn’t hit it first!” 

~ “You Humans have no place to tell us what to do.” ~ the Batarian huffed and cut the commlinks. 

“Damn it! They aren’t listening!” he growled. “Any luck?” he asked Nihlus. 

“No.” Nihlus sighed. “They’re stuck in their ways.” 

“She’s responding to something.” Miranda said from her place. “Look, mental responses, she’s aware of something.” 

“Come on Shepard, get up.” Kasumi pleaded watching the brain waves start to increase. 

“Is she waking up?” Jack asked. 

“No.” Chakwas shook her head. “She’s dreaming. Hackett’s on his way and signals are going around to the Batarians. Any luck finding her?” 

“Nothing yet.” Joker snarled in frustration. “Come on Shepard… where are you?” 

“Where is Garrus?” Jack suddenly asked as she realized Garrus and Nihlus were missing. 

Down in the shuttle bay, Garrus was setting up a shuttle to leave and find Shepard alone, only to stop as a cane prodded the back of his neck. “You’ll never find her alone.” 

“She should never have gone out there alone.” Garrus snapped. “I should have gone with her.” 

“We’re of more use to her here,” Nihlus reminded, removing his cane from Garrus’s neck and moving to a terminal nearby. “Where she knows we are safe, if this is all true, then you’re only going to get lost out there and we have no time to play hunt the Vakarian again.” 

“She’s alone out there Nihlus, I can’t just sit and do nothing!” 

“Then help me with this.” Nihlus said as he typed rapidly into the terminal. 

“What are you doing?” he asked. 

“Something that will wake her up.” Nihlus assured, setting the small sound bite to play on repeat as he scanned the channels. 

~~~@~~~ 

She was in a world of blackness, surrounded by flicker images of Reapers, Geth, Husks, Collectors and things she had seen before. The fall of the Protheans in their time, the visions of what they had suffered at the hands of the Reapers and their worlds destroyed. 

The incoming Reapers that loomed only hours away from Earth. The glowing eyes of the Collectors she had faced on Horizon. The voices and sensations of the darkness she’d spend between thee ship being destroyed and waking up on a Cerberus table. 

Over and over again she saw it, like a looped video trying to mask the time as she lay trapped in this void darkness. 

She wasn’t unaware. 

She watched as the images passed her eyes over and over again, twisting this way and that. Searching for whatever it was that was hiding from her, whatever it was she needed to see that was lost in this mess of images, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings. 

Loss. Despair. Betrayal. Longing. Desire. Justification. Survival. Guilt. Fear. Anger. Gluttony. Love. All of it slammed into her, over and over again, in a unending pattern of random feelings and emotions that left her reeling, and feeling ready to vomit. 

Only for it all to suddenly stop and she found herself surrounded by faint familiar music, a melody that stirred her even in her deepest sleeps, that brought her from the edge of insanity so many times because it meant so much to her. 

~~~@~~~ 

“Auld Lang Syne?” Miranda asked as the music played over the speakers. 

“Shepard could never ignore this song.” Chakwas smiled. “Nihlus.” 

“Admiral Hackett has just arrived.” EDI spoke up. 

“I’ll deal with him,” Chakwas stated. “The rest of you keep an eye and ear out for our Commander and be ready to get us out of here.” 

“Got it.” Joker nodded. 

“She’s awake!” Jack yelled, “Her camera’s moving again!” 

“How long do we have?” Kasumi asked as Shepard re-armoured herself and gave the camera a slight wave. 

“One hour and fifty-five minutes.” Jack said. “She’s not holding back.” She added as Shepard began to move through the rooms, shooting everyone without pause or giving them chance to respond, ducking and moving between cover as if she had done this a thousand times before. 

“She’s up?” Garrus asked as she came over. 

“And moving.” Jack nodded, smiling as a frag grenade was kicked back at the oncoming guards as Shepard continued to move rapidly though the rooms. 

“Is she… yes she’s singing.” Kasumi said after a while. “Listen.” 

~ “For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne. We’ll tak a cup, o’kindness yet, for days of auld lang syne.” There was a pause as Shepard ducked under a shot and firing her pistol into the head of the shooter, she began the song over again. “Should old acquaintance be forgot and ne’er brought to mine. Should old acquaintance be forgot, in days of auld lang syne.” ~ 

~~~@~~~ 

Shepard paused her singing as she reached the controls and spotted a VI terminal. “Activate project.” She stated. 

“Warning. Activation of project at present would result in and estimated three hundred and five thousand casualties.” The VI stated. “Do you wish to continue?” 

“Activate project now!” Shepard snarled. 

The building shook violently and Shepard watched out the window as the huge thrusters on the asteroid flared to life. “Project activation in progress. Collision with Mass Relay is imminent. Please begin evacuation procedures.” 

Shepard reached to her commlink. “Alert! All Colonists living in the Bahak System, Evacuate immediately. I repeat Evacu-” 

~ “Do you have any idea what you have done!?” ~ Kenson snarled and Shepard threw her commlink down. ~ “Because of you everyone on this rock will be obliterated! This Asteroid will be destroyed!” ~ 

“Where is Doctor Kenson?” Shepard demanded of the VI. 

“Doctor Kenson is making her way to the reactor core.” The VI told her and created an image of the bases map for Shepard with a direct route to the Reactor. “Alert, cooling systems off line. Reactor Temperature destabilizing.” 

~ “You can’t stop me Shepard!” ~ 

“Wanna bet?” Shepard asked, reloading her gun before heading towards the Reactor, following the direction from the VI and taking out any guard that dared to stand in her way, pushing the cooling rods back into place as she passed them to reach the core. 

Kenson was there, frantically trying to stop the engines. “You’ve ruined everything!” She snared. “I can’t hear the whispers anymore.” 

“Step back.” Shepard snapped at her, levelling her pistol with the woman’s head. “I won’t ask you again.” 

“You’ve taken them away from me, I will never see the Reapers’ arrival! All you had to do was stay asleep! None of this would have happen-” 

Shepard squeezed the trigger, watching the woman’s body hit the floor. Only to have a small device catch her eye as she stepped back to get behind cover a second too late and was thrown into the wall with a harsh slam that knocked the wind from her lungs, leaving her struggling to breath as she felt pain ripped through her body. 

“Warning, collision imminent. All personal please report to escape shuttle.” The VI stated. 

“Shit… Where are the escape shuttles?” She asked, pulling herself up. 

“Take the lift from this room to the external access, from there, proceed to communications tower.” The VI stated and again, brought up a map for Shepard to see her path. “Escape shuttles are located on the tower’s landing pad.” 

“Thank you.” Shepard winced and hurried to the lift, leaning against the wall of the lift as she pulled shrapnel from her armour. 

~~~@~~~ 

“EDI, mark those escape shuttles for later!” Miranda yelled, “I those people are indoctrinated like Kenson we can’t let them slip away!” 

“Understood Miss Lawson.” 

“Strap in tight!” Nihlus yelled helping to fasten Doc Chakwas in to her seat while Hackett pulled his own harness tighter. 

“I almost miss this.” He admitted. 

“Shame you handed in your wings.” Chakwas told him. 

“Hang on, we’re coming up on the base, its gonna get shaky!” Joker warned as the ship began to rattle and shake violently. 

“Where is she?” Garrus yelled, “She’s not on radar!” 

“We need a comm signal to pin point her.” Jacob answered. 

~ “Shepard to Normandy! Damn it! Joker?! EDI?! Someone answer me up there!” ~ 

“We got you Commander we’re coming!” Joker answered as he swung the ship towards the fast-moving asteroid. 

~~~@~~~ 

~ “Shepard.” ~ 

Shepard turned and looked at the image that appeared before her, it was as large a the holo image of Sovereign she’d seen on Virmire, but the shape was different and moved more frequently then the Reaper had. 

~ “You have become an annoyance.” ~ 

“Glad to know I piss you off as much as I did Sovereign.” She told it. 

~ “This seems a victory to you. You fight against inevitability like dust struggling in cosmic winds, but you have accomplished nothing by sacrificing a star system.” ~ the Collector told her. ~ “Your greatest civilizations are doomed to fall; your leaders will beg to be harvested. Just as the Protheans did.” ~ 

“Maybe.” Shepard stated. “But for every one that falls willingly to you, thousands more will fight you regardless of your promises. We defeated Sovereign at the cost of many lives, but they still came when the fight called for them, just like we are now. However insignificant we might be to you and the Reapers we will fight you and we will find a way to stop you. That is what we do.” 

The collector General seemed to ponder that for a moment before speaking again. ~ “Know this as you die in vain. Your species will fall when your time comes. Prepare yourself for the Arrival.” ~ It added and then faded out of view. 

“Shepard!” She looked up as the Normandy flew into view and smiled seeing Nihlus stood at the docking bay door, waiting for her. 

“About time!” She yelled and ran towards the edge of the plat form. 

“Jump!” Nihlus yelled just as the edge vanished under her feet and she threw herself into the Normandy. 

She didn’t stop running when her feet hit the floor off the Normandy and instead grabbed the back of Joker’s seat. “Get us out of here!” 

“Hold on.” Joker nodded as they raced towards the Relay, the asteroid hot on their thrusters. 

Shepard pushed Miranda and Jacob out of her way, ignoring Chakwas’s attempt to fuss her as she all but bounced up the steps to the Galaxy map, “EDI tell me the Batarians got my message and got out.” She said and waited for the AI to answer, watching the Star System rapidly disappear into the blast wave of the Mass relay’s explosion. “EDI?” 

“I am unsure how to answer.” EDI said after a long pause “It is not in my programming to lie Commander, but your request is one that must be answered.” 

“Did they get out?!” 

“None of the Batarians got out.” Miranda stated as she moved to Shepard’s side, “We tried to warn them but, they wouldn’t listen.” 

“DAMN IT!” Shepard snarled and slammed her fists into the railing with enough force to dent the bar. 

“Shepard!?” she heard Chakwas cry as her eyes fluttered and her body suddenly went numb.   
~~~@~~~ 

The Batarians were out for blood. They wanted the humans to pay for what was done and while Sparatus would have gladly given them the Humans, he couldn’t. He had seen the reports and the video feed Shepard had been relaying to her crew and the countless messages, in text, voice, e-mail and even Morse Code to warn the Batarians to Evacuate. 

All of them ignored. 

“They were given ample warning of what was happening.” Anderson stated calmly as the four of them listened to the replaying warning messages both the Alliance and the Normandy that had been sent to Batarians of the Bahak system and the other races that lived in that area of the Galaxy. “They were told it was a real threat and chose to ignore it, even when the threat became imminently clear, this does not make us responsible for their own ignorance and failure to act.” 

“The Council will not hand over Commander Shepard to the Batarians, if that is what worries you.” Valern assured. “She and her crew did what they could and more to try and help the Batarians in the Bahak system.” 

“And I have no doubt we will all face some form of retribution from her for allowing this threat to come so close.” Tevos sighed sadly. “How could we become so blind?” 

“We had no proof.” Sparatus reminded. 

“You saw what happened, you witnessed the events of the Citadel’s fall and you, like everyone else have chosen to shove the thoughts that something a Human said could be real under the rugs as soon as she was gone.” Anderson snarled. “If you can’t accept that this is real and happening then maybe you should step down as Councillor for the Turians and let someone who will listen to reason step up!” 

“I will not take orders from a Human!” Sparatus snarled back as both men rose from their seats. 

“Enough!” Tevos snapped at both of them and the two males reluctantly sat down again. “We cannot continue to ignore the Reaper or Collector threat and we cannot continue to argue amongst ourselves.” 

“Then what do you suggest?” Valern asked. 

“Its time we start following Shepard’s advice.” Tevos said, “We start to relocate the smaller colonies, all of them must be brought to the larger planets and safety, improve security and maximize resources.” 

“We have no time!” Sparatus snarled. “We used us the last of our stocks to rebuild and repair the damages from Saren’s attacks, we are barely surviving as it is, if we start pulling everyone back we look weak and every pirate in the Terminus System will be at our door.” 

Tevos sighed as the arguments began a new and looked to the window, watching the peacefulness beyond and shuddered. How long would this peace last? 

~~~@~~~ 

She woke with a start, gasping for air and sat upright from the table and her fist connected with Grunt’s chest with enough force that he staggered back in shock as she clutched the side of the bed, coughing heavily as Chakwas rubbed her back and put a mask over her face. “Steady! Steady now Shepard. Take deep breaths in through your mouth. In and out Shepard, come on.” 

“Fuck… God damn this hurts…” she coughed, clutching her chest tightly. “Oh God… What happened?!” 

“Shhh, deep breaths.” Chakwas ordered and slowly the pain faded away and Shepard let Chakwas lay her back against the pillows of the bed. “There, now you keep that on and don’t even think about moving until I get a blood sample from you, young lady.” 

“Yes mom.” Shepard smiled, only to duck under the light slap Chakwas gave her. 

“Battle Master,” Grunt stated poking the dent with a finger. “You dented my armour.” 

“I’ll bash it out later.” She promised through gasping breaths, then blinked seeing the man stood behind Grunt. “Admiral Hackett?” 

“How do you feel Shepard?” the man asked as Chakwas shooed Grunt out of the bay lightly. 

“Like someone dropped a building on me then ran me over with the Mako. Twice.” She said. “But other than that, I’m fine.” 

“Good.” Hackett nodded. “Because the Batarians want blood, there’s just enough evidence for a witch hunt and we don’t want a war with the Batarians with the Collectors out there taking out Colonists.” 

“So you believe me now-Ow!” Shepard asked wincing as Chakwas pushed the needle into her arm. “That hurt.” 

“You’ve had worse.” Chakwas reminded, removing the mask. “Bed rest until I say otherwise.” She added. “I will not have you running yourself into exhortation again.” 

“We should never have doubted you, Shepard.” Hackett said. “You did what you did for the best reasons, but there were more than three hundred thousand lives in that system, all dead. Despite your messages.” 

“If I could have saved them I would.” Shepard snapped. 

“Your perching to the choir, Shepard. If it was up to me, I’d give you a damn medal.” Hackett smiled then shook his head. “Evidence against you is shoddy at best, but at some point, you’ll have to go back to earth and face the music. I can’t stop that, but I can and will make them fight for it.” 

“I’ll stand trial.” She said shaking her head. “Once this mission is done and I know we have time, I’ll turn myself in.” 

“Glad to see you still have your honour.” Hackett smiled. “Do whatever you have to do out here but when Earth calls, you make sure you’re there with your dress blues on, ready to take this hit.” 

“I’ve taken worse.” Shepard sighed watching him leave. “Someone fetch me a bowl of strawberries and ice cream!” She added with a sigh as she sank back into the pillows. “And a glass of raspberry juice!” 

“What are you, seven?” Jack asked though she was smiling. 

“Plus, twenty-seven, twenty-nine if you count the two years I was on a table.” She huffed. “though I feel seventy…” 

“Someone call for food?” Garrus asked as he came in with a large bowl of strawberries and ice cream and a glass of juice on a tray. 

“Thank you.” Shepard smiled. 

~~~@~~~ 

Hackett smiled as he left the Normandy. Despite everything he’d heard and feared, Shepard was still Shepard, the same woman she’d been when she faced Saren and the same girl she’d been when she told him to move his slow ass out of her way during a run around the base to escape the paint balls. 

She was still the child he’d seen walk in off the streets at eighteen and watched carefully grow into the solider she’d become before Akuze, and then, he’d seen the side of her she’d tried to leave behind in the streets, the side of her that still governed her choices even now. 

Cerberus couldn’t clone that. 

He typed rapidly and opened a comm channel to the Council. “This is Admiral Hackett of the Alliance, Its really her. As of right now, everything we have is to be directed at protecting our outer most colonies and protecting the Human race from the Collectors.” 

~~~@~~~ 

She lay awake in her quarters, watching the stars fly by as they few through the stars, feeling cold, numb and lost. So much death, all because she hadn’t been faster, because the warnings had been ignored and everything she had worked so hard to prevent had been wiped out… 

If this was how the Universe thanked her for the work she’d done, by allowing the deaths of thousands while those she trusted and loved turned their backs on her, then maybe it was time to stop trying to fight to be heard and leave the Universe to its own rotting ways. 

She sighed and rolled onto her side, pausing as she caught a faint scent to her pillow and realized it was Garrus’s, likely lingering from the night he’d spent at her side just a few nights ago and smiled, burying her nose into the pillow as she closed her eyes. 

Eventually, sleep found her and with sleep, came the foggy images of dreams. 

~{ Darkness, a place where there was little light, but there were voices, deep unknown voices. 

“Identification looks right. Everything you found?” 

“Surprised there was that much. Human body must. Take real beating.” 

“Your credits. If this isn’t. I come back for them. You go in the box.” 

Explosions. Gun shots. Shouting. 

“Shepard!!!” That voice she recognized. Liara! Liara was there! She was with her but… then she wasn’t and she was cold. She struggled to find awareness beyond those few moments when she was able to hear the faint hum and hiss of some kind of ship. 

“Good. The product is exactly what is required. The Shadow Broker has done well.” 

That voice she’d heard recently… a Collector? Why was she…? 

“Its all you want and it’s as good as yours as soon as the Shadow Broker gets his payment.” 

Payment? Payment for her? No! No! She had to get away! She had to get away! She struggled, though her body refused to listen as more voices came to her. 

“The broker isn’t happy with the arrangement. All the money now or no Shepard.” 

“Unacceptable!” 

Silence for a time and then more shouting. Words, names… then. “Liara! Now!!” 

Explosions again, the tug and pull of Biotics that could only be Liara, she was there again! She was safe! 

“Feron! Let’s go!” 

“Go! Go Liara! Save Shepard!” 

“Feron!!” 

Who was Feron…? Liara? Liara was crying, she could hear her sobbing as if she was right next to her. For a long time She heard Liara crying and then… then something new and unwanted came, painful cold, like sharp daggers ripping into her. 

Coldness that burned so much it made her skin ache to be soothed until faintly, just on the egde of her hearing Liara was there again and she was with… 

Miranda? 

“Worse shape than expected. Hardly optimal.” 

“Point. Miranda. Let the dead rest. This is.” 

“The Collectors would do? The boss is hopeful. Shepard’s prospects. Everything we got.” 

“What will. Illusive Man. Feron?” 

“Do something. You want to do.” 

Everything changed suddenly throwing her this way and that as voices continued to reach her and snippets of memories. 

“Shepard?” Tali asked, “You’re alive? Working with Cerberus?! How could you!?” 

No! 

No this wasn't right! this wasn't right!!! Tali couldn't... No! No!! 

“I’m sorry Shepard.” Garrus said, “I can’t stay.” }~ 

 

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!” Shepard screamed as she sat bolt upright in bed, throwing herself forwards and right into the fish tank with an all mighty thump before she hit the floor, hissing and cursing as she clutched her face. “Ow, ow, ow, ow! Fuck! Shit!” 

“Commander? Are you in need of assistance?” EDI asked. 

“No! I’m not! Just… Just tell Chakwas I fell out of bed and then leave me alone!” She snarled. 

There was a moment pause and then calmly, EDI responded. “Aye Commander. Logging off.” 

Shepard heaved herself back up onto her bed and sat, trying to make sense of everything she had just seen and heard and felt. It was too vivid to be a dream, and too realistic to be a vision. Was it a memory? What had triggered it? 

And what did it mean? 

~~~@~~~ 

“Time to see if you really are ready for this Shepard.” He said and typed a request to the Normandy. 

Moments later the holo image of Shepard appeared before him, looking unrested again, but at least she wasn't drunk. ~ “What do you want?” ~ 

“We think we have them.” He told her, “Horizon, one of the human Colony out in the Terminus System, just went silent. If it’s not under attack, it soon will be.” 

~ “Good thing Mordin wants to talk to me.” ~ She stated. 

“There is something else you should know,” he said taking a drag from his cigarette. “Ashley Williams is stationed on Horizon, officially it’s an outreach program to improve Alliance Relations with Colonies but they’re up to something. Something big if they sent Chief Williams.” 

~ “They just happened to pick a colony with one of my crew?” ~ Shepard asked. ~ “I don’t buy it.” ~ 

“If they are working with the Reapers, it shouldn’t be a surprise they are interested in you.” He reminded. “They may be going after Miss Williams to get to you considering you destroyed their plans of arriving here sooner.” 

~ “Then call the Citadel and get me back up.” ~ Shepard hissed. 

“The Alliance will only get in the way and if this is an Attack, then you would have given the Collectors more targets.” He told her, “Once you have everything under control, I will set the message myself.” He promised. 

~ “You’d better. Joker set course for Horizon!” ~ She ordered before the image fuzzed out. 

She wasn’t warming up to Cerberus, that much he knew and could understand, it had been Cerberus who caused such pain in her life on Akuze after all. 

~~~@~~~ 

“Mordin, you sure these upgrades will work?” Shepard asked. 

~ “In limited numbers should make you invisible to swarms. In theory.” ~ 

“Mordin.” She growled. 

~ “Experimental tech, only test is contact with seeker swarms. Look forwards to seeing if you survive.” ~ 

“We need to work on his humour.” Shepard huffed and lead the way towards where a small swarm had gathered over a large turret, though as they got closer, Shepard was glad that the swam seemed to ignore them. 

“We got incoming!” Garrus yelled as shots began to fly over them and Shepard took cover behind a crate. “Husks!” 

“Fuck, don’t let them close to you!” She hissed taking aim and firing at the heads of the Husks, ending them quickly as she had when she’d faced Husks before, though many shots bounced off the Collector’s heads. 

“Aim between the eyes!” Garrus encouraged as the Collector that had been getting close to Kasumi and Shepard went down. “Sweet spot.” 

“Knew there was a reason you liked him so much.” Kasumi smiled and Shepard tried to ignore the heat in her face. 

“Shut up.” 

~ “Commander *static* we’re getting inter- *white noise* we can’t maintain…” ~ Joker’s voice cut in and then cut off. 

“That ship’s causing interference.” Kasumi said. 

“Then we’re on our own until this is done.” Shepard groaned, “great.” 

“Shepard, over here.” Garrus called as he crouched by something on the ground. 

A dead Husk. 

“This was a human once?” Kasumi asked with a shudder. “Was it a colonist?” 

“No, the Geth made Husks with Dragon’s Teeth, huge metal spikes. The Collectors must have brought them with them.” Garrus said. 

“Why?” Kasumi asked. 

“Whatever the reason, these aren’t the same as the ones from Eden Prime. They’re more evolved…” Shepard said. “We need to stop the Collectors taking any more colonists.” She added reloading her gun. “Let’s go.” 

“They’re stuck like this?” Kasumi asked as they came across some colonists, trying to help one another hide and run away from the now docile swarm, “But still aware?” 

“Yes,” Shepard said, seeing the fearful looking the colonist’s eyes become confusion and then relief as they saw the N7 Mark to her armour. “They’ve been here a long time.” 

“Hopefully we can get them out of it,” Garrus said. 

“Hello.” Shepard smiled suddenly and picked up a large Particle Beam cannon. “Collector weapon.” 

“Let me guess,” Garrus smiled. “Finders keepers?” 

“They clearly don’t need it.” Shepard said holstering her pistol and testing the new weapon in her grip, “And I like big guns.” 

“I noticed.” Garrus smiled as they moved on, ducking into cover as more Collectors arrived from the air, one of them starting to glow instantly after it landed. “Heads up!!” 

Shepard aimed and fired her new weapon, testing the recoil and smiling as her felt the warmth seep through her armour. “Nice.” 

“If I have to tear you apart Shepard.” A growling voice snarled as Shepard was hit in the shoulder and thrown back into the ground. “I will.” 

“You again?!” She hissed, trying to get up through the pain in her shoulder. “Shit.” 

“My attacks will tear you apart.” The voice snarled again and Shepard had enough time to roll away as a shot slammed into the ground where she had been, unloading her clip into the glowing Collector that stood above her. 

“Down!” Garrus yelled and Shepard ducked covering her head as the shot hit the Collector between the eyes, leaving the Collector to disintegrate into dust. 

“What the hell was that?” Kasumi asked as the last Collector went down. 

“No idea.” Shepard hissed as Garrus helped her to her feet, “What the fuck did that thing hit me with?” 

“Shield breaker.” Garrus said, “You’re armour shield is done.” He added looking around and the swarm began to gather. “We need to get you inside until the effect wears off.” 

“Over there,” Kasumi said as the Turian helped Shepard walk to the cover of a building she was bypassing the door lock on. “Quick.” 

“Fuck,” Shepard winced as Garrus helped her inside and the door closed behind them again, locking the seeker swarms out. “I forgot how much shots hurt when you don’t have shields.” She admitted with a wheeze. 

Something fell to the floor and Shepard snatched up her pistol, aiming it at the darkest corner. 

“Get out here. Now!” Slowly, a man crept out of the shadows behind the boxes and Shepard lowered her gun. “Start talking, not everyone can hide form the Collectors.” 

“Those things are Collectors? You mean they’re real? Not just some propaganda from the Alliance to keep us in Council Space?” The man asked, “They get everyone, Lilith, Sten… They got damn near everybody!” 

“Tell me everything.” Shepard told him. 

“Names Delan, Mechanic. I came down here to check the main grid after we lost Comm signals then I heard the screaming, when I looked outside there were swarms of bugs, everywhere, everyone they touched just froze, I sealed the doors. Damn it! It’s all the Alliance’s fault, they stationed the Chief here and build the defence towers, now we’re a target.” 

“Defence towers?” Garrus asked. 

“Hight powered GARDIAN lasers. A gift from the Alliance. But the targeting system don’t work.” Delan stated. “All they did make us a target.” 

“The Collectors are targeting remote colonies,” Shepard snapped, “The Alliance was trying to help you. Now tell me where to go to get the guns online.” 

“You’d have to head for the main transmitter on the other side of the colony,” he stated then moved back as Shepard stood up again. “I can let you out, but I’m locking the door begin you, I’m not taking any chances.” 

“Why am I not shocked?” Shepard said, “Let’s go.” 

~~~@~~~ 

“Come on, Shepard where are you!?” Joker hissed searching the channels rapidly for any boost to the signal. “Stupid Collectors.” 

“Deep breaths Joker we’ll get through.” Chakwas assured then smiled as the channels crackled to life. 

~ “Normandy? Can you hear me?” ~ Shepard asked. ~ “Joker? EDI?” ~ 

“We’re here Shepard, but the signal’s really weak.” Joker stated. 

~ “EDI, I need you to get the defence towers online.” ~ 

“Errors in the calibration software will be easily rectified, but it will take time to bring them to full power. I cannot mask the increase generator output.” EDI explained, already working her way into the data streams and coding of the towers, “I recommend a defensive posture, Commander. Enemy reinforcements are closing in.” 

~ “Hold them off. Got it.” ~ 

EDI carefully began to rework and correct the coding around her, careful to put the targets as Collectors and not Humans and also to shoot down the Swarms and Husks, hearing the faint echoes of shots and bullets over the comm systems a she worked. 

“You will not stop me!” The Collector’s voice snarled as Shepard ducked for cover. 

“EDI!?” Shepard called. 

~ “Bypassing failsafes and attempting emergency power-up.” ~ EDI explained calmly as Shepard unloaded another clip into the glowing Collector. ~ “Please hold the defense tower.” ~ 

“We are the Harbinger of your destiny!” the Collector snarled as a shot skimmed over Shepard’s head. 

~ “GARDIAN anti-ship batteries at 40%.” ~ EDI assured. 

“More of them!” Kasumi yelled, “We’re popular today!” she added as Husks and Collectors swarmed the area. 

“You will know pain Shepard.” the Collector snarled, “Nothing stands against us!” 

~ “Batteries at 60%. Syncing targeting protocols to Normandy’s systems.” ~ 

“Hurry EDI.” Shepard panted, “We’re low on ammo and this fucker’s getting annoying!” 

“Heads up!” Kasumi yelled as a huge Collector slammed down into the ground and knocked everyone off their feet. “Shit!” 

“Move!” Shepard yelled and pulled Kasumi into cover as Garrus rolled away from the incoming attack from the Collector’s eyes. 

“What the fuck is that!?” the Thief asked taking a moment to reload her gun. 

“Whatever it is, it needs to be dead!” Shepard hissed and readied the Particle Beam cannon. “Hit it!” she snarled and squeezed the trigger. 

The Collector screeched in agony as Shepard’s shot hit, leaving it open to other attacks from Kasumi and Garrus until it slammed into the ground and Shepard felt a powerful shockwave knock her to the ground, her head striking painfully against a wall as she landed. 

“Oh fuck…” 

~ “GARDIAN anti-ship batteries at 100%. I have control.” ~ EDI stated as the guns whirled to life and began to fire on the Collector ship. 

“Move Shepard!” Garrus yelled and she rolled from under the attacking Collector, feeling her armour catch she hissed and forced the catches open before the Collector could strike her. 

“Shepard!?” Kasumi called out. 

“I’m ok!” She assured managing to crawl under the slightly raised building as the Collector tried reach her, giving Garrus and Kasumi time to fire on it from behind. “EDI?” 

~ “Multiple impacts. Collector Vessel is taking damage.” ~ 

Shepard nodded and squeezed out of the small area, snatching up her weapons again and unloading it into the Collector until it at last fell to the ground, screeching in agony as it rumbled into ash. 

The ship, as if realizing it was no longer safe, began to shake, tremble and shift until it’s engines kicked in and threw dust everywhere. “They’re pulling out!” Garrus warned as the ground rocked and shifted beneath their feet as the ship climbed rapidly into the sky. 

“You can’t let them get away!” Delan yelled as he rushed over. “Half the colony’s in there! You gotta do something!” 

“I’ve done what I can.” Shepard snapped at Delan, “You ran away and locked yourself in a room instead of helping others, you have no place telling me what to do.” 

“Easy Shepard.” Garrus said as he put a hand on her shoulders. 

“Shepard? Wait, I know that name,” Delan said, “You’re an alliance Hero.” 

“Commander Shepard.” A female voice stated and Shepard looked around to see Ashley walking over. “Captain of the Normandy, the first human Spectre and Saviour of the Citadel. Take a walk.” She added shooting Delan a glare. 

“Figures all the good people we lose and they leave you behind.” Delan huffed, “I’m done with you Alliance types.” He added and stormed off. 

“Thought you were dead Commander. We all did,” Ashley began as she stepped closer and offered her hand. “Head you have some trouble with Batarians.” She added. 

“You got something to say to me Ash?” Shepard asked and Kasumi looked to Garrus who shook his head. “Because I don’t like the fake smile you just tried to flash me.” 

“Why didn’t you try to contact me? Let me know you were ok!?” Ashley growled letting her hand drop. “I thought you were gone! Two fucking years and you just show up and act like nothing’s happened?!” 

“I was out for two years.” Shepard told her, “I didn’t even know I was alive until I woke up on someone table. I asked Anderson about you when I stopped by the Citadel to get patched up and he told me you were on a classified mission. I’ve been trying to get hold of everyone I can from the old crew and so far, the only one whose bothered to answer me is Tali and even then, she’s brief. When Anderson refused to even give me a hint about where you were I figured you’d herd I was alive and ignored my attempts to speak with you.” 

“I tried to move on when you died. I lost Kaidan because I followed you and then you ordered me off the Normandy as she went down.” Ashley snarled, “But here you are pulling me back in and now we have reports of you working with Cerberus.” 

“Reports?” Garrus asked. “You mean you already knew about her being with Cerberus?” 

“Alliance intel said Cerberus could be behind our missing colonies and we got a tip that this one could be the next to be hit. I went to Anderson, but he wouldn’t talk and then I heard the rumours about you not being dead and that you were with Cerberus.” Ashley explained with a glare to Shepard. 

“Our Colonies are disappearing and the Alliance turned its back on them, Cerberus is the only group willing to do something about it, when they woke me up, they asked me to look into it.” Shepard explained. 

“Bullshit!” Ashley hissed, “I wanted to believe you were alive, I just never expected anything like this from you. Not after what they did to you on Akuze.” 

“Ashley.” Garrus warned. 

“You’ve turned your back on everything we stood for!” Ashley growled. “You let them use you to do their dirty work and you’ve let them use you to kill a whole Alien system-Ah!” 

Ashley hit the ground with a pained yell, the left side of her face red from the smack she had just taken from Shepard as the older woman grabbed her by the neck and slammed her against the wall. 

“Don’t you DARE tell me I’ve turned my back.” Shepard snarled, “Cerberus brought me back, but they do not own me. I am no one’s puppet. No one’s tool. I am no one’s SLAVE!” She screamed. 

“Then why are you helping them!?” Ashley snarled. 

“Because no one else listens.” Shepard yelled, “Are you so brainwashed by the Alliance and the Council after everything we went through with Saren that you can’t see the real threat? Has Udina’s bull shit spread so far while I was away that the obvious threat is just a word no one understands?! Is that what Kaidan died for?! Answer me!!” 

Ashley couldn’t find answers to those questions and so instead stayed quiet though clearly, she wanted to say something to the Commander. 

Garrus put a hand to Shepard’s back and slowly Shepard released her grip on Ash’s throat. “I lost everyone who meant something to me on Akuze because of Cerberus. I will never forgive them for the things that stole from me. But when shit hits the fan and people go missing, the Alliance does nothing, the Council does nothing!” 

“Shepard.” 

“I woke up in the arms of Cerberus, alone and with no one I trust there to explain what’s happened and its them who tell me that everything we worked for, everything Kaidan died for, has been swept under the rugs, forgotten and twisted until no one believes it.” Shepard growled, “I didn’t ask to be brought back and thrown into this shit storm, Ash, but no one else is bothering to look into the missing colonies.” 

“How can you trust them!?” Ashley hissed. 

“You saw it for yourself!” Shepard snapped, “Look around you! Those things that attacked you aren’t human, they are Collectors and they are targeting human colonies! They are working for the Reapers and if you think for one second I will allow anyone to twist me to bending a knee to Cerberus after the shit they did to my friends, maybe you need to remember that I don’t start fights I can’t finish.” 

“Joker’s sent the shuttle.” Kasumi said quietly and Shepard turned away from Ashley. 

Ashley looked to Garrus who shook his head, “You knew that was coming.” The Turian reminded following Shepard. 

~~~@~~~ 

Zaeed shook his head as he watched the footage and threw everything he thought he knew about Shepard out the window. 

No matter how many times he thought it over or thought he knew what kind of woman Shepard was, she did something that changed his view of her or made him rethink the whole situation again. It was like trying to read two different people at once sometimes and other times it was clear when Shepard was herself or when this other side of her, this Runt as he’d heard Nihlus and Chakwas call her, was in control. 

It was scary, but at the same time, it was what made Shepard so much more deadly in battle and so unlike the reports and filed he had on her had ever made her out to be and it explained why she had such varying reactions to the things her crew did around her, why she was so laxed with Kasumi, Jack and Grunt where as with him, Miranda and sometimes Jacob, she was cold, harsh and snappish. 

She was acting, he knew that much, whenever she spoke to Jack, Kasumi and Grunt, she was calm, collected and partly truthful, that was what Zaeed had come to know as 'Commander'. But when she spoke to Miranda or Jacob and him, she had been harsh, cold and short with them, 'Runt' seemed to shine more during those talks. 

Only when with people she trusted and people who could see through her acting was she truly 'Marie Jane Shepard', but Zaeed doubted he would ever come to be amongst those people, Jack and Kasumi seemed to be wiggling there way in there, and Grunt it seemed had been instantly allowed into that group of people. 

~~~@~~~ 

He knew she’d be angry with him and while he knew that she had every right to be, he had been able to gather information from the attack and put names to the Collectors and their way of thinking, they were targeting her and those close to her, and now that they knew she could find them but their swarms couldn’t hurt her, they would change tactic and try new ways to catch her out. 

~ “The Omega 4 Relay?” ~ She asked. ~ “You’re insane! No one’s gone through there and come back, even I know that place is off limits for a damn reason.” ~ 

“It’s the only way to reach their home world.” He told her, “This is likely going to be a one way mission, you and your team, no matter who they are, will need to be strong, and that same goes for you, you can’t afford a distraction.” He stated. 

~ “I don’t need a Father.” ~ She snarled, ~ “My life is mine, I do what I wish with it and just because you had your cheerleader poster girl bring me back doesn’t mean you own me.” ~ 

He shook his head, “I don’t own you, but I want to be upfront about your odds, the Omega 4 Relay could be a one-way trip for all of you. If you have something to take care of before you go, get it done.” He explained and she turned to leave. “I have forwarded you three more dossiers.” 

~ “Whatever.” ~ And then she was gone. 

He sighed and reclined in his chair slightly, waiting for the reports and updates that undoubtedly would swarm his desk in the next few days.


	3. Chapter 3. The Truth

Chapter 3.   
The Truth. 

“Please enjoy your stay.” 

“Big sister!” A voice called and Shepard smiled, easily falling to one knee to catch Jane as the child rushed towards her right past the Concierge who had just finished explaining that Liara was waiting for them near the trading floor. 

“Hello Jane.” She smiled and gently lifted the child up onto her hip, an easy and comfortable place since she was not wearing her armour, but a pair of tight jeans, a vest top and lose jacket. “And what are you doing in Nos Astra?” she asked kindly smiling as Amanda waited for them by the door, a smile on her face as many people watched the commander carry he child, quickly looking the other way as Jack’s arms flashed blue and Kasumi made a show of checking her guns. 

“We came to see Liara, she’s been teaching me how to use my biotics naturally. Like Jade.” Jane explained and held up her bunny doll proudly, oblivious to the dangers as they walked the halls. 

Shepard smiled. “In that case, I must remember to thank her. Liara is a very good teacher.” She said. 

“Are you here for lessons too?” Jane asked. “Or more pretty clothes?” She added looking at Kasumi and Jack with a kind wave. 

“No, I am here to see Liara about something personal, they are here to make sure you and Amanda get to your apartment safely and do a bit of shopping.” Shepard smiled. 

“You sure Shepard?” Jack asked. 

“Liara and I go back a long way, Jack, she’s not the one I’m worried about.” She assured, setting Jane down on her feet, adjusting her casual jacket slightly. “Go on now, I’m sure Kasumi and Jack have a lot of fun stories to tell you.” 

“Can you really turn invisible?” Jane asked Kasumi as they walked away, leaving Shepard alone at Liara’s door. Taking a deep breath, she sighed and turned ass the doors opened to allow her access to Liara’s office where the Asari was talking to someone on a vid com. 

“Few Humans have faced an Asari Commando Unit and lived.” She stated. “I will make its simple, you either pay what you owe me, or I will flay you alive. With my mind.” She hissed and the man nodded as the channel cut off. 

“I think you scared him.” She smiled. 

“Shepard! Nyxeris hold all my calls.” Liara ordered turning around to greet her former commander with a warm and tight embrace. “My sources said you were alive, but I never believed… oh Shepard it is so good to see you.” 

“Sources? Has the little Asari I found trapped in a bubble gotten so much bigger since I last saw her?” Shepard asked with a smile. 

“A little, I’m working as an Information broker now Shepard, I have some contacts, sources even some hired muscle. Its paid the bills since you-” Liara paused and seemed lost for words. 

“Since I died?” Shepard said, “I’ve heard that enough to not be bother by it Liara… though I wish I hadn’t.” 

“Something happened?” Liara asked and offered Shepard a seat on the sofa in her office, waving her assistant away. 

“Everything.” Shepard sighed and settled on the sofa, “I woke up on a table in a Cerberus lab surrounded by a gun fight, then after getting out of there I was informed that my ship was gone and some of my crew didn’t get of the ship. Those who did had been reassigned to keep them hushed about the Reapers and everything we went through to stop Saren and Sovereign was forgotten. Then to top it off, Cerberus has proof that the Colonies going mission were targeted by Collectors and no one was doing anything about it, so they asked me to look into it.” Shepard sighed. “First friendly face I saw was Tali’s on Freedom’s Progress that was over three months ago now.” 

“You met Tali first?” Liara asked in surprise. 

“She was looking for another Quarian who had been on Freedom’s Progress for his pilgrimage.” Shepard nodded. “Gave me some help but then she left…” She said watching Liara out of the corner of her eye. “Miranda Lawson and Jacob Taylor of Cerberus have been with me since I woke up, Chakwas and Joker were already with Cerberus, waiting for me. Then I found Garrus and Zaeed Missoni on Omega and picked up some new friends on Citadel, Kasumi Goto and Nihlus joined up.” 

“I see.” Liara nodded, though Shepard saw a flinch in her eyes, a sign she’d hit a nerve somewhere. 

“I also found Jack and Grunt on the way here. But now I have two more people to find and see what Cerberus promised me into before they sign on for this mission.” She sighed. 

“So, you are with Cerberus?” Liara asked. 

“They fund my mission and pay to keep my crew going. Beyond that, I do as I want.” Shepard said, “Though not everyone sees it that way.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Shepard sighed and shook her head. “Ashley thinks I’ve forgotten when Cerberus did on Akuze, that I’ve forgotten what they did to the people we saved and rescued while chasing Saren. She things that I have turned my back on everything I stood for. And yet until recently, nothing I said was heard despite the proof I gathered and sent to everyone. Because no one believed me, thousands of Batarians die in the Bahak System to buy us more time to stop the Reapers arrival, because no one listens I walk on the edge of a pit I thought I’d left behind when I joined the Alliance.” 

“So it’s true… you are gunning for the Collectors?” Liara asked. 

“I’d ask you to join me again Liara, but you have a life here and I’m not dragging you out of it just to please some bastard in a chair who can’t be bothered to train an army for the money he spend bringing me back from the dead.” She said. 

“Then, why are you here?” Liara asked, feeling hurt but pushing in down as she looked to Shepard. “Why did you come to Illium if not to ask for my help?” 

“I need help finding two people,” Shepard nodded handing Liara two files she had with her. “Samara and Thane Krios. Once I’ve spoken to them and depending on their deals with Cerberus, I’ll be finishing any business I have left and then leaving to face the Collectors through the Omega 4 relay.” 

“But- Shepard you’ll never come back from there.” Liara gasped. 

“I cheated death on Akuze and now Cerberus stole me from death again.” Shepard told her. “They say third times a charm and if my vision was anything to go by, Jade and the others are waiting for me.” She added. 

“You saw them?” Liara asked. "Shepard you..." 

“Just Jade,” Shepard said with a deep sigh and rubbed her face lightly. “When I dream now a days, sometimes its not nightmares. I see her on some kind of beach, enjoying the sun and sea, it’s a pretty little paradise and she’s not hurt, she’s like she was never hurt at all. She keeps saying I can’t stay, but when the time came she’d be there to welcome me to stay forever.” 

“You talk like you want to die!” Liara snapped, “How can you say such things?! When so many people love you, care for you! How can you turn your back on that?!” 

“Why should the universe care if I die again?” Shepard asked, “I know my crew and the people I care for will miss me but I’ve had enough Liara, don’t you see? All my life I’ve been fighting, fighting to live, fighting to stay, fighting just to feel alive again. And now I’ve been cheated of death twice. I’m tired Liara, I thought after I joined the Alliance and fought a few battles I could retire to a nice little place, just be myself and maybe start a family but now I can’t have that. Cerberus has ruined my chances to be normal by bringing me back with whatever they put inside me, and I have no place on Earth to go now that I have the Batarians out for my head.” 

“But…” 

“No.” Shepard said, “I’ve made up my mind Liara, when the time comes, I’m going through the Omega 4 relay and if that mission means the death of me. I’ll gladly let death take me this time, where no one can pull strings and have me brought back to fight their battles for them.” 

Liara stood and walked away from the sofa for a moment, as if contemplating something she wanted to say, but every time she found the words she wanted to say, they didn’t form correctly and Liara eventually gave up trying and looked at the files. 

“Samara arrived and registered with Tracking Officer Dara at the transportation hub. As for Thane, you would be able to find out more about him from Seryna, her office is in the cargo transfer levels.” 

“Thank you Liara.” Shepard said and stood ready to leave. 

“Shepard, before you leave Illium. Please come back and see me.” She pleaded. 

“I will,” Shepard nodded and left the office. 

Liara sank into her chair and quickly send a message to her assistant to leave for the day and tell everyone she was out before the tears blurred her vision too much and she covered her mouth with her hand to muffle the sob that broke free. 

It had to be a lie! This couldn’t be the Shepard she remembered from the months chasing Saren, it just couldn’t be! This was all wrong! 

Shepard couldn’t be so willing to die! Not after so much fire and passion in her eyes all that time ago… 

What had happened?! 

She sucked in a breath and then began to type rapidly to the one person who could help her now. 

~~~@~~~ 

Shepard slipped into the shadows and smiled at how easily she got past the Asari police. It was far too easy to slip into the old ways of Runt now she didn’t care about living or dying as she walked into the ally way. 

She would have to wait until dark to go after Thane, but Samara was here in this ally way somewhere and she could at least waste time trying to find the Asari Justicar and try to recruit her for the mission, an Asari willing to protect the innocent would protect her crew mates from danger if that came to be. 

And Thane’s skills as an assassin would help her keep the crew safe in hard battles. 

She stepped over the dead bodies of Eclipse Mercs as she went and calmly opened the door to another room only to duck as a Merc was thrown towards her. “That had to hurt.” She said and looked up as she heard someone speaking. 

“You think I’d betray her!? She would hurt me in ways you can’t imagine!” 

“Tell me the name of the ship she left on,” Another Asari stated, biotics pulsing over her body, “your life hangs on the answer Lieutenant.” 

“You can kill me, but one of us will kill you Justicar!” the lieutenant snarled levelling her gun at the other only to be lifted and thrown by the biotic powers of the other Asari with ease, shattering the glass and scattering the crates she fell on. 

Shepard watched quietly as Samara used her biotics to float calmly down and pushed her boot into the Lieutenant’s neck. 

“The ship’s name.” 

“Go to hell.” The Eclipse lieutenant spat. 

“Find peace in the embrace if the goddess.” Samara said before twisting her foot and snapping the younger Asari’s neck easily. 

“Now if human police were allowed to do that, I would have felt more compelled to listen to them.” Shepard said as Samara stepped away from the dead Eclipse Merc. 

“My quarrel is with these Eclipse sisters, but I see an unarmed woman before me.” Samara said, “Are we friend or foe?” 

“I’d like friends,” Shepard said, “My name is Marie Jane Shepard, I need the best in their field to help me go up against suicidal odd on behalf of every race in the known Universe to save them from a threat they refuse to acknowledge is true because no one else wants the job, and if you’re willing to help, that’s you.” 

“I sense the truth in your words, but I see an incredibly dangerous fugitive. These Eclipse sisters smuggled her off-world. I must find the name of the ship she left on, before the trail goes cold.” Samara said, “The Police of this area have been ordered to detain me, but tomorrow, I will be free to fight my way out of custody to continue my search. Such is my code.” 

“Tell me how to help you, Samara. There must be a way to spare lives and both of us get what we want.” 

“Find me the name of the ship, and I will help you.” Samara nodded. “The Volus merchant Pitne For is tied to this, get the truth from him.” 

“Got it.” Shepard nodded and then slipped back into the shadows as footsteps approached. 

~~~@~~~ 

Chakwas carefully stacked and counted her supplies, all of them sent to her by Liara along with a few special bottles of rare gins, and several upgrade plans to help her improve her medical bay. 

She also knew there were many other shipments that were arriving on behalf of Liara. Weapons for all races, tech up grades, food, drink and so much more that the Normandy crew would love and likely need for where they were going. 

“Doctor Chakwas?” 

“Yes Miranda?” The older woman asked, pausing her work to look at the woman. 

“May I take a few of your Medi-gel packs please? I have something I need to do and it may lead to injuries,” the dark haired woman said. 

“You may, but if you come back with worse then a scratch on you that you tried to hide with the gel I will strap you to the bed and have you listen to music from the human first world war.” 

Miranda blinked. “You have those songs on file?” 

Chakwas smiled. “Marie and I share a fondness for old music. Though I admit, my ears are somewhat tinned.” She chuckled as Miranda carefully placed a few medi-gel packs into a bag. “Good luck.” 

“Thank you.” 

~~~@~~~ 

“You’re here to see the Justicar?” The detective asked looking at the human before her, she was slightly dirt and clearly had been running recently or working out a lot before she had come to the station. 

“I have information that she wanted, and once she has it she will leave.” The human stated and handed her a data pad, “This is the confession of the Asari who killed the Volus and also proof that Pitna For is a smuggler.” She added and then walked past the Detective to Samara, who was sat cross legged waiting for her. 

“Shepard.” 

“AML Demeter. The Ardat-Yakshi left two days ago aboard that ship.” She told her. 

“You impress me,” Samara smiled. “You have fore filled your end of the bargain and I will keep mine, the Ardat-Yakshi is a dangerous criminal and I will bring her to justice.” 

“I’ll meet you on the Ship. You can use the rescores there to help you search for the Ship and when you find it, we’ll go from there.” 

“Thank you, Shepard.” Samara nodded and moved to speak with the Asari detective while Shepard tapped her commlink. 

“Seryna?” 

~ “I’m off shift, I’ll pick you up at the transport station.” ~ 

“Got it.” She nodded and headed to the cabs, slipping into the back seat of one as Samara caught up to her and joined her in the back. 

“You have other business here?” the Justicar asked. 

“Thane Krios.” Shepard nodded, “Once I speak with him and see if he will join this missions, I’m stopping by an old friends place to say good bye before we leave Illium. As beautiful as it is here, it reminded me too much of the city I grew up in a shiny and pretty image to cover the sickness and rot beneath.” She said. 

“You have something of a poet in you.” Samara said, “Are you aware that you are being followed?” 

“Yes.” She nodded and leant forwards, poking the unseen shoulder. “Boop.” 

“How did you-?” the woman asked as she flittered into view. “How did you know I was here?” 

“I was raised on the streets and I have N-7 training, I know when someone is watching me.” Shepard smiled. “Samara this is Kasumi, Kasumi this is Samara, play nice.” 

“A pleasure.” Kasumi smiled, “So, why aren’t you letting us tag along? I thought you wanted our help?” she asked. 

Shepard shook her head. “Nothing personal, but sometimes I need to do things alone. I need to remember what it’s like to have no one there to catch me when I make mistakes.” 

“Shepard the Bahak system wasn’t your fault.” Kasumi said. 

“No?” She asked, “Thousands of lives lost because I wasn’t fast enough to stop it, because I couldn’t get the warning out, because my work had been twisted and buried in so much bull shit that no one believed it. How is that not my fault?” 

“You didn’t do the twisting and burying, and you didn’t know that Doctor Kenson was indoctrinated.” 

“I should have.” Shepard said. “I saw what Saren was like, Matriach Benezia! I saw what being indoctrinated is like first hand, how people behave, how they respond… How could I not see that Doctor Kenson was as well?” Shepard asked, “I’m losing my edge Kasumi, and I need to get it back by doing things on my own.” 

“Well, that might be an issue.” Kasumi said. “Liara called Nihlus and he has been throwing a fit since you left. Even Jack and Grunt ducked for cover when he started snarling about finding you so he could verbally rip you a new one.” 

“Oh boy.” Shepard sighed. “Who’s waiting for me at the transport station?” 

“Garrus, Jacob and Nihlus. I saw you on the way to the police station and decided to tag along, since you looked like you were going to do something fun without us. Oh, and Miranda left the Normandy alone too, said she had some business to take care of.” Kasumi said. “You are quite the little sneak, Shepard.” 

“I’m a former Wolf. I had to fight to live back on earth until I was eighteen.” Shepard reminded. “Is Jane’s ok?” 

“She’s happily tucked up in bed in very lovely pink bunny Pj’s and match bedding.” Kasumi smiled. “She even asked Jack is she could get a bunny Tattoo when she was old enough to have one.” 

“Jack tattooing a bunny on my little sister?” Shepard smiled. “Adorable.” 

“So, what’s bugging you?” Kasumi asked. 

“Nothing I can talk about yet… but I could use your help with something else.” Shepard said, “I need you to ‘steal’ me whatever information you can from here about the Shadow Broker and their possible connection to someone named Feron.” She explained with finger quotations on steal. 

“Shadow Broker and Feron, I can do that.” Kasumi smiled, “Who am I stealing from?” 

“Cerberus should have some good intel on him.” She said and then sighed as the cab landed. “And here comes the shouting at, Kasumi be a dear and introduce Samara to Jacob then make sure he helps Samara settle on the ship while I try and calm Nihlus down before he has a heart attack.” 

Kasumi smiled and led Samara to Jacob while Shepard was met with a very angry Turian using a cane to walk and another Turian with a badly scared face. 

An interesting woman, this Shepard seemed to be, and yet, she sensed something more to her, something that was being pushed down, and hidden from others, something that may, if not released, hurt the woman trying to hide it. 

~~~@~~~ 

Seryna had dropped her, Kasumi and Garrus off at the Dantius Towers, and after helping a badly injured Salarian night worker to a safe place to wait for medical care, they made their way into the towers finding some dead Eclipse mercs on the way up, freeing trapped and scared Salarian workers from a locked room. 

“Are we sure that this Assassin will still be here?” Garrus asked. 

“We can hope.” Shepard said, “We only need maybe ten minutes of his time to talk about this mission and see if he’ll join, if not then we lose nothing but the bullets we use to kill the mercs and mechs that get in the way.” 

“And if he kills us?” Kasumi asked as they came to a Cargo elevator. 

“We haven’t done anything wrong or anything to piss him off, so he has no reason to try and kill us.” Shepard reminded and ducked back behind a crate as shots ripped through the air ahead of them. “Target practice!” 

“You’re enjoying this!” Garrus yelled over the shots. 

“Trying to find something fun while preparing for a suicide mission! What would you do?” she asked as they ducked into the lift and waited for it to go up. 

“Oh, I don’t know. Learn to properly dance I guess.” He admitted. 

“Really?” Kasumi asked, “I saw you as more of a rule breaker myself.” 

“My sister and I had a bet when we were young, if I learnt to dance at least one human dance, she would learn to speak one human language,” Garrus explained, “She knows French, Spanish and she swears she can speak the language of birds.” 

Shepard chuckled, “So you have to learn to dance.” She said. 

“I can dance, just not very well.” Garrus admitted. “I took some lessons, but when my father found out, he put a stop to them.” 

“So, you’re just need a few lessons to brush up.” Shepard smiled. “Chakwas has a few classics on file, and she’s a good teacher.” She added as they stepped off the lift and found a lone Eclipse Merc in their way, talking to someone on the comms. 

“We don’t need reinforcements,” he said, “I’ll go down there and handle it myself.” 

“Turn around.” Shepard ordered as Kasumi and Garrus levelled their weapons with the Merc’s head. “Very. Slowly.” The Merc turned slowly and cursed as he realized he was out numbered. “Where is the Assassin?” she asked stepping forwards. 

“Why are you looking for him?” the Merc asked stepping back. 

Shepard stepped forwards and forced the Merc back again. “Answer my question.” 

“I have nothing to say to you.” The Merc said, crossing his arms. “If you shoot m-” 

“Good bye.” Shepard said and shoved the Merc hard in the chest watching him fall out of the window. “Moving on.” She said as they moved on. 

~~~@~~~ 

“We’re losing her…” Liara said shakily as Nihlus told her what had happened, “Going off on he own, the calmness in her voice, it’s like she’s ready to die! Nihlus we can’t… she can’t die! Not again!” 

“We can’t make her live Liara.” Nihlus reminded, “She’s human, their life span is only so many years longer than Salarians, if they don’t die of illness or fatal injury at a younger age. Shepard isn’t Immortal. She will age and she will, if this mission doesn’t kill her first.” 

“But she can’t!” Liara screamed in frustration. “They wanted her for something! They were going to do something to her, make her into some kind of Monster! If she dies on this mission who knows what they’ll do!? She can’t go there! She mustn’t!” 

“Liara.” Nihlus said. “How do you know what the Collectors were after her body?” He asked and Liara realized she’d slipped. 

“I… well I… I…” 

“Liara… you didn’t.” 

“I couldn’t let her die!” Liara screamed, “She’s too important to us! We can’t win without her! We can’t defeat the Reapers or the Collectors without her! We need her and we can’t win if she’s gone! I didn’t want to give her to them but I had no choice! It was Cerberus or the Collectors! I couldn’t take her to the Alliance! They’d have just buried her!” 

“But robbing Shepard of her choice? Liara you know what she’ll do if she finds out you gave her to Cerberus.” 

“I know!” Liara sobbed then shook her head. “I know Nihlus, I know I’ve done something she will never forgive me for, but goddess damn it all I couldn’t let the Collectors take her!” She said, “I’ll tell her when she comes back. I asked her to come see me before she leaves. I need her help with one thing but I will tell her the truth.” 

“You’d better hope Miranda doesn’t tell her first.” Nihlus stated as he headed back to the Normandy. 

~~~@~~~ 

Shepard was impressed. 

Very impressed. 

Not only had this Assassin just signal handily taken down the remaining ‘security’ in the room after dropping form the vents, without firing a shot from his own gun, he’d used his real target’s own gun to put a bullet in her stomach. 

Then, very gently, he’d laid her against the desk of her office and preyed, despite Garrus’s praise about the entrance. 

“As much as Asari praise a Goddess, Thane.” She shook her head, “She doesn’t deserve prayers.” 

“Not for her, for me. The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone.” Thane said as he stepped around the desk. “Take yourself for instance, all this destruction and chaos.” 

“Eclipse fired on us first, and I have no time to waste with fools who think they can stand in my way when I have things to do.” Shepard pointed out. 

“I was curious to see how far you’d go to find me.” He nodded, “here I am.” 

“If you knew I was coming, then you know I’m not here to ask you to kill just one person, or offer you another job.” Shepard said, “I got the Salarians out that you left locked in the room in the lower levels and told the group you saved the safest way down to get out of the hell you left them in. Somewhere between us we got this job of yours done.” 

“A fair statement.” Thane agreed. “You wanted to talk to me, and I needed a distraction. I’d say you have fore filled your end. What do you wish to discuss?” 

“A Race known as the Collectors have been stealing entire Human Colonies and somehow, Cerberus found out it was them and brought me back from the brink of death to stop them, but to do that, I need people who know how to shoot things so the die quickly, how to get people out of danger safely and how to get shit done first time. So far I have fragments of a crew I know I can trust and strangers willing to go with me on what basically amounts to a suicide mission.” 

“Attacking the Collectors would require passing through the Omega $ relay. No ship has ever returned from doing so.” Thane shook his head. 

“They said it was impossible for me to go to Ilos. I went there and drove back right into the Citadel.” 

“I can vouch for that.” Garrus nodded. 

Thane nodded. “You’ve built a career on preforming the impossible.” He agreed. “And this was to be my last job.” 

“You don’t move like an old man.” Shepard pointed out. 

“Old age isn’t what kills me.” Thane told her. “Low survival odds don’t concern me, but the abduction of your colonists does. Many innocent people died today, despite those who were saved because I wasn’t fast enough and now I have been given the chance to atone for that.” He added and offered her his hand. “I will work for you Shepard. No charge.” 

“If you need anything medical, I’ll have our doctor find it.” Shepard assured shaking Thane’s hand. 

~~~@~~~ 

Miranda panted heavily as she crouched for cover in the warehouse, her right side and left arm bleeding so much that parts of the white of her uniform had been stained red, despite the medical gel she’d applied. 

She had to keep going. 

She had to get to the top of this building and save her sister before it was too late. She had to! 

“Hold on Oriana.” She hissed, “I’m coming.” 

~~~@~~~ 

~ “Commander Shepard we have an emergency.” ~EDI suddenly stated over the comms as they reached the ground level. 

“What is it EDI?” 

~ “Ms Lawson’s vital signs have become weak and she is not responding to my attempts to contact her.” ~ EDI explained. 

“Why was she off the Normandy alone?” 

~ “Ms. Lawson was attempting to relocate her sister without being caught by her biological father. She met heavy Eclipse Mercenary resistance.” ~ 

“Oh, for the love of-” Shepard growled, “Ok, get Zaeed to suit up and go to Miranda’s last known location and send me the coordinates. Keep pinging her comm and if she does answer tell her she damn well better be alive when I find her or so help me I’ll shoot her myself.” 

~ “Yes Commander.” ~ 

“Garrus and Kasumi can show you to our ship, and hopefully I will be there shortly with my missing crew mate. Now if you will all excuse me.” She said and then hopped into an expensive looking sky car and rip the central console out. 

“Marie?” Garrus asked watching her fiddle with the coding and wires a little. 

“I high jacked these on earth years ago,” Shepard said as the car began to hover. “See you at the Normandy.” She added and shut the cab’s door. 

~~~@~~~ 

Miranda forced herself to look up as she heard footsteps and aimed her gun at Jacob as he rounded the corner. “Zaeed?” 

“Shepard’s on her way and you are in some deep trouble when she gets here.” Zaeed told her, heaving her up over his shoulder and carried her into the elevator. 

“This is my sister… my job.” 

“Shut it kid, Shepard’s pissed with me for pulling that crap, now you’re doing the same thing.” Zaeed remarked, “Now let me work on those bullet holes of yours and then we’ll deal with this mess you’ve gotten yourself into.” 

~ “And while he works you can damn well explain yourself. Running off to help your sister by yourself I can understand, but running into mercs and getting yourself shot up like a rookie? That I don’t see happening to you easily.” ~ Shepard snipped over the comms, ~ “So help me I’ve had enough of the Miss perfect attitude form you so I damn well better get an answer.” ~ 

“Shepard, I… I made a mistake. I trusted someone from my past and it blew up in my face and now my sister is in danger. Oriana is my twin genetically but she wasn’t born, she was made. Grown from my genes by my father when I was a teenager.” Miranda explained, hissing as Zaeed tended her injuries. “She was meant to replace me, but I couldn’t let him do to her what he had done to me, it would have ruined her chance to have a normal life, so I rescued her.” 

“By stealing her from her father?” Zaeed asked. 

“If you knew my father you would understand, I wasn’t the first one he made I was the first one he kept!” Miranda hissed, “I was brought up with no one, pushed to impossible demands, I wasn’t a daughter to him, just something to order around and turn into a perfect creation. I couldn’t let him do that to Oriana so I brought her with me when I ran away and gave her a normal family, where she could grow up to be a normal woman. She’ll be nineteen this year.” 

~ “And how did your father find her?” ~ Shepard asked. 

“Niket.” Miranda hissed, “He betrayed me. Sold me out and now he has my sister and her family! He’s going to turn her over to my father! I have to stop him!” 

~ “We have to stop him.” ~ Shepard corrected, ~ “Zaeed, kill anything that so much as looks Eclipse. I’m almost there.” ~ 

“Aye Commander.” Zaeed said and loaded his gun. “Here we go.” 

Miranda ducked for cover with a pained gasp, shooting around and over the top to try and help Zaeed as she saw Niket hit the ground, a hole in his head as Eclipse Merc began to scramble for cover to fight back. 

~ “Special Delivery!” ~ Zaeed and Miranda looked up as a fancy Sky Cab crashed in via the roof, Shepard jumping from the driver side as the cab veered and smashed down atop a hand full of Eclipse Mercs. “Whose next!?” 

~~~@~~~ 

Nihlus rubbed her face with his hands and sighed. 

The ship was becoming full, the crew settling nicely and while it seemed to be going well, he could see the faint lines that kept everyone together were starting to fray slightly, everyone had noticed Shepard’s change in attitude since the Bahak system. 

He looked up as Garrus came by his room and clicked his mandibles to get his attention. “I need to talk to you.” 

“What’s wrong?” 

“It’s about Liara, Cerberus and Shepard.” Nihlus said and Garrus instantly moved into the older Turian’s room. 

Kasumi silently walked away from the room door and quickly sent Shepard a typed message privately. 

~~~@~~~ 

“There she is,” Miranda said as they reached the top floor, seeing a small family together by a shuttle. “She’s safe…” she added and Shepard saw the shine to Miranda’s eyes as she tried to close them and keep the tears in. “Come on. We should go.” 

“Not even going to say hello?” Shepard asked. 

“It’s not about me, it’s about her and what’s right for her. The less she knows about me, the better.” Miranda said firmly though she stopped when Shepard shook her head. “She has a family and a life, a normal life. I’ll just complicate that for her.” 

“Do you know what I would have given to know I had family when I was her age?” Shepard asked. “I had nothing Miranda, no family, no safety, nothing, I lived my life not even knowing if Marie Jane was my real name or just a name the cops gave me after they dumped me in the orphanage for the first time. I never knew what family was until I met the crew of the Everfree.” 

“But I’m part of Cerberus.” Miranda said, “What will she think of me?” 

“She doesn’t need to know the details about your life or your choices.” Shepard said, “But would it really be so bad for her to know she has a sister who loves her?” 

Miranda looked between Shepard and then at the family, who hadn’t yet noticed them. “I… I guess not…” 

“Go on.” Shepard nodded, “Zaeed will wait for you and then get you back to the ship.” 

“Where are you going?” Zaeed asked as Miranda walked over to the family. 

“To speak with Liara.” Shepard said, “There is one last thing I need to do here.” 

~~~@~~~ 

“So, it was Liara who gave her to Cerberus?” Garrus asked. 

“Yes.” Nihlus nodded, “And now she’s sure Shepard is ready to die again when she goes to the Collector Base.” 

“That doesn’t sound like something Marie would do.” Garrus said shaking his head. “She’s different but, she’s not just going to throw herself into the line of fire.” 

Nihlus smiled, “I doubt she would, as long as she has someone to make sure she’s ok.” 

“Why are you smiling?” 

“Because since you two shared a room, you’ve been calling her by first name.” Nihlus smiled and Garrus’s neck flushed slightly. “Wrex owes me a crate of his finest.” 

“You knew?” Garrus asked. 

“That you had the hots for her? It wasn’t hard to see, given that every time she got into an argument with Sparatus over the comms you’d be growling and when Qui’in spoke to her you practically screamed ‘hands off my girl’ with all the glaring and growling you did.” 

Garrus buried his head in his hands. “Spirits help me.” 

“It was cute, made even more so by the fact that she’s the same way around you.” Nihlus chuckled. 

“Really?” Garrus asked. 

“You never noticed she made sure to stand close to you when we went by the Consort’s place? Or that she made sure to ignore every Turian that didn’t get the message from you?” Nihlus asked. “Heck she turned down Kaidan and Liara for you.” 

“Liara I knew about, but Kaidan? I thought he had eyes for Ashley…” 

“He chased Shepard before she out right told him to get his eyes off her ass.” Nihlus stated. “But I have to say, if you two are together it may explain why she’s so much calmer and why she’s sleeping better.” 

“But we didn’t.” 

“You don’t need to have intimacy to help someone sleep Garrus,” Nihlus reminded, “And as long as she’s happy and feels safe enough to sleep, I see no reason to remind you that this is a human ship so technically, no crew mates are meant to have relationships.” 

“Please, we both know someone on the crew is getting hot between the sheets.” Garrus said. 

~~~@~~~ 

Liara was waiting for her, leant against the railing in her office with her back to the door. 

“Before I give you the information I know you want,” Shepard said, “I think you and I need to have a talk about what happened when I died.” 

“How much do you know?” Liara asked. 

“I know that for two years I was in Cerberus’s hands and I know that somehow, you put me there.” She stated. “I want to know how and why you did it. After everything I said to you, everything I shared with you as a friend, you of all people knew that I had a don’t resuscitate order in the event of my death.” 

“I know Shepard… I know I went against your wishes, I broke a promise to you and I know I shouldn’t have, but I had no choice.” Liara said, “please believed me.” 

“Tell me why you gave me to Cerberus, instead of taking me to earth to be buried alongside Jade and Jennie in the Swan Gardens like you promised.” She said, “And don’t lie to me Liara, I made it clear I loved you only as a sister when you asked me to join with you. I showed you my past as Runt and I told you my death wishes. You promised me you would see those wishes done in the event of my death and instead you hand me over to Cerberus." 

“The Shadow Broker had your body, Shepard and he was going to sell you to the Collectors. I couldn’t let that happen.” Liara snarled, “I couldn’t let them have you, I couldn’t let the monsters that had killed you do Goddess knows what to your body. I couldn’t stand that thought, so I went looking for you myself and learn that the Shadow Broker had your corpse and planned to sell you to the Collectors. Cerberus was also looking for you and they put me with a Drell by the name of Feron, together he and I got you away from the Broker and the Collectors just as the deal was about to go down… Feron sacrificed himself to save me…” 

Shepard waited, letting Liara take a moment to collect her thought. 

“I gave you to Cerberus because they said could bring you back, but they didn’t tell me why or what they wanted you for, all I knew was that having you alive, having you back would stop the Collectors doing something terrible to you. So I made a deal with the devils and I gave you to Cerberus and for the last two years I’ve been living with that guilt.” Liara admitted, her shoulders shaking. “I left you in the hands of the people that hurt you the most and I didn’t contact you when I heard you were back, I was too ashamed, to afraid that you would know already that I had broken my promise and left you to their hands. But it was better than leaving you to the Collectors.” 

“There was a third option.” Shepard said and Liara bowed her head. “I was a corpse Liara. Why didn’t you finish what the atmosphere started and cremate me, then scatter my ashes over the Swan Garden? Why give me to the people who destroyed what little family I had on Akuze? Why leave me in the dark about it all until now?” 

“Because you’re going to go through the Omega 4 relay… you’re going to the Collector Home world and there will be no coming back.” Liara sobbed. “What do you want me to say Shepard? that I mourned you so much I didn’t sleep? That I worked myself ragged for two years trying to find Feron and save him in thanks for him helping save you? I made mistakes Shepard, I’m still making them now, people die because I make mistakes. It’s all I’ve ever known, when you saved me on Therum you faced a Krogan Battle Master while I coward like a child, but you showed me how to be brave, you helped me cope with my mother’s death and you helped me learn how to truly fight even when I was afraid.” 

“Liara.” Shepard said and stepped closer putting a hand to her shoulder. 

“I can’t stand it Shepard! Everything I do or have done has gone wrong!” Liara sobbed, turning around and hitting Shepard’s chest with weak fists as she cried, “I can’t stand knowing that I worked so hard to bring you back only to watch you walk away from it all and likely die again!” 

“Liara enough.” Shepard said and Liara felt her embrace her. “Enough. I’m going through the Relay because it’s the only way to stop the Collectors taking more of my people away and when they are dead and gone, everyone will come back. Just like we came back from Ilos, we’ll find a way to do it. But if I die out there, then I will die fighting, just like I did before.” 

“You can’t die.” Liara sobbed, “You can’t…” 

“Everyone dies Liara.” Shepard reminded, “It’s just a case of accepting it as normal and making the most of what little time we have.” She added and pulled back to show Liara a data pad. “I had Kasumi do some digging after I had a few strange dreams. Found this on the Shadow Broker and also some details that your friend Feron is still alive.” 

“Alive?” Liara asked snatching the pad from Shepard and looking over the information. “After two years… I never dared to dream… I have to help him Shepard. I have to save him!” 

“We,” Shepard said, “He saved my life as well as yours. I can’t just ignore that.” 

“You…. You aren’t angry with me?” Liara asked in shock. 

“I was,” Shepard said, gently wiping Liara’s eyes, “of all people I thought you would be the one to follow my last wishes, but with everything that has happened, the dreams and visons that have been coming back and everything I have seen so far, I have to keep fighting.” She admitted. “At least until the Collectors are no longer a threat.” 

“And then?” Liara asked. 

“Then I get my Alliance uniform on, go to Earth and face the music for the Bahak system and the lives lost there trying to Stop the Reapers getting here sooner than anyone thought.” Shepard said. “Cerberus may have brought me back, but I’m not running away from the crimes I commit doing their dirty work for them.” 

“The Bahak System?” Liara asked, “That was… you?” 

“I had no choice,” Shepard said and then shook her head. “I doubt you want to go get Feron dressed like an office girl. Let’s go get you ready for a real mission and then go get your friend.” 

“Thank you, Shepard,” Liara sniffed, “Thank you.” 

~~~@~~~ 

"Welcome aboard Liara." Nihlus smiled as Shepard led the Asari aboard the Normandy. 

"Looks like our little bubble girl is home." Joker called back and Liara ducked her head. 

"I am never going to live that down am I?" she asked. 

"That you were found floating in a Prothean bubble?" Shepard asked. "No." 

"Its good to see you again Liara." Chakwas smiled as she came over. "I trust the commander behaved herself this time and didn't destroy anything important." 

"I haven't found any big mining lasers yet." Shepard pouted and the gathered parties chuckled. "So Liara, I have a ship that can take us to the Shadow Broker, and you have a map to get us there?" 

"I am not flying you into another volcano." Joker said. 

"You'll fly where I tell you to fly or I'll let EDI fly the ship." Shepard smirked. 

"And I'm shutting up now." Joker chuckled. "So where are we going? Somewhere tropical? Sunny beaches? Warm sun?"


	4. Chapter 4  What once was.

Chapter 4   
What once was. 

Getting aboard the Shadow Broker’s ship on Hagalaz wasn’t easy, the storms were wild and made piloting hard and while Mordin was sure the storms wouldn’t kill them outright, he had made sure to mention that the lightning strike would kill on contact. 

“How many troops does this guy have?!” Garrus yelled over the storm shooting down another Merc. 

“Small army I’d say!” She yelled back ducking under a rocket. “Next time we go on a mission, don’t give the enemy tactical advice!” 

“At least now there will be fewer inside!” Liara assured. 

Shepard laughed. “Keep dreaming ‘T’Soni.” She said as they fired on the incoming mercs, waiting for the tell-tale bing of the hack program to open the door. 

It happened and with a swift yank, Shepard pulled Liara inside with her and Garrus, only to hit the floor as a rocket hit the panelling above them. “Out of the frying pan!” 

“And into the fire!” Garrus snarled. 

“How many Guards does the Shadow Broker have?!” Liara demanded in frustration. 

“Told you.” Shepard reminded as they returned fire on their welcoming comity. “Feels like the old days!” 

“You miss them?” Garrus asked. 

“I miss Tali and Wrex, they were always joking back and forth about weapons, plus Tali was always keeping score of who killed more Geth about of us all.” Shepard admitted. 

“Who won?” Liara asked. 

“At last count Wrex and I were tied.” Garrus informed tossing a grenade back at the mercs. “Down!” he warned second before it erupted. 

After the dust had settled and no one shot at them, Shepard stood and looked around, “Lets move.” 

"That way." Garrus said nodding towards a long corridor. 

"How do you know?" Liara asked. 

Garrus shook his head, "You don't want to know how I know Liara, just trust me." 

 

The door opened with a heavy sparking as they walked in to find a Drell hooked up to a chair with several computers and multiple wires attached to his body. 

"Feron!" Liara gasped in horror as she moved to look at the Drell through a larger window, searching for a way to help him. "Hang on Feron." 

"Liara?" The Drell asked as he tried to look around, his body covered in horrid scars and burnt skin. "Are you... real?" 

"We all are." Shepard said, moving back in shock as Feron was struck with a powerful current of electricity. 

"Don't touch anything!" Garrus yelled in warning, pulling Liara back before she could touch the console. "Its rigged." 

"What is the Broker trying to do to you?!" Shepard asked Feron as the Drell panted heavily in his prison. 

"This chair," he hissed through gritted teeth, "Its rigged into the broker's... information network. You have to shut off the power... If you try to pull me out now-" 

"Your brain cooks." Shepard said, "and I bet this is sensitive to tampering?" 

"You have to... go to Central operations to cut the power..." Feron nodded then screamed as another shock raced over his body. 

"Feron!" Liara cried. 

"Its a neural grounding rod. The medical equipment is to make sure he doesn't expire." Garrus said, "I've seen them used on Omega as torture chambers for those who try to take out Aria." 

"Do you know where we can cut the power?" Liara asked Feron. 

"The Broker's office... Central operations... that way." Feron panted nodding to the doors beyond his cell, "I never got a look at him... But he is huge." 

"Krogan?" Shepard asked. 

"I have no idea, but not everyone who visits his office comes back out." Feron explained. 

"Alright," Shepard nodded, "Easy or not, we're all getting out of this." 

"You know that he's waiting for you... right?" 

"I'm counting on it." Shepard said. 

"We'll be back for you Feron." Liara promised. 

"I'll try not to go anywhere." Feron smiled weakly. 

"Let's go." Shepard said lightly pushing Liara away from the window. "Come on lover girl." 

"We're not... Shepard?" Liara asked as they made their way through the hall ways. 

"Joker's gonna love hearing your got a friend who knows how to break the tension better then he does." Shepard smiled. "And don't deny it." 

~~~@~~~ 

Chakwas gently applied a clean bandage to Miranda's arm, "There, leave that on for a few hours and then let the injury breath before you wash it, gentle daps to clean and dry, no rubbing and don't even think about using medical gel, this kind of injury would scar badly if you try to fast treat it." 

"Thank you Doctor." 

"Doctor do you mind if I borrow a needle and thread? I ripped my hood." Kasumi sighed though she was already wearing a new hood while carrying the damaged on in her hand. 

"Top draw of my desk under the brown file." Chakwas said. 

"Thank you." Kasumi smiled and quickly found the small box of needles and thread, "You sew as a hobby Doctor?" 

"I dabble," Chakwas smiled, "Tali and Marie are actually better at it that me." 

"It helps them keep nimble fingers apparently." Nihlus said as he came in with a large box in his arms. "I have a delivery from Palaven Command, enough medical creams, pills and equipment should ever Garrus, or myself have trouble again." 

"I will remind Shepard to say thank you to the Primach for you." Chakwas smiled. "That is assuming of cause he talks to humans." 

"He will, if I remind him that she saved my life and that she has bested two of his top Generals in hand to hand many times before this. He's been looking to speak with her for years." Nihlus smiled back. 

"Good." 

~~~@~~~ 

The doors opened and Shepard reminded herself that she didn't have Fang in left side compartment anymore. 

The creature behind the desk was large even sitting down, three fingers with a huge flat face and short crest like head, it was red and Shepard counted eight eyes on both sides of its face along with many sharp teeth that protruded its mouth. 

As they entered, the screen it had been working on shrank down and it casually moved to sit straighter and fold its hands together. 

So this was the Shadow Broker. 

"Here for the Drell?" He asked calmly, "Reckless. Even for you, Commander." 

"Determination is a human trait, something you clearly don't understand." Shepard said. "Release Feron and maybe I will make an effort to leave some of your army alive on the way out." 

"The lives of my men are expendable. all this game has cost me is time." 

"Expendable like Feron?" Liara snarled. 

"Doctor T'Soni. Your interference with my dealings caused all of this, Feron betrayed me when he handed you Shepard's body. Now he is paying the price." he remarked. 

A bullet skimmed his face and all eyes fell on Shepard. "Let Feron go." She said, "I will not miss again." 

"What makes you think that you will walk out of here?" 

"You're quiet confident for someone who has nowhere left to run and hide." Garrus remarked. 

"The bounty on your head will be enough to replace the credits lost thanks to your meddling, Archangel." the broker remarked. 

"You're not putting your hands on him or anyone else." Shepard snarled. 

"You are foolish to challenge me, Shepard, I know every secret about you and your crew, I know their histories and their choices, I know things about them even you don't, and I know about you. All the while you fumble in the dark." 

"Is that right?" Liara asked. "You're a Yahg, a pre-spaceflight species quarantined to their home world for massacring the Council's First Contact teams. This base is older than your planet's discovery, meaning you killed the original Shadow Broker and took over sixty years ago. I'm guessing that you were taken from your home world by a trophy hunter as a slave. Or a pet." She stated. "How am I doing so far?" 

"I think you pissed him off." Garrus said as the Shadow Broker slowly stood up, casting his shadow over the three of them. 

Shepard moved with swift steps and pulled Liara aside with her as the Shadow Broker smashed his desk and threw it at them, hearing Garrus yelp in pain before he went quiet, the Broker roaring fury as he drew out his gun and opened fire on her and Liara. 

"Move!" She yelled and rolled for cover, snatching up her pistol as she went, only to see her shots bounced off. 

"Its kinetically sensitive!" Liara said, "projectiles will only bounce off." 

"The we do this my way." Shepard said as she cracked her knuckles and rolled her shoulders. "Come on!" She snarled and charged the Broker, smashing her fist into his jaw and then bringing another punch down against the right side of his face near his eyes. 

She saw a flash of red and yowled as a heavy force slammed into her and threw her back in to the wall. "You are nothing!" 

"Shepard?!" Liara cried. 

"Oh now you've done it." Shepard hissed, spitting blood from her mouth. "Now I'm pissed!" she snarled and charged the Broker again, this time using her Pistol to add more protecting to her hand and she attacked, bracing her shoulder against the shield the Broker was using to try and push her aside again only for her to push him back. 

"No one pushed me around!" She snarled. 

"You and your friends will die here!" the Broker snarled back and swung his shield at Shepard again, only to snarl as she rolled under the shield and pushed the barrel of her gun into his knee cap and fired into the joint. 

"Move Shepard!" Liara called as she unleashed a Biotic blast into the tank above them, "Move!" 

The Broker roared and tried to grab Shepard only to grab the hair band she was wearing and rip it from her head with a few strands of hair as Shepard pulled herself free, taking cover behind a pillar as Liara brought the liquid plasma down on him. 

The restraints clicked open and Feron forced his aching body to move at last, using the nearest wall to stand up and work his way down the hall towards where Liara had gone with her friends. 

Then over the comms he heard a terrifying, familiar voice. "This is the Shadow Broker, the situation is under control. We experienced a power fluctuation while upgrading hardware. It disrupted communications momentarily." 

"No..." he hissed and forced himself to move faster, drawing his gun as he entered the Broker's office, only to stop as he saw Liara by the comms. 

"However we are now back online, resume standard procedures. I want a status report on all operations within the next solar day. Shadow Broker out." Liara finished and cut off the comm link. 

"Goddess of the Oceans... Its you? How?" Feron asked. 

"Everyone who has ever seen him in person is dead, so no one will ever know the truth." Liara said looking at Shepard while Garrus moved to help Feron stand and offered him some well over due medical attention. 

"Are you sure?" Shepard asked. 

"We have everything, his contacts, his trading sources. Those will really help us all, with all of this, I can give you... I can..." Liara said then paused, turning away and wrapping her arms around herself. "It's over. For two years... it's finally..." 

"Come on Feron, we better check the power systems." Garrus suggested and headed for the door. 

Shepard nodded watching them leave before turning to Liara again, seeing she had covered her face with her hands and her shoulders were shaking she shook her head and moved to Liara's side, turning her around and pulled her into a tight hug, feeling Liara tense and free in her arms. 

"Let it out." 

"I... I sp-spent two years-hic- two years morning you and-sob- you and Feron and now. No I have you both back! I-I never thought I'd have you both back... For so long... I... I..." Liara babbled on and on, fingers tightly clutching Shepard's armour as she held her, not saying anything, just listening to the two years of fear and sorrow spill out at last until eventually the tears and sobs slowly ended and Liara lightly pulled away, wiping her face with her sleeve. 

"Lets see what we have..." Liara said moving to the console again and typed in a few key strokes. 

"You sure you want to stay here? I could do with someone else I trust on the Normandy to keep me sane." Shepard smiled. 

"I have to stay here Shepard, we can't pass this up, with the Shadow Broker's network I can help you, I can turn this into something better than a place for the scum of the worlds to gather." Liara said, "It will take time, but I could do it." She assured. 

"Don't be a stranger this time," Shepard said. "I need the people I trust to be there when I turn around Liara, if only to remind myself that I have someone there to catch me if I start to fall." she said and headed for the door. "And redecorate the place, it feels like a prison in here." she added with a smile. 

"Thank you Shepard... For everything." Liara smiled. 

~~~@~~~ 

"The Illusive man would like to speak with you Commander." Miranda said. 

"And I can't even get a minute to enjoy a drink." Shepard sighed with a light huff, "Garrus why can't I ignore the Illusive Man and just to Omega and get a very nice drink?" 

"Because he is paying the bill for the mission and you can't have Moonshine on Omega unless you have a very long talk with Aria." 

"And she will likely pull in that favour she wants from you." Kasumi added. 

"Fuck. Ok, I'll go talk to the annoying one." Shepard sighed, then poked Nihlus as he walked past, "Do we have any more chicken fillets left over? I am craving something yummy for dinner." 

"Yes Shepard we have chicken left." Nihlus chuckled. "Shall I ask Chakwas to fry it or grill it?" 

"Grill." Shepard called back as she headed to the briefing room, "And ask Thane and Samara if they want something added to the menu, Grunt and jack are dying to fill the empty spaces with junk food and snacks." 

"Understood." Nihlus smiled, sending a short text to the crew from his Omni tool as he made his way to the galley, pulling out a large plate of thawing chicken fillets for eth humans and a smaller pack of Dextro meats. 

"So, how did it go?" Joker asked Garrus as he came and sat himself in a chair, taking up a knife and started to peel potatoes from one of the two large bags Garrus brought to him. 

"Liara's going to be busy these next few days and spirits knows she's going to have a lot of things to think about. But all things considered I think it went well, at least Liara isn't on the verge of a mental break down anymore." Garrus nodded, peeling a different, larger looking spud that was bright green in colour and placed it's peeled skin into a frying pan, cutting the green spud into thin wafers with practiced ease. "And I think we left her with everything we could spare, including open links to EDI and a hell of a lot of blankets and pillows, and a few dozen crates of snacks." 

"They will help, trust me," Kasumi smiled, taking the time to start preparing Carrots, Swede and Peas. 

"I hear the Commander wants her favourite dish for dinner tonight." Chakwas smiled as she came in and shooed Jack away from the kitchen counter. "Any objections?" she asked. 

"No ma'am." was the chorused answer. 

"What's this?" Thane asked as he came by. 

"Crew dinner. Shepard's got chicken cravings and that means that Chakwas cooks her family special," Nihlus explained throwing a table cloth over the tables Jack had pushed together, "Care to join us?" 

"If nothing else it will be a chance to get to know the crew." Samara said as she came in, "Do you require any assistance in preparations?" 

"If you have a preferred side dish to go with Chicken fillet served with alight drizzling of honey or Turian style Rolavu belly strips with a dusting of Xeno-peppers, besides what you see being made, grab a pan and start prepping, beyond that, grab a seat and let me know what drink you want." Jacob said as he started to search the cooler, "Hey Jack, we might need to make a fresh order for your beer, looks like you're on your last two crates." 

"Damn I thought I had more." Jack sighed. 

"I smell food." Grunt smiled as he came though the hall way only to stop and stand straight as Shepard cleared her throat behind him. "Battle Master." 

"Udnot Grunt. You eat when everyone else is seated and ready to eat, not before unless Chakwas needs a taste tester." 

"Yes Battle Master." 

~~~@~~~ 

"I've never seen a ship laid out like this before," Thane commented as he and Grunt followed Shepard off the shuttle and onto the Collector Ship they had been sent to find by the Illusive Man. 

"Like some kind of hive." Shepard said, as they walked further in, weapons drawn and ready to fire. "EDI, what can you tell me?" 

~ "There is an access node to their data banks close by, I have uploaded it to the Armour's radar." ~ EDI explained, ~ "Also I have compared this ship's EM signature to the known Collector Profiles, this is the same Vessal you encountered on Horizon." ~ 

"Then the missing colonists could still be here. If they are alive." Thane offered. 

"Commander." Grunt called over and Shepard shook her head as she saw the pile of dead bodies Grunt had found. "Why would they do this?" the young Krogan asked. 

"Failed test subjects." Thane said, "Thrown aside to rot. The Collectors had no use for them after they were done with them." 

"They didn't deserve this." Shepard said. 

"Ahead of us, Shepard." Thane said and nodded towards a table where an unknown form was laid. 

"That's a Collector" Shepard said, moving to the body and then to the terminal near it. "EDI, see what you can figure out from the data I just sent you." 

~ "A moment Commander." ~ EDI said as she paused, scanning the data carefully. ~ "They Collectors were running baseline genetic comparisons between their species and humanity. These were only preliminary experiments but the results reveal something remarkable." ~ 

"What is it?" Shepard asked. 

~ "A quad-strand genetic structure, identical to traces collected in ancient ruins." ~ EDI said, ~ "Only one race is known to have this structure." ~ 

"Oh my god. Seran's upgrades. It was staring me in the face this whole time. I had it all wrong..." Shepard breathed realizing what EDI was telling her. "The Protheans didn't vanish, they weren't wiped out. They were made into monsters and used against their own kind to Harvest them for the Reapers." 

~ "These are no longer Protheans Shepard." ~ EDI stated. ~ "Their genes show distinct signs of extensive genetic rewrite, three fewer chromosomes, reduced heterochromatin structure." ~ 

"So there is no way to save them?" 

~ "None." ~ 

"Then we better hurry before they come to salvage this ship." Shepard said. "Move out." 

~~~@~~~ 

"EDI can you scan this vessel's EM Signature against the one that blew up the first Normandy?" Joker asked. 

"It will take a moment, but yes I can." EDI said pausing her searching and analysing of the data from Shepard to do as Joker had asked. "the signatures match perfectly." 

"Commander. You have to hear this." Joker said into the comms, "On a hunch I asked EDI to work her magic on this ship. This is the same one that took out the original Normandy." 

~ "The same ship chasing me for two years? No way that's a coincidence." ~ Shepard said then went silent. ~ "Oh my god..." ~ 

"Shepard?" 

~ "They could take every human in the Terminus Systems and still not have enough to fill these pods..." ~ Thane said over the comms. 

~ "They're going to target Earth." ~ Grunt guessed. 

~ "Not if we stop them." ~ Shepard said. 

"What made you suggest scanning the ship?" EDI asked. 

"Bad feeling in the back of my neck, learnt from Shepard that it usually means something you're looking at is something you've seen before." Joker said. 

~ "EDI, I'm setting up a bridge between you and the ship. See if you can get anything useful from the data banks." ~ Shepard said over the comms as the screens opened up in front of Joker and began to move rapidly. 

"Data mine in progress Shepard." 

~~~@~~~ 

Shepard waited for a few seconds, searching around the area carefully before Joker came back over the comms. ~ "Uh... That can't be good." ~ 

"Whoa!" She yelled and backed up from the controls as they sparked and smoked, parts of the plat form they were stood on starting to move and shake slowly. "What the fuck was that?" 

~ "Major power surge. Everything went dark but we are back up now." ~ Joker explained. 

~ "Shepard this was a trap." ~ EDI announced just as the platform violently shock and trembled, spinning as it rose into the air. ~ "I am having trouble maintaining connection, there is someone else in the system." ~ 

Shepard winced as Grunt caught her arm, keeping her and Thane from falling off teh plat form as it jerked to a stop and from the distance two more plat forms appeard with Collectors riding them. 

"EDI." 

~ "Connection reestablished. I need to finish the download before I can overr-r-r-ide any systems." ~ 

"Get it done fast EDI!" Shepard ordered, catching sight of the same glowing Collector amongst the oncoming wave of attackers. "Weapons hot!" 

"We are Harbinger," the glowing Collector snarled, "Our attacks will rip you apart!" 

"Fuck you!" Shepard snarled right back ducking for cover as she felt shots go over her head, using the limited cover to fire on the Collectors while Thane lined up careful shots without problem and Grunt smashed his fists into any Collector that got too close. 

~ "Shepard you must manually reconnect me to the control panel." ~ said after a time and Shepard took a moment to make sure there were no more Collectors near by to reconnect the two ships. ~ "I have found data that will allow us to successfully navigate the Omega 4 Relay, and I have also found the Turian distress call that baited this trap, the Collectors were the source, but it is unusual." ~ 

"What do you mean?" 

~ "Turian emergency channels have secondary encryption, it is corrupted in the message. it is not possible that the Illusive Man would believe the distress call was genuine." ~ 

~ "How can you be sure?" ~ Joker asked. 

~ "I found the anomaly with Cerberus detection protocols. He wrote them." ~ EDI explained. 

"He sent us in here knowing it was a trap." Shepard growled. "So help me- whao!" She gasped as the ship began to shake and rumble around them. "Oh what now?!" 

~ "The ship is powering up! You need to get out of there before the Weapons come online! I am not losing another Normandy!" ~ 

"EDI guild us out of here!" Shepard yelled, "Move it boys!" 

"Right behind you!" Thane assured as he and Grunt chased after Shepard, ducking or cover from the sudden oncoming shots as they went, firing shots past Shepard at the Husks that seemed to swarm them, following EDI's directions to try and escape as the ship began to roar to life. 

~ "Commander the weapons just came back online! We have to go!" ~ Joker yelled just as they reached the shuttle. 

"We're coming Joker!" Shepard yelled back as the shuttle lifted off and made a rapid flight towards the Normandy. "Haul ass!!" 

"Strap in and hang on!" Joker yelled as he worked his hands across the controls as the ship skimmed a beam. "Shit. EDI Get us the hell out of here! I can't dodge this guy forever!" 

"Engaging Mass Effect core." EDI stated and then with a painful gasp Shepard, felt the ship jerk into light speed. 

"Status report!!" Miranda called, "Is everyone alright?" 

"I broke through a window." Jack groaned. 

"I am unharmed, though I will need to see Doctor Chakwas for confirmation of that." Thane assured. 

"My samples are a mess." Mordin complained, "But unharmed." 

"I feel flat as a pancake." Kasumi wheezed. 

"I think I'm alright." Jacob said, "Just don't ask me to lift anything heavier than I feather for a week." 

"We're ok." Nihlus called, "Garrus fell over." 

"Are we clear?" Samara asked. 

"We're clear." Shepard assured with a heavy sigh. "Chakwas, I want everyone checked for any kind of injury from that jump, EDI tell me the minute we leave Jump Space and are in comms range of the Illusive Man and then tell him to get his ass on the link before I hunt him myself." She ordered. 

"Yes Commander." 

"Kasumi, Jacob, Garrus, Thane, Jack you come through first." Chakwas ordered as she unstrapped herself from her seat, watching Shepard march towards the lift and went up to her room. 

It wasn't until they reached Omega that Shepard was seen again and she went straight to the briefing room even before Joker could mention that the Illusive Man was calling them, "EDI put this bastard on Loud speaker. I want everyone in here to hear what this was about." 

"Yes Commander." EDI assured as Shepard stepped into the holo grid. 

~ "Shepard, EDI extracted some interesting data from the Collector ship." ~ 

"She also told us that you knew that was a trap." Shepard said. "You betrayed us, just like I knew you would." 

~ "We are at War, Shepard. The Collectors are taking humans and every minute we waste chasing odd ends is another minute they have to prepare." ~ 

"I know the stakes in wars, I fought enough battles to know what I'm doing and I don't take kindly to people who sit behind a desk and pretend to be friends when they only care about themselves, you sent us in there blind and it was thanks to EDI we got out alive." Shepard snarled, "I told Zaeed if I couldn't trust him he can leave. The same thing applies here, all I have to do is say the word and the whole Crew gets a huge payday and we go about this my way." 

~ "Without the information EDI found, we couldn't have reached the Collector Home World. Everyone in the universe you care about may as well be dead. It was a trap, yes, but given your reputation I was confident in your ability to get the job done and the Collectors couldn't have anticipated EDI." ~ He explained, ~ "You may not like being on the receiving end, neither would I. But the facts are with me, as much as we try to avoid the hard decisions, they need to be made." ~ 

"I can make my own decisions and I don't like being lied to or tricked." Shepard reminded him, "You got one warning and consider that gone. From now on you send everything you find to EDI and I mean everything, and we will look into the details ourselves, and I will decide what we do from there. And if I get so much as a hint that your information is bogus, if I get the slightest twitch that you're lying, I will send you back every Cerberus member of the Normandy and do this myself with the ones I know I can trust. Do you understand me?" 

The Illusive man said nothing for a time and Garrus watched Miranda hand over several credits to Jack while Chakwas nodded in approval. 

~ "As you wish Shepard. But the risk paid off." ~ the Illusive man explained. ~ "EDI's findings confirm that the Reapers and Collector Ships use and advanced Identify Friend/Foe system that the Relays recognize. All you need to do is get your hands on one of those IFFs." ~ 

"Send all of the details to Joker and we'll look into it ourselves," She said, cutting the Illusive Man off. "EDI, call the crew in here now." 

"Yes Commander." 

~~~@~~~ 

He sighed and took a long drag of his cigarette. 

His gamble had paid off, but now he was close to losing what little control over Shepard he had. She would send his people back, he knew that she would and she could easily replace them now that she had reconnected herself with the Wolf Pack Gangs. 

He couldn't lose her now, they needed Shepard to stop the Collectors as the only way to do that would be to play the game from Shepard's rule book and that meant that he would have to show all the cards he held to her. 

He also knew that eventually, Liara would stumble upon the files the Shadow Broker had about Shepard's past on earth... 

"How will you cope with the truths she finds Shepard?" He asked taking a drag of his smoke. 

~~~@~~~ 

"So he didn't sell us out." Miranda said. 

"Could have fooled me." Jacob huffed. 

"Used us, lied to us. Not healthy for long term relationships. but necessary to gather intelligence." Mordin said. 

"Thoughts on the table." Shepard asked, pacing back and forth at the head of the table, squeezing a small stress ball in her left hand while rolling a stylus over the right. "Everyone, tell me what you think, honestly and truthfully." 

"Well, the information looks good and it would make sense." Nihlus said carefully looking over the reports. "The weather will be harsh, but we can upgrade weapons and armour to cope with it." 

"But this is a derelict Reaper we are talking about. Whose to say the Collectors aren't there waiting for us?" Jacob asked. 

"Plus no way this place is safe for us to just swing by and grab the IFF." Garrus remarked. "Even Cerberus hasn't committed resources to trying to find out what happened to the first team that went into look for the IFF." 

"And we have no idea if the IFF will work." Jack pointed out. 

"We could try and fix it if it is damaged." Kasumi suggested, "It might take some time, but we must have something that could fix it." 

"Commander, I have managed to locate the Collector's Home world based on the navigational data we recovered." EDI said and the galaxy map opened up over the table and a small red circle appeared. 

"What?" Zaeed asked. 

"That can't be right." Miranda said. 

"EDI are you sure about this?" Shepard asked. 

"My readings are correct," EDI assured. "The Collector home world is located within the Galactic Core." 

"It can't be, the Core is just black holes and exploding suns. There couldn't be any planets there." Jacob said. 

"But it could be artificial construction." Thane said. "A space station or ship similar to the Quarian Flotilla." 

"Possible." Mordin nodded. "A station protected by powerful mass effect fields and radiation shields." 

"Do the Collectors have that kind of technology?" Samara asked. 

"They are just servants of the Reapers." Shepard said tossing the stylus at Jack who caught it in her Biotics and set it spinning lightly around the table. "The Reapers built the Relays and Citadel, they set the foundations of everything that happened here, who says they can't make a home for someone in the middle of black holes and exploding suns?" 

"No wonder no one has ever come by from the Omega 4 Relay." Kasumi said. "Nice shot by the way." 

"Can we?" Joker asked. 

"EDI. Tell me what the data says about their home, everything you can." Shepard requested while clenching her fist tightly around the stress ball. 

"The logical conclusion is that there is a small safe zone exists on the far side of the Relay where ships can survive. Standard relay transit protocols would not allow safe transport, drifts of several thousand kilometres is common and would be fatal in the galactic core." EDI explained. "The Reaper IFF must trigger the relay to use more advanced encrypted protocols." 

"So lets go kill these bastards and get this done." 

"No." Shepard said cutting Zaeed off. "Just because we can follow the Collectors home doesn't mean we have the ability to take them out. We need to be ready before we go after them." 

"Sooner or later we're going to need that IFF." Jack said. "So why wait?" 

"We need to build our team up before we go there. Taking down Sovereign brought down hundreds of people and we don't have the help of anyone else if this goes south." Shepard said with a growl. 

"Shepard relax your hand." Chakwas suddenly said and Shepard looked down to see her left hand was clenched tightly, the knuckles pale white and the vine in the back o her hand showing through the skin, the ruined remains of the stress ball now split and limp in her fingers. 

"Opps." She said. 

"So what do we do?" Garrus asked. "Go for the IFF or do more research?" 

"We build up strength and make a plan." Shepard said, slowly unclenching her hand with a pained hiss. "And we stock up on more stress balls. Dismissed." 

"Aye ma'am." 

"Shepard, may I speak with you privately a moment?" Samara asked as the room emptied. 

"I'll come by when Chakwas has checked my hand." She assured and Samara nodded, returning to her room to wait for the Commander, looking out the window to the stars around Omega as she waited. 

The door to her room opened and Shepard stepped inside, now sporting a bandage over her left hand, "You wanted to talk?" She asked. 

"Yes, I find I must ask you for help." Samara said quietly. "Something that is not easy for me." 

"Asking for help from me or just asking for help in general?" Shepard asked. 

"When you found me on Illium, I told you I was hunting someone, I have found her thanks to the information you gave me and the resources you have allowed me to use here on your ship." Samara said, "She is on Omega, hunting in the Afterlife Night club. Aria has agreed to let me board her station, but only because I am aiding you and will be removing a potential threat to her in doing this. But I can not kill her without your help to lure her out." 

"Why would an Ardat-Yakshi be lured out by someone like me?" Shepard asked. 

"You are aware of what an Ardat-Yakshi is?" Samara asked. 

"Jade taught me a lot about Asari and the things that they didn't want people to know about now that they have a place in the universe. I know that Ardat-Yakshi means 'demon of the night winds' and that an Ardat-Yakshi is just an Asari with a rare disorder that means whenever she mates, the melding isn't the way it should be, she over powers and burns out the other person, you become mindless and then die." Shepard said. 

"I am surprised you know such things or that she did." Samara admitted. 

"Jade was always good at learning things most people didn't." Shepard said, "She was always fascinated by others, but I could never understand why she found me so interesting." She added. "So tell me, why is this Ardat-Yakshi so special?" 

"As far as I know, only three of them exist today. Two of them choice a life of seclusion, where they will never hurt anyone. But the third ran." Samara said, "She goes by the name Morinth and when she ran, she proved her addiction to killing like a drug addict unable to give up her fix and for the last four hundred years I have hunted her. She confuses her victims, Shepard, twists their feelings until they will do anything she asks. And I have never been so close to finding and ending her as I am now." 

"But why must it be you who kills her Samara, this seems to be a lot of work for just one Asari to take on even if she is a Justicar." Shepard said, "I'm all for the smoke and mirrors of a killer but this seems personal to you." 

"There is one thing more." Samara shook her head, "This monster. She is my daughter. She was always the wild one, happy and free, but she was also selfish." 

"Why is she selfish for wanting freedom from a prison she'd have to live in forever just because of a birth defect?" Shepard asked. 

"She is killing innocent people every time she mates with them Shepard, people who should live long happy lives, not die at the hands of a monster." Samara said, "If there was any other way to end this, I would use it, I do not take kindly to killing my own children, but I can not let her continue to kill and murder just to satisfy her own endless desires. She is no longer the innocent little daughter I raised so long ago, but a Monster. A monster I must kill. Help me find her, Shepard. That is all I ask." 

Shepard sighed looking at her hand and nodded, "I will help you Samara, but only if you do something for me in return." 

~~~@~~~ 

"Are you sure you have to go alone?" Garrus asked. "You can't take Kasumi with you? her cloak will keep her hidden." 

"Garrus, I'll be fine this isn't the first time I've played sex toy to find someone." Shepard told him as she showered. "And I am not wearing that black mini dress Kasumi, put it back. I know what I'm wearing already." 

"Damn it." Kasumi huffed as she looked over the Commander's wardrobe. 

"But this isn't just anyone," Garrus said from the desk in the loft, "This is an Ardat-Yakshi. Marie she could easily take over your mental will... she'd kill you before Samara could get to you if she catches on." 

"I can handle it Garrus." She said again and stepped out of the shower, and lightly shooed Kasumi from her wardrobe, "I can dance better then half the Asari in Afterlife any day of the year, I can carry more alcohol then Aria's best drunks and I can sweet talk any bar tender into mixing me a good drink and Samara will be there to help me." 

"I still don't like this." Chakwas sighed. "This isn't just another mission, this is someone who can hurt you Shepard, not physically but mentally, I don't want to see you relapse again, not after what happened last time." 

"Will you two stop?" Shepard asked, "I know what I'm getting into and if I get in trouble Samara will be there, heck if I had Fang I'd be less worried." 

"Are you ready Shepard?" Samara asked as she arrived. 

"Just need to cover the scars." Shepard explained and Garrus felt his throat dry up and his jaw go slack as he looked at her. 

She was dressed in a pair of skin fight leather pants that barely held onto her hips, exposing her navel and part of her abdomen and for the first time, Garrus saw the faded ink of a tattoo over Shepard's right hip, some kind of crescent moon sharp that was hidden under the cloth of her pants. The top she'd chosen hugged her shoulders and deliberately showed off her cleavage and the top lace of the bra she was wearing and showed off another tattoo of a small black swan over the right breast. 

"Wow." Was all he could say. 

Shepard smiled. "Well, don't just stand there and stare Garrus, help me cover the scars on my back." She said and lightly tossed him the bottle. 

"You needn't cover the scars," Samara said. "They prove that you are a fighter and will help lure her in. Even before you spoke to me on Illium, you had the aura of power and your scars prove that you are an artist on the battlefield, Morinth will want you the moment she sees you, but the trick is over powering her caution enough that she will approach you." 

"Judging by what I remember of my days on earth and everything you've told me about her, I need to be the quiet one until someone else makes the fuss, and make sure she sees others scared of me but not so much that the run away." Shepard said and took a moment to pull a brush through her hair and let it stay lose. 

"I will be in the shadows outside the club, if you feel unsure or something isn't right, come and talk to me." Samara said, "Once you are face to face with her, you will be in her grabs, it will be slight, but if you are not careful, she will start taking control. You will need all your wits and awareness about you." 

"Easy enough, as long as I stay off Moonshine." Shepard said. 

"Are you sure you want to go alone?" Chakwas asked. 

"If I don't Morinth will slip away and Samara might not get the chance to do this again." Shepard said, "Stop worrying and let me do this. If nothing else it will be a chance to get some stress out of my system before I kill someone I shouldn't and make Aria mad at me too." 

Chakwas sighed but reluctantly left the room with Samara, "I will wait at the shuttle." The Justicar assured as she left. 

"Marie," Garrus said, catching her wrist before she could leave. "Please be careful. We lost you once to the Collectors and almost lost you again in the Bahak System." He reminded grimly as his grip tightened. "We can't lose you again." 

"Garrus," Shepard smiled and reached up with her free hand, lightly rubbing the unscarred side of his face. "You won't lose me to this bitch. She can only make me want her if I let her and trust me, I have my eyes on someone far better than some would be sex goddess." 

"Oh?" Garrus asked. "Anyone I know?" 

She chuckled, "I'll make you a promise Garrus," She said. "You make sure you're here when I come back and in the morning, we'll talk about that lead you found from Harkin and how we're going to go about finding Sidonis." 

Garrus opened his mouth to say something but before he could form words, Shepard rocked up onto her toes and kissed the scared side of his face before slipping away. 

"Kasumi." Shepard stated as she passed a corner of the corridor. 

"Yes Shepard?" 

"No one sees that photo." 

"Of course Shepard." 

~~~@~~~ 

Aria must have commed ahead to her bouncers, because no one stopped her as she walked through the door and Shepard smiled, feeling the music already loud enough to shake the floor and walls around her. 

She felt eyes on her and ignored the need to cover up that came over her, not all of them were the eyes she wanted, but then again, she knew better than to try and hide herself when she was trying to attract someone in. She'd done it enough on Earth to know what every gaze on her meant. 

Passing glances over her from head to toe and back again, security guards who were still too sober for their own good and bouncers for weapons. 

Lingering looks from her face to her breasts and then to her hips and ass, Turians and some Batarians, looking for a night in the sheets or just a quick fuck in the hall way, those glances stopped when they saw someone else they thought they could take down easily. 

Someone caught her eyes and she nodded, Bartender, was ready to take her drink, she took a moment and then went for the light stuff, two shots of one and three shots of the other, hold the ice. 

Someone else still had eyes on her, slowly moving over her body giving her shivers, a hunter's gaze, or a dead man walking, that was what she called it on the Streets, too many times it had been a man watching her and too many times, she had put the blade of Fang to their necks and cut deep. 

"Care for a dance?" Some Turian asked as he slid over to her. 

"No thanks." She declined, tucking her arms in to her sides and turned away slightly and the Turian walked off in a huff, though the eyes stayed on her though now they were tracing the scars that cross crossed and lined her back. 

She forced herself to stand still and let the eyes wonder, it was the only way to get Morinth to see her as an easy mark, a submissive type that wouldn't make the first move but was independent enough to put herself out there for the world to see despite the scars that some would see as ugly. 

The eyes stayed with her wherever she went, watching her chase a large man away from a younger Asari than Liara had been when they met, followed her across the dance floor as she stepped in to break up a fight between a Turian and a Krogan before the bouncers were forced to draw their weapons, earning a round of drinks for everyone. She remembered the days on the streets when she'd had eyes on her like this, even when she'd been covered in the most unflattering clothes and rags, how she had learnt to ignore it until the last second when she could lash out and make sure her place was known to everyone. 

Those days were gone now, but the skills they left her with were alive and hyper active now, keeping her safe while her crew were elsewhere. the music seemed to get louder and Shepard caught sight of Grizz, meaning Aria was watching her too. 

Now she was the centre of attention of two Asari and while one of them had no interest in her besides her own weird fascination, the other was a killer she needed to lure in and somehow convince to take her home. With nothing better in her bag of tricks, Shepard finished her drink in one long pull, closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the music and dancefloor for a while. 

"Care to get out of here?" A sinfully warm hand touched her skin and a oh so deceptive feeling wrapped around her. "My apartment is near by and I want you alone." 

"Can I at least know your name?" She asked looking at the Asari before her. "Seems only fair." 

"Morinth." Her captor smiled, "And you?" 

"Marie." 

"Pretty name." Morinth smiled and Shepard let her led the way from the Dance floor to the door of the club. 

~~~@~~~ 

"She's fine Garrus." Nihlus told him. 

"I know." 

"Then stop pacing." Grunt said as he punched at the punching bag to vent his own frustrations. 

"What if something goes wrong?" 

"What if nothing goes wrong and Shepard comes home with Samara and they had no luck tonight?" Jack offered while using her biotics to move Targets for Thane and Kasumi to take down. "Chill out Garrus, you're making me feel edgy." 

"Why couldn't she take Kasumi or even Thane with her? Both of them have stealth and could have been back up in case something went wrong." 

"Vakarian stop worrying." Joker pleaded, "Shepard knows what she is doing. Come one she's a Wolf Pack member, she's got Aria watching her back and an Asari Justicar, both of those two are powerful and we both know Shepard will fight tooth and nail to get out of danger when she has too." 

"I know but-" 

"Elevated levels of stress, not good for Turian physical or mental health." Mordin said. 

"Go and wait for her in her room Garrus," Chakwas ordered from her place, "Shepard will be fine and when she comes home you can stop worrying." 

"Yes Ma'am." 

"Has he always been so protective?" Thane asked as Garrus headed down the halls to the lift. "Of the Commander I mean." 

"He loves her and she loves him, but neither of them has told the other that yet." Chakwas sighed. "They both have a lot of things that keep them from opening up, but eventually they will and heaven knows when they do I will feel less like a grandmother." 

~~~@~~~ 

Morinth's eyes were on her constantly as they walked to her apartment and she felt her hands brush and touch her scars, attempting to draw her attention away from the path ahead of them and to look into those eyes. 

"You know, for someone who was enjoying the attention in the club, you certainly have a shy side." Morinth said, backing her into a door way, "You want to come in?" she asked and again, Shepard had to look into her eyes. 

She had managed to avoid them for the most part but if she kept dodging Morinth's gaze, she knew she'd lose the hunt and Samara would never have her chance again. "I'm not one of letting everyone see me naked like some common slut." she admitted. "Or did you think I was clubbing for the money they threw at Aria's guard for my ass?" 

Morinth smiled, "So you noticed that did you? I'm not surprised, you move like a hunter, but I see something of a mouse inside you Marie." 

"Does that make you a cat, Morinth." She asked before the door hissed open and Shepard gasped as Morinth grabbed her in a tight hold and pulled her inside, pushing her against the nearest wall and managed to catch her lips in a bruising kiss. 

A feeling of helplessness washed over her and for a second, Shepard felt tight hands around her neck, leaving her unable to do anything but shake and tremble as the kiss deepened and something cold tried to take hold of her mind as Morinth at released her from the kiss. 

"Look me in the eyes Marie and tell me you want me. Tell me you would kill for me. Anything I want. 

"You were wrong." Shepard hissed. "I'm no mouse." 

"What? but you.." Morinth backed up, and Shepard smirked. "Who are you?" 

"I'm a wolf." She said, "And I brought a friend." 

"What?!" Morinth hissed, only to yell in pain as she was thrown into the window. "Mother!" 

"Do not call me that." Samara snarled as she came in, her biotic flowing freely as she threw another blast at the younger Asari. "You made your choice long ago." 

"What choice?!" Morinth snarled lashing out with her own Biotics, leaving Shepard breathless as she ducked to avoid the falling lights and dislodged furniture. "My only crime was being born with the gifts that you gave me! I am the genetic destiny of the Asari, but because they aren't willing to revile that, I must die!?" 

"Enough Morinth!" Samara snarled as the two of them became locked in a biotic field. "You are a disease to be purged! Nothing more!" 

"Samara?!" Shepard called, trying to avoid being hit by the circling furniture and the powerful back lashing biotic energy. "Whao!" 

"I am as strong as she is," Morinth stated, "Let me join you!" she pleaded increasing her push against her mother. 

"I am already sworn to help Shepard in her mission, you only seek to kill her later and continue to run!" Samara snarled, matching her daughter's force with her own. 

A hand grabbed Morinth's arm and twisted it painfully, "End of the line, Morinth." Shepard said. 

"And they call me a monster." Mornith snarled. 

"Consider it justice for the souls of those you've already killed!" Shepard said letting go of her as Samara struck her again, knocking her away. 

Samara marched after her scrambling daughter and the two came to a stop behind the ruins of a seat and some shelving. "Find peace in the embrace of the goddess." 

Shepard turned away as she heard the snap of bones and biotics, but said nothing. there was nothing she could say. 

"Are you ready to leave?" Samara asked. 

She nodded, the night's events would likely leave her with unease and lack of sleep, but if they were quick, they might be able to get back to the Normandy in time to catch Garrus before he went to sleep. 

"Thank you Commander, for this and showing mercy on a broken old warrior." 

"You aren't that old." Shepard said, "You only feel it because of the duty to carry." 

"You believe such?" Samara asked. 

"I'm thirty four years old, Samara, thirty six if you count the two years I was on a table being put back together. But I feel seventy six, my bones ache, my skin has most wrinkles then an un-ironed bed sheet and I am losing my edge when I don't focus." Shepard sighed, "If I had to guess, I'd say I have two maybe three years left of good fights in me, but beyond that, I'm already half way in the grave." 

"You are holding something back." Samara said. 

Shepard sighed and nodded, "I am, but for the sake of the crew, I'm not sharing it." she said knowing Samara wouldn't press for details. 

At least, not yet. 

~~~@~~~ 

Garrus woke feeling someone move next to him, moving to sit up only to stop as Shepard all but fell against him, clutching his under suit tightly in her hands as he felt her tremble. 

"That Bad?" He asked. 

"I never want to talk about it. Ever. At least not while I'm sober." She said. "Please, can we just... Sleep? Please?" 

Garrus nodded, lightly puling the blanket over them and held her, one hand over her back the other under her body, gently running his talons though her hair. "Go to sleep Marie." he said softly, "I'm not going anywhere." He promised. 

"Thank you." She sighed, nuzzling closer to him before at last closing her eyes and letting sleep find her.


	5. Chapter 5.  Protective Thorns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I jigged this up a little, because honestly, I don't see Tali needing your help getting the evidence to prove herself innocent, but really the whole Trial scene bugged me a lot with her, so I took the whole scene, threw it in the blender with Thane's loyalty mission and Garrus's, strapped the lid on and turned it to high speed.
> 
> This is the result.

Chapter 5   
Protective Thorns 

She woke up first and where she might have once felt trapped waking up with someone holding her, she had learnt from her time with Jade that not all embraces were bad. Plus, having a Turian next to you when you woke up was a sure sign that you were safe from any dangers that might come at you. 

And Turians were always warm. 

Shepard smiled and for a time, just lay still and enjoyed a moment to herself, just pretending that instead of being in the Loft Space of the Normandy SSV2, she was in a comfy bed somewhere warm and sunny, safe from all Bullshit of the Universe with Garrus, and that any minute now there would be the little patter of children feet. 

There was a pain in her right side and over her left hip, she'd fallen asleep with her clothes still on and now they were uncomfortable and tight in some places. She sighed softly and wiggled a little in her blanket, hoping to slip free of Garrus and change into something more comfortable and go back to sleep, without waking him. 

She managed to pull away slightly, only for Garrus to tighten his grip on her and let out a soft growl like purr as he held her, as if he was trying to soothe her back into sleep. "Garrus?" 

"You've only slept for two hours." He said softly, "Go back to sleep." 

"Can't." She said, "I need to get changed into something more comfortable." 

"You have five minutes, then I'll drag you back to bed, ready or not." Garrus warned her with something of a smirk to his face as he released her from his arms, though she could feel his eyes on her even as she moved to the draws and searched out a night top and shorts. 

"Is that a promise?" She asked, not bothering to hide the smile in her voice as she pulled the top off she'd been wearing and threw it into the wash hamper for later, soon throwing the lace bra in after it while pulling the lose night top over her head. 

"It can be." He said and Shepard felt his eyes on the tattoo on her shoulder. 

"The one over my shoulder was done by another Wolf member, it's meant to be a Wolf's paw print. The crescent moon over my hip was professionally done when I joined the Alliance, a little reward for myself after getting out of the Streets." 

"And the black swan?" He asked as she pulled the night shorts on and returned to the bed. 

"Jennix did that one for me." She smiled, "We'd just finished a tour in the Terminus together and he's seen the two I already had, since Jade had a white swan over her left breast, Jennix offered to do me a black one over the right, just so I'd have my own little Lucky Swan." 

"Why Lucky?" Garrus asked, moving to wrap her back in the blanket as she yawned and snuggled close to him again. 

Shepard shrugged, "That was just our thing." She admitted, smiling as his talons found her hair again. "You have a fascination with my hair it seems." 

"More a little trick I learnt helps you sleep," he admitted. "When you relapsed back when we were chasing Saren, you struggled to settle. So I did some research and found out human's sometimes find comfort when someone pets or massages their scalp. Since my talons would cut skin even if I filed them down to stumps and you reacted badly to someone touching your skin, I went with just pulling my hand through your hair repetitively. It took a while but eventually you started to calm down and sleep longer." 

"And now?" She asked. 

"Habit." Garrus admitted, "I can stop if you want." 

"Don't you dare." She told him before yawning again. "I like it." She said, smiling as he wraps his arms around her again and resumed stroking her hair. 

~~~@~~~ 

"So, you and Shepard?" 

"She cares for me, but only as a sister," Liara said, carefully cleaning the badly burned and charred skin of Feron's back. "It seems only fair that after all she's done for me, I can at least find her those few things that meant something to her." 

"By finding a glass swan and a knife?" Feron asked wincing as she touched a raw area. 

"The swan was a gift from someone dear to her, long before she met me. It was just something that she loved and it feels wrong that she has lost it. The dog-tags should be with her, she earned them a thousand times over..." She smiled delicately removing the dead skin. 

"And the knife?" He asked. 

"Fang was a safety net of sorts, a means of keeping her past locked away." Liara explained. "There, that should feel better now." She added finishing her work on his back before the consul bleeped at her and she smiled, "Found it." 

"Pretty," Feron said looking at the image over her shoulder, lightly wrapping his arms around her waist lightly. "So, is she really the only one who could stop the Reapers and Collectors?" 

"She has the memories of what the Reapers did to the Protheans, she has the Cipher that helps her thing and work like a Prothean against them. If Shepard can't win this war, then no one ever will." 

~~~@~~~ 

"Is it really wise to go back to the Citidel?" Chakwas asked. 

"I have to help Thane find his son and help Garrus with Sidonis." Shepard said, "Besides, its not fair to just leave them without some closure before we go on this mission." 

"But if the Alliance sees you there." 

"I've already sent a message to Pallin and the Wolves, on the Citadel, no one is going to notice us." Shepard assured, "we just have to stay in the wards. Pallin has already had Bailey bring in the guy we need to speak with about his son he's going to be arriving in the cells just as we dock and while Thane and I go deal with him, Garrus will be hunting down Sidonis." 

"And you trust him not to be rash?" Nihlus asked. 

"I trust him with my life." Shepard reminded. 

"Ready to go?" Garrus asked. 

Shepard nodded, pulling her hood up over her hair as she followed Garrus and Thane out of the Normandy Airlock, ripped up jeans and a baggy jacket over her vest top. 

"At least we can watch her over the vid feeds." Chakwas sighed, knowing that it wouldn't ease the worry she felt, but at least she would know Shepard was ok. 

Ever since they found out Thane's son was on the Citadel, Shepard had refused to wear her armour for the mission, it drew too much attention and while everyone knew her name few people really knew her face so going out in civilian clothes made her less noticeable. But it also meant Chakwas and Nihlus couldn't track her with the built in tracking device in her armour. 

~~~@~~~ 

"You are allowing this?" Verlan asked him. 

"As much as I dislike her and her methods, she is a Spectre." He growled, "But if she sets foot out of the Wards, I will have her arrested." 

"You will do no such thing." Tevos told him. "She has every right to be here. And if you two cannot accept that, I will see that you are dealt with, painfully." 

Anderson was smile, he could feel it but not even a he would dare challenge Tevos now she had made her place known in this argument. 

~~~@~~~ 

Thane waited for her with Captain Bailey while Garrus headed off, "If you find him, call me. I'll be there as soon as I can be." 

Garrus nodded, "Good look with Thane's son, Shepard." 

"You be careful." She said watching him leave and then went over to Thane, "So what's the plan?" 

"Elias Kelham, was the one who hired your friend's boy to do a job for him, but he refuses to tell Pallin anything." Bailey said, "I'd leave him to you but his lawyer is on the way." 

"Stall him and we'll be quick." Shepard smiled, "Trust me." 

"Just hurry." Bailey said, watching them go into the cell. 

He pretended not to hear the shouts of pain from inside the cell as he saw the lawyer arriving only to be stopped by a well dressed and very pretty looking young lady and her small group of friends buying Shepard more time with the man inside the cell as they worked the lawyer. 

Just as the lawyer broke through the group, Shepard and Thane stepped out and slipped away into the crowd before anyone could stop them. 

~~~@~~~ 

Garrus sighed and carefully moved through the hall ways, looking carefully around for the Turian that should be around but seemed to have vanished into thin damn air after leaving Omega. 

All the work Fade had done was going to come undone soon and Sidonis would be without a name to hide behind meaning he could set up a fake meeting and draw Sidonis out, but until then, Garrus would have to wait and bide his time. 

He took another sip of his drink and watched the crowd slowly mill around below him, feeling something burn deep in his chest, so many of them going about their normal lives as if they were safe, despite the danger he knew was out in the galaxy, ready to kill them all... 

Marie was only one woman leading a handful of people to protect the galaxy, but so many people, not just here but everywhere seemed so ignorant and total unaware of the threats that lurked around the shadows, waiting to rip their perfect lives apart. 

He shook his head. How did Shepard cope with that amount of stress on her shoulders? How did she endure it all for so long? 

And how much longer could she bear it before she began to break? 

~~~@~~~ 

Shepard wanted to punch Joram Talid hard in the face. Oh, she would love to just smash her fist into his face to shut him up. "Thane if I have to hear one more jib at my race from this guy I'll do Kolyat's job for him." 

~ "I am incline to agree with you, Shepard, but we must stop him." ~ 

"We will, but so help me I want to at least see this guy shut up first." She huffed following him along the cat walks with ease, "I'm gonna lose sight of him for a minute when he goes into the next area while I navigate these walk ways, do you have him?" 

~ "I do, let me know when you have him again." ~ 

"Will do." Shepard smiled and carefully balanced herself as she walked along the walk ways, it felt like she was back on earth for a moment, but at least here she wasn't going to fall to here death if she slipped. 

Once she reached a safe place and found Joram Talid again she was about to open her comms when she saw fast movement below and saw a younger Drell drawing out a gun and aiming it at Joram's back. 

"Kolyat!" The warning came in time for the guard to push Joram out of the way before the shot could hit him but not fast enough for Joram to make a fast enough get away into his apartment. 

"Thane!" 

"I saw." Thane said as he raced from his place in the shadows near by, right behind his son as they gave chase. "I saw the guard hit a panic switch before he went down. C-sec is on the way." 

"They headed for Joram's apartment." Shepard said. "Trust me?" 

"More than I do C-Sec." Thane nodded as the door opened before then to show Kolyat had Joram at gun point. "Kolyat." 

"The one time I don't need you and you show up." Kolyat hissed angrily, "is this a joke?" 

"C-sec." Bailey called out at the door opened again. "Put the gun down." 

"They have snipers outside Kolyat," Thane said. 

"I don't need your-Whao?!" Kolyat gasped as a bullet hit the lamp behind him, knocking it into the view of a sniper's bullet and a hard fist slammed into his face, making him drop the gun. 

"Joram Talid, get out. Bailey get rid of the snipers before I call Pallin myself and have them all demoted to foot patrols." She stated calmly, dismantling the gun Kolyat had been using. 

"You know I can't let him walk out Shepard." Bailey said. 

"My Spectre status trumps Kolyat's attempt at assassination of a loud mouth fool who uses words to berate the work of the men and woman who died keeping this Citidel alive in the battle against Saren." She reminded. "We'll talk about what happens next after Thane has had chance to talk with him." 

"You son of a bitch." Kolyat snarled. 

"Your father's dying." She stated, hearing Bailey's men leave. "He's trying to make up for his mistakes. Hear what he has to say." 

"Why should I? He was never there for me!!" Kolyat demanded. "He wasn't there was my mother was alive, and when she died he didn't stick around!" 

"And you think she would want you to make the same mistakes I did?" Thane asked. "Kolyat when your mother was killed, it wasn't random. They killed her to get at me, and if she hadn't known the work I was doing, they'd have killed you too." 

"She knew?" Kolyat asked in shock. "But she... she hated violence." 

"She begged me to stop before you were born, and for a time I did. But I couldn't stay away long, I was dying even then and all I saw in the world was the evil within it, I wanted to make the galaxy a little brighter before I left it. I hunted the people down who killed your mother, I was trained to be swift, but not for them. I hurt them, and I killed them, I made then suffer for what they'd done to her, and while I have taken much bad from the galaxy. You are the one good thing that I brought into it." 

"You were never there." Kolyat snarled then went wide eyed as the barrel of the gun in Shepard's hand snapped in half. 

"You've got two choices Kolyat, listen to your father and try to fix the damage or ignore his help, ruin your life forever and rot in a prison cell for the rest of your life." She said, "And if what you say is true, then you're no batter than Thane if you allow stupidity and anger drive you to do something your mother would have never wanted of her only son." 

I can give you both a room to talk in at the precinct." Bailey said and reluctantly Kolyat moved to follow Thane, casting her an odd look, before she looked down at her omni-tool to answer a call. 

"Garrus?" 

~ "Orbital Lounge." ~ 

~~~@~~~ 

Pallin sighed. 

She'd never change, no matter what happened it seemed, Shepard would always have a violent streak in her. 

"At least she's loyal to a fault." He sighed again and pushed the report into a small box labled as Spectre, Shepard. 

~~~@~~~ 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked. 

~ "Sidonis betrayed ten good men and they are lying in unmarked graves while he lives like nothing happened. He deserves this." ~ 

"At least let me talk to him." She said seeing the Lounge ahead of her. "This isn't like you Garrus, and I'm worried about you." 

~ "Talk all you want, but it won't change my mind." ~ Garrus growled and Shepard saw him, crouched on a cat walk above her, ~ "What do you want from me Shepard? To forget that ten good men died because Sidonis sold us out and ran? Nothing he says will change the way I feel. Would you let him go if you were me?" ~ 

"Garrus I have blood on my hands that will never wash out." She reminded with a deep growl of her own. "But I grew up without someone to teach me right from wrong. I let the betrayals and pains change me until I became a worse monster then the people that hurt me. I told myself it was justice, but the truth is it was murder and everyone knew it." 

~ "Who is going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don't?" ~ Garrus asked, ~ "No one else knows what he has done. No one else cares. I'm sorry Shepard but words aren't going to solve this problem." ~ 

Shepard sighed. "What do you want me to do?" 

~ "Wave Sidonis over and keep him talking. I'll tell you when I have a clear shot." ~ 

She nodded and after spotting the Turian Garrus had shown her in the picture of his crew he'd managed to hang on too from Omega, she waited for him to notice her watching him before waving him over. 

"Fade sent you?" Sidonis asked. 

"Garrus sent me." She told him and while she saw the faintest spark of hope behind Sidonis's eyes, she heard Garrus snarl over the comms and felt the cross hairs of a scope at the back of her neck. 

"You're not kidding me are you?" Sidonis asked. "He's alive?" 

"Do I look like I'm joking with you?" Shepard said. "I want answers." 

"Answers?" Sidonis asked. 

"Why did you do it?" She asked, moving to follow Sidonis as he walked towards the railings. "Everyone has a choice, so why chose to betray the people who stood with you to try and make Omega better than it was?" 

Sidonis sighed, "I wake up every night, sick and sweating, each one of them staring at me, accusing me. But they don't know I tried to fight back... I tried to keep it in but they found my family on Palaven. They threatened to kill them if I didn't help. I tried to warn them, but by the time I got the comm working again, it was too late." 

Shepard listened, hearing Garrus growl in his throat. 

"I'm already a dead man, I knew that when I heard Garrus was still alive from my brother on Palaven before I met Fade. I don't sleep, there is no taste to food." Sidonis shook his head. "I know why Garrus is here, and I know your trying to help me. But I'm ready for what comes next..." 

~ "Move to the left Shepard." ~ 

Shepard sighed. "If that's what you want." 

"Thank you." Sidonis nodded. "No more sleepless nights." 

~ "For either of us, Sidonis." ~ 

Shepard nodded and stepped away, moving towards the walk way and listened as the shot whizzed over head. 

Garrus waited for her at the sky cab, "Why did you question him?" He asked. 

"If you had just shot him, you wouldn't have known he was already a broken man." She told him, "I've been down those roads, Garrus, before I joined the Alliance I was contemplating running away from the Streets another way, there was a way to get away from it all, I just had to get enough credits to book transport to Omega." 

"Why Omega?" He asked as he began the short flight back to the Normandy. 

"I could get a job as a dancer, buy a nice little apartment with a real bed, a little kitchen, warmth and food. Everything I wanted back then. Plus, there wasn't any stigma against Human/Turian relationships." She smiled. "I also knew that on Omega, no one would arrest me for murder or hijacking sky cabs, or other crimes I'd committed as Runt." 

"Is that the only name you had on the Streets?" Garrus asked. 

"It was the nicest name I heard while I was down there." She admitted, "I don't remember if I had a name before that." 

Garrus blinked. "You mean... Marie Jane Shepard isn't your birth name?" He asked. 

She nodded. "Its was a name given to me for the prize of seventy five credits in a name changing office on Earth in the back of a run down video store two days before I joined the Alliance." 

"But how does that explain why you questioned Sidonis?" Garrus asked. 

"Because in another life, that would have been me." She said, "Someone bearing down at me from a high place, ready to kill me because I'd taken something from them, rather than me being the one about to take a life again." 

Garrus shook his head, "I don't see you doing that Marie." 

"I have Garrus and I still live with the memories of it." She said then paused, hearing something on her Omni-tool. "Shepard." she answered. 

~ "Get back to the Normandy right now!" ~ Chakwas ordered. ~ "Tali's in trouble!" ~ 

Garrus increased the speed of the sky cab and they reached the Normandy within a few minutes, Shepard jumping from her seat and all but shoving Jacob out of her way to get to the comms room. 

~ "Commander Shepard, Thank you for responding so quickly." ~ 

"What's going on?" She asked, quickly realizing that the Quarian on the other end wasn't Tali, she was older and her voice was heavy with age. "Where's Tali?" 

~ "My name is Admiral Shala'Raan, Tali'Zorah is my niece. She gave me this comm frequency and asked me to use it only if she were ever in great danger or in trouble and couldn't contact you herself. She is being held in a cell until you arrive at the Flotilla to represent her in a trail. She is accused of Treason by the Admiralty Board and without a captain here willing to speak on her behalf, Tali has asked for your help." ~ 

"Send me the coordinates, EDI call everyone back to the ship, we're leaving!!" Shepard yelled back. "What idiot accused her of treason?" 

~ "She is accused of smuggling active Geth into the Fleet, and while she has admitted to being under the orders of her father, Admiral Rael'Zorah, she assures me that she has only been sending deactivated samples to him, to prove this, she went alone to the Alarei, the ship where her father was working, but she met heavy Geth forces and only just made it out with her life. Please you must help her!" ~ 

"How bad is she hurt?" Shepard asked. 

~ "A bad burn to her suit left her with a burn injury to her back, add that to her smaller injurie she sustained saving the life of a Marine, Kal'Reegar on a mission prior to these accusations and you can understand that she is not in a good way, we've had to place her in a Cell with our best medical equipment but it keeps failing and Tali is struggling to treat the injuries herself." ~ The Admiral explained. ~ "The Admiralty Board will not allow her to leave the cell, the risk of wide spread infection from her injuries is too great, but I can have her brought out to you if you can treat her injuries and insure her safety." ~ 

"I'll be arriving in a shuttle with my ship's doctor and a squad mate to help, tell your Admiralty Board that if I hear one word against that, I'm going to personally rip their hoods off." Shepard explained, "Doctor Chakwas can help Tali." 

~ "Understood Commander and thank you." ~ Admiral Shala'Raan nodded. ~ "A Security and Quarantine team will bring Tali to your doctor when you arrive, dock with the Rayya." ~ She added as the comm shut off. 

"Coming up on the Mass Relay Commander." Joker said and Shepard nodded, heading to her room and changed from her casual cloths into her armour, fastening it tightly. 

"Garrus, want to come help me scare the hell out of the Quarians?" She asked. 

"Sure, as long as I get to record it for Wrex." 

"Deal." Shepard said, "Chakwas-" 

"The shuttle will make a good bay, but I need it sterilized and fitted to work as a Quarantine unite," Chakwas said already working to set up the shuttle for Tali's visit. "Don't you worry about Tali, just make sure her Admirals know I am not going to be sharing medical tips with them." 

"I'll add it to my list of things to yell at them for." 

~~~@~~~ 

When they arrived, Tali was being helped to walk to the shuttle, clearly in pain but on seeing Shepard, she pushed away and limped forwards, trying to walk by herself to greet the Commander. 

Her injuries however would not allow it and Tali stumbled with a pained gasp, Shepard moved faster than any Quarian could and caught her before she hit the ground. "Easy," She soothed, helping Tali to stand up again and let the Quarian lean on her. "You don't have to show me any favour." she said. 

"I didn't know who else to call, Shepard." Tali admitted, shaking in her arms as she was helped to her feet again. "The captain of this ship is on his way. Please, don't be harsh with him... He isn't the one accusing me of this." She said and Shepard saw a small data link uploading to her armour system. 

"But he isn't able to stand with you because he's too afraid to stand up and snarl at the idiots who are accusing you." Shepard said, making sure every Quarian within range heard her before she helped Tali to the Shuttle, "Chakwas set up quarantine shields, vacuum filters and a dozen other things to make the Shuttle a mini-medical bay, you'll be in a sterile place while she tends that burn of yours, I'm not facing these fools you call Admirals until you are fit and ready to do so. and if they have an issue with that, they can come here and tell me themselves." 

"At least someone has a backbone." One of the Quarians stated. "Kal'Reegar Ma'am," he introduced, "It's my fault Tali'Zorah was hurt." 

"If it was your fault, you wouldn't be here talking to me." Shepard told him as she handed Tali over to Chakwas who instantly shooed Garrus out of the shuttle and closed the shuttle to give them privacy as she worked. "Veetor I can see you back there, come over if you have something say." Shepard added in a much calmer and gentler voice than she had used before. 

"I wanted to help Tali'Zorah... but I am still not very well." The younger Quarian admitted as he came over, wringing his hands. 

"It's enough that you showed up to support her." Shepard assured. 

"Captain Shepard." A new voice stated and both Veetor and Reegar stepped aside as an older Quarian arrived, "I am Captain Kar'Danna vas Rayya. Tali'Zorah has told me a lot about you. I wish we could be meeting under more pleasant circumstances." 

"I never made the rank of Captain. And given the mission we're on, I likely never will." Shepard said. 

"But you are the one who commands the Normandy, responsible for the lives of everyone aboard. That entitles you to respect amongst our people." The Quarian Captain said. "'May you stand between you crew and harm as you lead them-" 

"-As you lead them through the empty quarters of the stars.' Keelah se'lai." Shepard finished, "I know the blessings of your people, Captain, but do not mistake my coming here on Tali's behalf as her Advocate as short sightedness to the cruelty already done against her. She risked her life to prove her innocence in this ridicules trial and to save the lives of two fellow Quarians, yet instead of thanking her, she is on trial and stripped of your ship's name before I arrive. The only reason I haven't verbally ripped you apart is because Tali asked me not to be harsh on you." 

"I understand. As you know as the Commander of the Normandy, you voice carries weight here, and the hearing will begin as soon as you reach the garden plaza, they are waiting for you." 

"They can keep waiting until I know Tali is going to be alright. And you can tell them that if they have any issue with the way I work, they can air lock themselves." 

"I doubt that would change anything, Shepard." the same elderly voice from the comms said as Admiral Raan arrived, waving the captain and other Quarians away. "Please, understand that while the accusation against Tali are serious, I take no comfort in knowing that her innocence of quilt is not the main concern of the other Admirals." 

"What do you mean?" Shepard asked. 

"As I told you on the comms, Rael'Zorah, Tali's father was aboard the Alarei. She found his body there and has not been able to see him since he was placed in his coffin. On top of that, the Admiralty Board is trying to decide where our focus should lie in light of what evidence she did give us, manifestos of everything her father had been sent that proved she had never sent him anything active or threatening, but somehow Geth became active on the Alarei and we lost many people there. Some say we should focus on colonial development, finding a new home world and colony that could support us as nothing Tali brought back suggested we could make a new weapon against the Geth to fight them, but there are others who claim with a little work, they can complete Rael'Zorah's work and give us an edge to defeat the Geth when we go about retaking the home world." 

"War with the Geth?" Garrus asked. "Bad idea. Even with the biggest fleet at your hands." 

"We grow tired of wondering the stars and we have paid enough for the mistake we made. I'm not giving my opinion, but that's the way the wind is blowing." The old Admiral said. 

~ "Commander, Tali's injuries need time to heal before I can release her, but she is well enough to speak." ~ Chakwas said over the comms. 

"I hear you Tali." 

~ "Shepard please, do not wait around for me, I will only slow you down." ~ Tali said, pain still evident in her words and she sounded a more like herself, not a frightened child. ~ "I can hear everything over the commlinks that is said to me and the Channel can be opened to the loudspeakers in the Garden Plaza, I'll be out of here soon, but if you wait too long they will try me in abstinence." ~ 

"Fine, but so help me Tali, one of them says a bad word about you and I'll take a page from Liara's book and rip them all a verbal new one." 

~ "I understand." ~ Tali assured. ~ "Thank you Shepard." ~ 

~~~@~~~ 

He took a long drag of his cigarette, dumbing his fingers as he read over the reports. 

Shepard was allowing her crew to upgrade and improve areas of the ship, spending every credit she could spare on making sure the ship not only had weapons and stealth to the highest level, but also made sure they had weapons, food supplies and everything else that might be needed for a long-haul mission. 

And yet she herself wasn't getting anything, no new armour, no weapons, no guns... nothing. 

Something was wrong. 

But he couldn't call and ask, she would shut him out as she always did. But somehow, he had to find out what was going on inside her head. 

~~~@~~~ 

Garrus was keeping score and despite his best efforts, he was smiling as he did it. Shepard was a Solider, it was expected that she, like any solider would have a variety of curses for those few occasions when she had to be violent with words. 

No one and Garrus meant no one, was prepared for the onslaught of Quarian, Turian, Krogan, Batarian and even the odd Asari curse that went flying at the Admiralty board at the first mention of Exiling Tali'Zorah for the loss of the Lab ship her father had been working on, despite the clear lack of any proof that Tali had been anything to do with it, even after Tali had gone to the Alarei alone and risked her life to bring some evidence to prove her innocence. 

Kal'Reegar had joined him about mid-way through Shepard's 'talk' and if Garrus had to guess, the Quarian was shocked and amazed that a human dared to speak so boldly to the Quarians and that she spoke on behalf of a Quarian. 

"Has she done this before?" Reegar asked. 

"Verbally destroy three people?" Garrus asked, "She's ripped the Citadel Council apart a few times, but they usually don't get the better half of her insult book thrown at them." He assured and paused hearing his comm go off. "Garrus." 

~ "Tali is on her way, better calm Shepard down." ~ Chakwas stated. 

"Aye ma'am." Garrus said and waited for Shepard to finish her verbal assault on Admiral Xen before he stepped up and put a hand to her shoulder. "Tali's on her way in." 

"Lucky for the three of you." Shepard growled and the gathered crowd parted easily to allow Tali to join Shepard. "Better?" 

"Much, Doctor Chakwas was able to provide an effective treatment to my burns and the supplies to repair my suit." Tali said, the pain gone from her voice as she turned to face the Admiralty Board. "And thank you for not shooting the Admiralty Board." 

"I still might shoot two of them." Shepard remarked with a pointed glare at Admirals Xen and Koris. "No one treats my friends like pawns for their own damn gains." 

Admiral Raan made a small sound before looking to the Commander and Tali, "As you have pointed out Commander, we have no proof before us that Tali is or is not directly involved in the terrible event that happened aboard the Alarei and while we thank her for her bravery in wiping out the Geth aboard the Alarei, nothing she has brought back can be used to prove or disprove Tali's quilt or innocence. The Admiralty Board are at a dead lock." 

"Dead lock my ass," Shepard snapped, "You're the only one who doesn't have a side agender." 

"How can you know that?" Admiral Xen asked. 

"When I arrived Tali was there to greet me, and when she fell I caught her, she's transferred everything she had on all of you to me via my privet link. I know each one of you as much as she and her father did." Shepard said and to prove her point, held out her Omni tool as the files opened and scrolled freely in front of her. "This trial is just one big show to try and boost your own damn agender and arguments." 

"The Commander is right." Kal'Reegar nodded. "Tali'Zorah risked her life to save mine and she brought Veetor home when he was sick. She could have died taking back the Alarei! She wouldn't risk the lives of everyone on the Flotilla!" 

"And Tali helped us fight Sovereign, Saren and the Geth to save the Citadel," Garrus said, "What more Evidence do you need?" 

"I fail to see what relevance-" Admiral Koris began to say only to gasp as Shepard grabbed his by the neck and yanked him down. 

"You want people to Sympathize with the Geth! Han'Gerral wants to go to war! and that insane bitch wants to try and hack the Geth back into slavery! None of you care about Tail'Zorah vas Normandy." She snarled, "She knows more about the Geth that any one of you, more than any Quarian alive! You should be listening to her not putting her on a trail for something she would never do! And you, Admiral Shala'Raan, you have no place to stand over your own Niece after she just lost her father! All any of you care about is yourselves and how you can make yourselves look better to the Fleet around you." 

"Shepard, please..." Tali pleaded softly, "Let him go before he rips his suit." she added and Shepard at last released Admiral Koris. 

"You want War with the Geth, you'll be going on a suicide run, you have nowhere near the resources or weapons to withstand and attack, even I can see that from here, you're none combatant people will die meaninglessly if you try to fight for your home world now. The Quarian race will be wiped out faster than the Batarians in the Bahak System, the only difference will be that you chose to die like fools rather than fight smart." Shepard finished with a harsh glare at the Admiralty Board. 

For a long time, no one dared to speak at all, and then, with a soft sigh, Admiral Xen cast her vote, soon followed by Han'Gerral and at last Koris. 

"Tali'Zorah, in light of the service history provided to us, and lack of evidence to convict you of any crime, you are cleared of all Charges." Admiral Shala'Raan said, "Go in peace. Keelah se'lai." 

Tali nodded and turned to Shepard as the gathered Quarians began to mill out. "I've never had someone speak like that on my behalf, Shepard." She said, "Not even my father... I can't thank you enough... despite everything that happened... Thank you." 

"I can always keep going and likely get you exiled, if you want?" She said and offered Tali her hand. 

"Ha, no thanks, I think you scared the Admiralty enough already. Even if it is fun to watch you shout." Tali admitted taking Shepard hand and smiling though her mask. 

"You deserved better than what you got during this Tali, going in to the Alarei yourself and finding your father that way, and then not being given time to mourn before they throw you in a trial? That's not right or fair." She said. 

"My father would be glad that I mourned him by blowing up the Geth, and I have better." She smiled. "I got you. If you'll take me, I'd like to join the Normandy Crew again. After this, I don't think staying on the Rayya will help me heal." 

"There is always a place for you in my crew Tali'Zorah vas Normandy," Shepard smiled, "Just don't horde the blankets this time." she said heading up the stairs. 

"Oh, like you minded that Garrus was always coming to visit you for more?" Tali asked following her. 

"I will tell Wrex you stole his shot gun." Shepard chuckled. 

"I'm not denying I did." Tali reminded, "I'm just borrowing it on a long-term agreement." 

"Translation until he realizes you have it and comes a calling." 

"Maybe." Tali smiled, "But he has to know where I am first." 

"Shepard has him on speed dial." Garrus reminded as they boarded the shuttle. "Welcome back Tali."


	6. Chapter 6  Hell Hath no Fury.

Chapter 6   
Hell Hath no Fury. 

"I still don't like the idea, Shepard." Tali said from her place at eth dinner table, stirring her drink. 

"I am not asking anyone to like the idea Tali, I am asking for everyone's opinion." Shepard said, taking a drink of her water. "We have the IFF drive and we also now have Legion, who despite being Geth and being allowed to stay active on the ship, has done nothing but offer their best information to aid us against the Reapers and other Geth." 

"You said yourself, the Geth have not been studied since they drove you from your home world, so we can't just ask EDI to give us proof that what Legion tells us is true or false." Garrus added between mouthfuls of food. "He might turn out to be a useful source of information for your people if what he is saying turns out to be truthful." 

"But why keep it online?" Jacob asked. 

"Because I'd rather have a Geth willing to talk to me and answer questions, rather than risk someone accidently crossing a wire and killing the only real source of information we have into the Reaper's mind sets and the way the Geth work now compared to back then." Shepard said. 

"Has it left the room it woke up in?" Grunt asked, into his meat. 

"Not once." Nihlus said. 

"EDI reports that he mostly just sits in a state of light shut down when Shepard isn't there to ask questions, there's no attempt to hack any of the Normandy Systems and when Legion does wake up, it is usually when someone is close to the room, as if he's waiting for them to come in or leave before he stands up or goes back into light shut down." Joker said. 

"So he is aware when there is someone close to him?" Chakwas asked. 

"Seems to be." Miranda nodded. Though I find it strange how he addresses everyone. Its name first then rank or position." 

"They want to prove they are not against us." Shepard pointed out, "People who know you call you by name when they talk to you, however, because we are aboard a ship, rank and position are also important. The most impotent thing to a person is their name, thus, name first, then rank." 

"Still its wired." Joker said. 

"What do you plan to do once the IFF is installed?" Kasumi asked, "Do we go face the Collectors then?" 

"No, there are still somethings I want upgraded on the ship before we go, Tali, how are the shield upgraded coming?" 

"They are almost done, I just need a little more time to fix a few coding streams and they will be done." Tali nodded. 

"Garrus, Grunt, weapons?" 

"Everything I can do is done Battle Master, we have the best weapons the ship can hold for close range." Grunt nodded in pride. 

"Same here, though it took a little longer than I thought." Garrus admitted. 

"Samara, Thane, Jack?" 

"We have done all we can and our Biotics have increased well." Samara admitted, Thane nodding agreement. 

"Still can't believe you're letting me train so much Shepard." Jack admitted. 

"If we're going to survive, I need everyone as strong as they can be, "Kasumi, how about you and Zaeed?" 

"We'll live through it," Kasumi nodded. "Might not like going in there though, given what you saw on the ship." 

"It's not going to be a pretty sight, but we have to go in and make sure we stop them." 

"So, we're just going to go in, blindly, dock on the Collector home with what amounts to a small army of guns and one very fast moving well shielded ship, and prey to whomever is listening that we take out this Harbinger guy and stop them." Jacob asked. 

"Basically." Shepard nodded, moving to wash her plate in the sink. "And try to save every one we can find there as well." 

"There may not be anyone to save." Mordin said. "Did research on Collector/Prothean link. Reapers enslave Protheans, replace what is not useful with technology. Make Protheans easy to control. No organs, no soul, all replaced by tech. Nothing left of truth Prothean people now, Collectors just final insult." 

"So there is no way to save them?" Chakwas asked. 

"None." Mordin shook his head. "Would like to have tried, but without soul, no art, no culture. No life." 

"Never took you for an art lover." Nihlus said. 

"Art. Culture. All are important to each race, helps express history, interests and fascinate newcomers to learn more, always good to see new and strange art forms or read new works, keep culture growing and expanding." Mordin admitted. 

Shepard smiled, listening carefully as her crew enjoyed a good meal and drinks together, they would be leaving on a shuttle soon to go gather the last resources to finish the upgrades to the ship, while EDI and Joker thoroughly scanned the IFF to find out why it was making some other systems go haywire. 

"Shepard, may I speak to you alone?" Tali asked after a short talk about art came up between everyone at the table. 

She nodded and followed Tali to a quiet corner of the room. "Are you sure it was a good idea to re-write the Heretic Geth?" 

"I don't know, Tali, but maybe sparing them means later on we could find something that will help the War with the Geth come to a peaceful end, where no one has to fight and no pone feels threatened." Shepard said. 

"What do you mean?" Tali asked. 

"As much as I don't like the facts, Legion has told us everything they can when we ask them a question and the answers on Organics are true. If what they have told us about the Geth sharing memories and data is also true, then by sparing the Geth and giving them a second chance, maybe like the Heretics who chose to follow the Reapers, some Geth will see that there is a way to coexist with Organics and not become a threat or start a war." 

"I, suppose that makes sense, but how long do you think that might take? The Quarian race as a whole has already spent centuries adrift, I doubt they will wait much longer." Tali said. 

"We'll figure it out Tali, somehow." Shepard assured. "Everyone ready to go?" She asked. 

"Aye ma'am." Jacob nodded. 

"Then suit up and let's go." Shepard said, "I want this done before we leave for the Omega 4 relay." 

~~~@~~~ 

~ "Mr. Joker?" ~ A young voice asked over the comms and Joker smiled. ~ "EDI? Hello? Can anyone hear me?" ~ 

"We can hear you Miss Kirana." EDI assured. "We also have your ship on scanners." 

~ "Hello EDI," ~ Amber Ruby answered, only to be cut off by Jane's younger voice once again. 

~ "Is my sister there?" ~ The child asked. ~ "We brought something special for her from Liara." ~ 

"The Commander is on a shuttle heading for a mission right now. But she'd have me on extra trips to see Chakwas if I turned you away Ma'am. I'll send a message to her and let her know you are here so she'll hurry back." Joker offered. 

~ "Thank you Joker. Now Jane will you please sit down and strap on your belt." ~ Madam Ruby said as the small shuttle flew alongside the Normandy. 

Chakwas arrived to greet the two of them and Offered them a tour while they waited for Shepard. 

In the meantime, EDI and Joker carefully looked over the data from the IFF scans. "Looks like a lot of radiation bleed and white noise to me," Joker said, "You sure your readings aren't off?" 

"I have detected a signal embedded in the static." EDI said, "We are transmitting the Normandy's location." 

"Transmitting to whom?" Joker asked. 

"What's that?" Jane asked as the ship alarms started to go off. 

"Everyone battle stations!" Someone yelled and Chakwas grabbed Jane and Amber and hurried them towards the escape pods only to have her path blocked by a Collector. 

"What is that?!" Jane yelled in fear as the thing grabbed Amber and tried to grab her, only for one of the crew mates to open fire and knock the Collector away, scaring Jane into dripping the small box she was carrying outside the medical bay doors. "What's happening?" Jane asked again, shaking as Chakwas lifted her up to carry her away. 

"You must be brave, Jane." Chakwas said holding the child to her chest as she realized she was surrounded. "Shepard is on her way, she'll help us." 

Jane nodded and clung to the doctor as the thin chain around her neck. "Shepard..." 

~~~@~~~ 

Shepard felt cold shivers run over her body and stiffened, going wide eyed as she felt a cold hand squeezing her heart tightly. 

"Shepard?" Kasumi asked, seeing the colour fade from Shepard's face. 

"Turn us around Jacob." Shepard said. 

"What's wrong?" 

~ "Commander Shepard," ~ EDI stated over the comms, ~ "The Collectors have taken the Crew of the Normandy. Mr. Moreau was able to help me regain control of the ship, but we were unable to save the crew." ~ 

"Where are Jane and Amber?" Shepard demanded. 

~ "I'm sorry Commander." ~ Joker's broken voice answered over the comms. ~ "I wasn't fast enough... I'm sorry." ~ 

"Get your ass in the pilot seat of the Normandy, punch in the Omega 4 Relay coordinates and wait for us to get back. We'll finish upgrades on the way there." Shepard said. "Jacob, I want us back on the Normandy, NOW!!!" 

"Aye-aye ma'am." Jacob nodded and even Legion tightened their grip on the harness as Jacob swung the ship around in a tight arch and headed towards the Normandy's new location. 

"Give me the run-down EDI." Shepard demanded. 

~ "In order to properly reclaim the ship from Collector Control, I requested Joker's help in accessing all the Ships systems, he was spared being taken by the Collectors only because they could not find him in the maintenance ducks and once he had unlocked my systems I was able to purge the systems and space the remaining Collectors on the ship. We are clear to leave for the Omega 4 Relay as soon as you are aboard." ~ 

"He unshackled you?" Miranda snarled. 

"I don't care if he gave her the codes to unlock every door in the galaxy." Shepard said, "is he ok?" 

~ "He may have suffered stress fractures to his legs, but he assures me he has taken pills to cope with the pain until Doctor Chakwas is able to check him over." ~ She assured as the Normandy came into view. 

"Then get us to the Omega 4 Relay." Shepard growled as they boarded the Normandy. 

~ "Please confirm location by access the Galaxy map, once we are on route, we are committed." ~ EDI explained as Shepard exited the shuttle and found every door open for her. 

"Shepard." Nihlus called as he came over to the map, holding a crushed box in his hands. "Jane's handwriting." 

Shepard looked at the box, the words, 'For my big sister. Love Jane,' written in elegant blue ink and while the box itself was light, something inside felt familiar, she opened the box and felt her chest tighten at the neatly restored blade and handle of her knife. 

Fang. Carefully repaired and fixed as she had been by Cerberus. 

"Ready to go?" Nihlus asked. 

"Hell is going to look like a paradise when I get done in that place." Shepard said, putting Fang into her left side armour plating. "Joker." 

"Aye-Aye ma'am." Joker nodded, plotting their course. 

~~~@~~~ 

Garrus found her in the loft, sweating and panting as she did her work out without pause, her armour laid out on the desk, cleaned and polished ready to be worn when they reached the Relay while she worked her body to its limits. 

"You couldn't have known the Collectors would come after the crew when we tested the IFF." He told her. 

"I should have left someone here, someone who could fight. I shouldn't have left the ship alone." She hissed through gritted teeth. "Rookie mistake, damn it!" she snarled as her arms at last gave out under her and she fell to the floor. "Stupid, stupid girl." 

"You aren't stupid Shepard." He said, kneeling to help her move, gently pulling her into his arms and cradling her against his chest as she cried and clung to him. "Self-destructive, stubborn, brave, loyal, beautiful, talented, caring and a thousand more things I can't name, but not stupid." 

"Beautiful?" She asked, though tears were rolling down her face. 

"That was on my list." Garrus said. "and while this isn't the time to admit I fell head over scales for you when we were chasing Saren, it is the right time to make sure you don't get so worked up and blame yourself that you burn yourself out before we get through the Relay." He added. 

She smiled. "For someone who was so shy he couldn't bring himself to start a conversation with me back then, you've gotten bolder." She said, glad that he was wearing his civil clothing for the time, it made it easier for her to hold him. "Your armour getting cleaned up too?" She asked, resting her head against his chest plating. 

"Can't go into a fight alongside you with dirty armour." Garrus smiled as his hand already petting her hair. 

They sat that way for a long while, before the tears at last stopped and Shepard let out a shaky breath. "How did it get so fucked up Garrus?" 

"I don't know, Marie, but I do know that we'll figure it out and make it right again." He said. "I also know you were planning to leave for the Omega 4 Relay alone." 

She pushed back and looked up at him with shock. "How did-? did Samara tell you?" 

"No one told me Marie." Garrus said, "I'm Turian I can smell the changes in hormones humans give out when they are under stress and I can see the changes in behavior. I also know your habits, you never spent more than twenty to thirty credits a week to buy a restock of Moonshine from Omega. I saw that you started to spend more then seventy credits, so I did what C-sec taught me to do and I looked at the evidence." 

"How did you know I was planning leave on my own?" 

"You rigged the 'repairing' Shuttle with enough weapons, explosives and shields to fight a war, you bought every kind of detonation devices and wires to tell me you were rigging the shuttle as a bomb just in case you didn't make it." Garrus said. "You would have either gone through the relay and fought to your own death, rigging the shuttle to auto pilot itself back to the Relay, set to explode and destroy it, trapping the Collectors in the Core." 

"Now I know you talked to someone." Shepard said, "No one but Samara knew about this and I told her in secrete." 

"I asked EDI to scan the inside of the shuttle while you were 'repairing it', she told me what was inside it." Garrus admitted lightly cupping her face with one hand. "Why would you try to do this alone Marie?" 

"Because I was the one Cerberus brought back to do this... I shouldn't have to drag others into my mess." She said, "I can't ask people to die for Garrus. No when someone pulled strings to bring me back. I have no right to ask you to follow me again." 

"But why keep it from us?" Garrus asked, "From me? 

"You've have stopped me if you knew, I had to keep it secret." She said, "If this was going to be a suicide mission then I needed to know that the people I cared about were safe, if need be, I could have ordered Joker and EDI back through the Relay and bought you the time you needed." 

"Do you really think I'd leave you to do that?" he asked, lightly pulling her closer again. "You are the reason everyone is here Marie, no one feels we owe you anything. We chose to be here. the payment Cerberus offered was a bonus but when I saw you coming for me on Omega... I didn't need credits sign on the dotted line." 

"And the others?" Shepard asked. 

"Miranda and Jacob maybe, but the rest of us are here for you." Garrus assured, rubbing his thumb against her cheek lightly. "We're not going to let you do this alone and if we all die out there, then at least this time you don't die alone." 

"You're meant to make me feel better, not remind me we could all die out there." She told him, at last finding the strength to stand up again. 

"Would you believe me if I told you we're going to go in there, save every human colonist we found and rescue our crew, then after we get back home, you and I could steal a ship of our own and fly off into the stars together, find a nice warm planet with sandy beaches and start our own family." he said with a light chuckle as he stood up. 

"Keep talking like that Garrus, and I'm tempted to call Primach Fedorian and ask permission to have the Vakarian clan mark branded on my face." She said splashing her face with cool water and removing the vest top she'd been wearing 

"You would go through that for me?" Garrus asked, catching her hand in his before she could reach for a clean vest top. 

"I haven't been asking you to stay in my quarters every night since I helped Samara kill Morinth just because you keep my bed warm and help me sleep you know." She smiled, "Not even Jade was allowed to sleep in my bed for so long. You were here because I want you here Garrus." 

"And all this time I was worried I would be insulting you if I asked how you felt about Turian markings." Garrus smiled, his free arm coming around her back to hold her tighter against him. "Did you know how many times I wanted to-" 

Shepard rocked up on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing him backwards with enough force that he fell over with her onto the bed as she cut his question of with the physical answer, moaning as he quickly took control and thrust his tongue past her lips and dragged his talons down her back feeling her press closer to him. 

Reluctantly, they broke apart, both for need of air and because Garrus knew he'd drawn blood from her back. 

"Kiss me senseless?" She finished his question. "Yes, I knew and every time you didn't I thought it was because you thought I was too tired." she admitted, "So, worth the wait?" 

"If we had more time, I'd give you a full and detailed answer to that question while making up for all those nights I wanted to ravish you." Garrus growled, clutching her close. "Why did we wait so long?" 

"Because we're both too stubborn to admit we're hopeless romantics?" She offered. 

~ "Commander. We are arriving at the Omega Relay." ~ EDI stated from her place and Shepard shook her head. 

"And we also have very busy lives." Garrus said, gently pushing his forehead against hers. 

"Do me a favor Garrus?" She asked, "If we get out of this mess alive. No more waiting." She said, "Just drag me away from the crows and cheering, lock the damn door and don't open it again until neither of us can walk straight." 

"Just remember you asked for that when I have you" Garrus nodded, reluctantly letting her slip from his hold. 

~~~@~~~ 

Shepard was coming. Chakwas said Shepard was coming. She didn't have to be scared. Shepard was coming. Shepard would come and make the monsters go away, she would make the bad things go away and keep her safe... 

"Close your eyes Jane!" Amber pleaded from her pod across from Jane's, tears streaming down her face. "Close them now!" 

Jane did, but it didn't stop her hearing the screams and sobs as the monsters hurt Amber, taking her away like they had other people in the pods around her, killed by the tiny robots that swarmed the pod. 

"Shepard..." She pleaded. "Please hurry." she sobbed, hearing more people screaming around her, "Shepard..." 

~~~@~~~ 

They made it through the relay, and after navigating the not so empty debris field, the Collector ship attempted to bring them down with the same Cannon Fire it had used before. 

"Everyone hang on!" Shepard growled, "Joker rip that ship in half!" 

"Hitting it!" Joker cheered as the Normandy's main guns fired on the ship. 

"Swing us in close and finish it." Shepard ordered, "then find us a landing zone on that damn thing." 

"Got it. Whoa!" Joker yelled as the Normandy rocked with the back lash of an explosion from the ship. "EDI?" 

"Mass effect shielding is off line, systems over loading." EDI explained. "All hands brace for impact!" She warned then a few seconds later they slammed into the side of the Collector Base. 

"Status report?" Miranda called. 

"Joker are you alright?" Shepard asked. 

"Broke a rib. Or all of them." Joker winced. "EDI?" 

"You have indeed broken two ribs, Jeff, but beyond that you have only sever bruising." EDI said. 

"Normandy systems?" Shepard asked. 

"Multiple core systems over loaded from the crash, it will take time to reboot the ship's systems." EDI explained. "I do not detect an internal security network. it is possible they didn't expect anyone to reach the Base." 

"So they may not know we are alive." Shepard said. 

"What's the plan?" Nihlus asked as they gathered in the briefing room as EDI opened up a scanned image of the Collector Base. 

"Nihlus stay here and protect Joker. Jacob, take a team up the left, I'll take the right. Tali and Legion, you go through this vent shaft here and open the doors for us." Shepard said as they looked over the base. "The crew and colonies will be here, right in the center." 

"So that's where we are going to meet up again?" Jacob asked. 

"And we kill anything that gets in the way." Jack said. 

Shepard nodded, "Move out." 

They made it a few steps inside the base before the first Collectors found them, and within seconds, one of them was glowing like fire. 

"You will know pain Shepard." Harbinger told her. 

"Not before you and every Collector here is dead." Shepard snarled and unloaded her pistol into the Collectors as the charged her and her team. "Take 'em out!!" 

~~~@~~~ 

"Oh god-Aaaaahhh!!" Someone screamed and Jane covered her ears to try and stop the screams, tears rolling down her face as she heard more screams close to her. 

"Let me out! Please!! Let me out!" Jane begged. 

"Jane!" A familiar voice yelled and she looked up to see Kasumi hurrying over to her pod with other people she didn't know. "Jane are you alright, sweetie?" 

"Shepard we found Jane!" Jacob yelled into the comms. 

~ "Get her out of that damn pod! Now!!" ~ Shepard yelled, ~ "We just saw what they do, get her out!!" ~ 

"Let me out!!!" Jane begged as Kasumi and Miranda pulled and prided at the pod with all their strength, "Hurry!" 

"Grunt, break this fucker open!!" Kasumi yelled over the sudden gun shots. 

"Cover your face!" The Korgan yelled and Jane brought her arms up to protect her face as Grunt head butted the glass shattering it open, then with gentlest care he lifted her out of the pod and covered her with his huge bulk. 

"Give her to me," Thane said, already carefully taking the child from Grunt and quickly took cover behind a steady wall, using one hand to land well aimed kill shots as the other kept Jane close and shielded with his biotics as they moved swiftly along the path. 

"Where's my sister?" She asked in tears as Thane carried her, carefully keeping to the protected cover Grunt and Kasumi offered. "Where's Marie?!" 

"On the other side of the doors, we'll meet up with her soon." Thane assured taking cover with Tali as her fingers flew over the static filled keys. 

~ "Legion! Tali! Get those doors open!!" ~ 

"Shepard!" Jane cried. 

~ "Hang on Jane I'll be right there!" ~ Shepard assured her softly. ~ "Where's Amber?" ~ 

"The monsters took her away." Jane sobbed, clinging to Thane as the Drell ducked through the doors as they opened and found cover, still using a biotic shield to protect the child as he fired shots back at the Collectors trying to grab them. 

The doors at last slammed shut and Thane gently set Jane on her own feet again as they heard more pods being smashed and broken open, people sobbing and thanking the rest of the crew as Shepard herself ripped the top off another pod to free Doctor Chakwas from inside it. 

"Marie!" Jane cried, running to the Commander and throwing herself at the older woman, clinging to her tightly as she sobbed. "You came!" 

"I never leave anyone behind." Shepard promised, holding Jane tightly as she shook violently in her arms. "Is everyone out?" She asked the others. 

"We couldn't find a lot of the crew... but we found this in the pod across from the child's" Samara said, holding something round and jade in her hand for Shepard to see. 

"Amber! And the other people... they, they..." Jane tried to say though her tears. 

"Shhh, I know, I know what they did." She said, taking the ring from Samara and putting it in Jane's pocket. "We're getting you out of this place, all of you, but you have to be brave for me. Can you do that?" She asked. 

"I don't want to leave you." Jane said. "The Monsters-" 

"You can't stay with me Jane. This place isn't safe and if they catch you again, they will kill you just to get at me. I need you to go with Mordin and Chakwas back to the Normandy," Shepard said. 

"But-" Jane began and then screamed as the Collectors swarmed their place. 

"These things just keep coming!" Jacob yelled throwing his own Biotic field out to catch the Collectors in it for a few seconds while Garrus, Kasumi, Zaeed and Grunt took shots at them. 

Shepard growled, holding Jane close as she fired her pistol at the nearest Collectors. "Mordin! Get them out of here!" She yelled and handed Jane to Chakwas, "Go!" 

"Shepard!?" Jane screamed seeing the Collector swarms coming down. 

"Keep her safe Chakwas!" Shepard yelled rolling into the large dome like bubble Samara had made to cover Mordin's retreat. "No one else dies today!" She snarled. 

"Aye!" 

~~~@~~~ 

"She went through?" Sparatus asked. 

"The signal is there, faint but there." Anderson nodded, looking at the tiny, flickering blip that was the Normandy. 

"Will she survive?" Tevos asked. 

"If she doesn't her crew will, and they will not be silenced again." Verlan remarked, "She has made sure of that with her actions once again." 

"Then we don't ignore it this time." Tevos said, "We prepare and we wait for them and when they arrive, we fight." 

"And how do we know they will come?" 

"Because she will bring us back proof you can't deny." Anderson said. "Recorded files, samples and data scans, everything you said she'd never find." 

"Is that before or after Cerberus gets it?" 

"Cerberus has no control over Shepard." Anderson stated coldly. 

~~~@~~~ 

~ "Shepard I have tracked the tubing network," ~ EDI said as the Commander pulled Miranda out of the line of fire and covered Garrus and Tali as they followed her onto a hovering platform. 

"What can you tell me EDI?" She asked, knowing that Jane was safely strapped into the Co-pilot seat with EDI while Chakwas tended Joker's injuries next to her. 

~ "The tubes are feeding into some kind of massive super-structure at the main core, it is emitting both organic and non-organic energy signatures." ~ 

"She's not kidding." Tali gasped as she saw what was ahead of them. 

"Spirits." Garrus said in shock. 

"It’s a Human Reaper." Shepard said. "An insult." She winced her eyes fluttering as visions ripped through her mind. "They're making them in the image of the race that makes them..." 

~ "I cannot tell you is it has awareness Shepard, but I can tell you that this is still in very early stages of creation, an embryo in human terms." ~ EDI explained, ~ "It will take millions if not billions to try and finish this. It is impossible to know for sure. Process can be stopped by destroying the fluid tanks that are feeding the Reaper are a weakness, destroying them will make the Reaper fall." ~ 

~ "Be careful Sister." ~ Jane pleaded. 

Shepard smiled. "Always." She nodded. 

"Incoming!!" Garrus warned. 

"The glowing ones back!!" Tali added. 

"Then we'll do this my way." Shepard said, "EDI send the rigged Shuttle in here! You two hit the smaller tubes!" 

"What about you?" Garrus asked. 

"I'm going to be a real bitch." She said, turning to the glowing Collector. "You want to go down the same way Sovereign did Harbinger?" She hissed taking Fang from her hip plates. "Come on!" 

~~~@~~~ 

"Liara?" 

"She should have contacted someone by now. She wouldn't just go through and go silent." Liara said pacing back and forth frantically as she waited for some kind of signal from Shepard. "Come on Shepard... where are you?" 

"Maybe she's transmitting on a new frequency? To be heard over the static?" Feron offered, scanning the channels as they both watched the faint blip on the screen. "she is in the core of the galaxy." 

Liara hoped it was just that, but something deep inside made her feel uneasy and scared, Shepard was beyond her reach now and nothing not even the vast network the of the Shadow Broker could save her if things went badly. 

~~~@~~~ 

~ "Shuttle inbound. landing in three... two... one..." ~ EDI warned and Shepard kicked Harbinger off the edge of the platforms as the Reaper gave a painful haunting scream and fell down in short falls as the structures fell under its weight. 

~ "Shepard! We're holding but they keep coming!" ~ Thane told her, having to yell over the comms to be heard over the shooting. ~ "A quick exit is preferable!" ~ 

"Head for the Normandy! Joker, prep the engines and get ready to fly fast. I'm rigging this place to go sky high." Shepard said as the shuttle opened and Tali opened the Core of the plat form. 

Shepard took several heavy cables and wires from the shuttle, working with Tali to rig the shuttle and core together to insure the base blew up. 

~ "Uh, Commander, the Illusive Man is calling, EDI's patching him through." ~ Joker said. 

~ "Shepard." ~ he greeted, ~ "You've done the impossible once again." ~ 

"People died for this, and I'm not finished." Shepard hissed at him. 

~ "I understand. There sacrifices will not be forgotten. You did what you could do and you acquired the Collector Base. I've looked over the schematics EDI uploaded and a timed radiation blast will kill the Collectors but leave the machinery and technology intact." ~ 

"Fuck you." Shepard said, "They liquefied my sister in law and they killed millions of people to make this monster hive. I am not leaving this place standing." 

~ "Don't be short sighted, Shepard, the things we could learn from this place could save humanity. This base is a gift, we can't destroy it!" ~ He snarled. ~ "I brought you back so you could keep fighting for what you believe in, your own friend handed you to me for the sole purpose of bringing you back and look why you have accomplished." ~ 

"Liara bought me to you because you gave her no other choice. Don't think I don't know you had Miranda and Jacob twist Feron's arm into helping her." Shepard snarled. 

~ "Think of the potential this place has to offer." ~ 

"I'm not letting your greed and stupidity change my mind. This place is going up in smoke." Shepard said, "Shut this fucker up." 

~ "Shepard! Think about what's at stake! About all Cerberus has done for you! You-" ~ Garrus shut the comm line down. 

"Here," Tali smiled handing Shepard a large EMP device. "This will give it some added oomph." 

"Good." Shepard smiled, finishing her work and nodded. "We've got ten minutes to get out of here." 

"Then let's go-wha!?" Tali gasped as the platforms began to shake and rattle under their feet. 

"It's not dead!" Garrus yelled pulling Shepard and Tali into cover as a heated blast skimmed overhead, close enough to burn out their shields. "Shit!" 

"You will know pain Shepard!" Harbinger snarled out again and Shepard winced. 

"Ok, plan B." She said. 

"B?" Tali asked. 

"Shoot everything that isn't friendly until it stays dead!" Shepard yelled and pulled the Collector Partial Beam from her back. 

~~~@~~~ 

"Marie? Marie can you hear me? Joker she's not answering!" Jane yelled over the gunshots as Grunt, Thane and Zaeed covered Jack, Samara and Miranda’s retreat, Jack helping Jacob walk as Kasumi stumbled inside the ship, holding her limp arm. 

"Five minutes until detonation," EDI explained. 

"EDI talk to me!" Joker winced feeling the engines shake and groan behind him. 

"Shepard is alive, but she is unable to respond, it maybe that static is causing interference." 

"Boost signals and channel scan." Joker said, "Commander? Shepard can you hear me? Commander Shepard do you copy?" 

~~~@~~~ 

~ "Commander?" ~ 

~ "Shepard come on!" ~ 

~ "Answer the comms, damn it!" ~ 

"I'm here." She coughed. "is everyone alright?" she asked shoving the ruble off her back and helping Garrus back to his feet. 

~ "All survivors are aboard, we're waiting on you." ~ Joker assured. 

"We gotta go!" Garrus yelled as a swarm gathered and he heaving Tali up over her back and half carried the Quarian as the three of them made their way towards the way out, following the signal on their armour maps to find the Normandy as they took shots and dropped grenades   
back into the Collector ranks that swarmed after them 

"Run!" Shepard ordered. 

~ "Down." ~ Thane warned and Shepard ducked as a shot went over her head, she looked up and smiled seeing Thane at the air lock with Samara, the Justicar throwing her Biotic at ever Collector that got too close as Thane made swift kills to any that Samara missed. 

"Jump!" Samara yelled in warning as the ground began to fall away from under them. 

"Come on Shepard!" Tali yelled, "Hurry!" 

She took one last shot at the incoming Collectors before she turned and ran up the quickly crumbling hill of rubble, throwing herself off the edge with a sharp gasp as Harbinger's voice filled her head. 

~ "You have changed nothing. Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater. We are your salvation through destruction." ~ he snarled. ~ "The Collectors have failed, but we will find another way." ~ 

"Not if I find a way to kill you all first." Shepard hissed, feeling Garrus and Samara help her up into the air lock. 

"Sister!" Jane called. 

"Hang on to the harness baby!" Shepard yelled. 

"Everyone hold on!" Joker warned as his fingers flew across the keys. 

Shepard held her breath, feeling Harbinger leave her mind as she clung to Garrus, feeling the Normandy rock and shake around her violently as she ripped through the debris ahead of the explosions until at last, the familiar pull of the Omega 4 Relay embraced them and they were thrown into high speed. 

~~~@~~~ 

"There!" Feron said as the radar flared to life, showing the Normandy's return. 

"She did it." Liara smiled in relief. 

"Signal's already going in, look like the Illusive Man is pissed with her." Feron said. 

"Patch it in so the Council sees this." Liara said. "Open the channel to every High Ranks Leader and politician throughout the races." 

"Aye-aye Ma'am." He smiled. 

~~~@~~~ 

Anderson, Udina, Sparatus, Tevos, Verlan and Pallin paused their conversation as the holo images of Shepard and the Illusive Man appeared before them. 

~ "Shepard, you have made a habit of costing me more than time and money." ~ 

~ "Cry me a fucking river." ~ Shepard snarled at him, ~ "Millions of lives were lost in that Base, and I am not going to stand and let you lecture me on how valuable the place was." ~ 

~ "The lives were now lost in vain, that technology could have secured Human dominance though out the galaxy against the Reapers and beyond." ~ 

~ "And you think you can order me to give you that?" ~ Shepard asked. ~ "I may have been brought back on your dime, but you will never control the fate of anyone using me as a pawn. I knew you only cared about the humans, that's why you didn't give me an all Human crew, you wanted me to take the people who were a threat to you and get them killed." ~ 

~ "Vakarian is no threat to me." ~ 

~ "His father is." ~ Shepard remarked, ~ "Friends with the Primach himself, one word from him and the Turian Hierarchy will wipe Cerberus from the face of every Turian world they go near. And Samara could kill you easily all she'd have to do is find you, and given how cowardly Cerberus is, I doubt that would take her long, Thane is a master assassin, he'd need maybe a week to find you. And Jack, Zaeed, and Grunt? They need only to make enough noise and Cerberus will go down faster than a bust balloon and that's if I don't share everything Cerberus related I have here and now with the Alliance and the Council just to prove you have no hold on me." ~ 

~ "You wouldn't dare!" ~ 

~ "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or did you think I didn't know you sent Fang to Liara knowing Jane would offer to bring him to me?" ~ 

"She's enjoying this." Pallin said. 

"You noticed." Anderson smiled. 

~ "Humanity doesn't need a selfish old man like you leading them when Harbinger comes, they need someone who can look at a Crew and not care what race they come from." ~ Shepard said, ~ "I'm doing this my way, and no one is telling me otherwise." ~ 

~ "Don't turn your back on Shepard! I made you I brought you back from the dead!" ~ 

~ "A wolf doesn't turn around when a little dog barks at her. Joker, delete this channel." ~ Shepard remarked leaving the feed. 

~ "Shepard!!" ~ the Illusive Man snarled at the channel cut off.


	7. Chapter 7  The Home of Warmth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promised you the Garrus/Fem Shepard. Now I deliver it.
> 
> Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 7   
The Home of Warmth. 

It took a long time for Jane to feel safe enough to fall asleep, but with a little help from Doctor Chakwas, Nihlus sat at the foot of her bed and Samara at her side, she eventually fell into a slumber, waiting for them to reach Earth so they could return to the Kirana Villa and return Jane to the safety of her family for long term healing after the horrors she had seen. 

Thane assisted Grunt and Jack with clearing the lower decks, Kasumi, Miranda and Jacob were laid in medical bay, waiting for their broken limbs to be healed while Chakwas checked Joker's legs and chest again. 

No one had paid any mind when they'd disappeared. 

Somehow the Loft had survived undamaged, though everything had been thrown around the place and her fish looked beyond stressed with the sudden lack of water around them, but the tank was filling against slowly and food was drifting around for them. 

The door locked automatically, leaving them free to enjoy themselves in privacy. 

She didn't resist when he grabbed her, the armour from his arms and chest already falling off as he practically crushed her between himself at the wall, not that she could have even if she wanted too, she was too busy trying to shed her own armour without breaking from the kiss he's caught her in. 

She'd forgotten about the steps, but the fall was softened by the mattress of the bed beneath her back as he fell over her, using the fall to open the fastenings on her lower armour plating and undo the seal on her under suit as they rolled and wiggled, pulling and pushing fabric and metal off to find the skin and hide underneath. 

His talons found her back and tore open the vest as she dragged her nails down his neck, moaning as he rocked his hips against her, the plating that covered his rapidly growing cock parting against the dampness of her pants hearing him growl as she found a sensitive area right at the base of his neck. 

"Marie..." He growled deeply, talons tight against her skin. "I, I can't hold back." He panted, his eyes dark with lust and desire. "I want... I need to mark you... To claim you... I need to have you..." He said, hardly able to keep from ripping the last of her clothes off and pounding her into the mattress then and there. 

"Do it," She nodded, laying herself back and relaxed beneath him, willing and submissive. "I don't want anyone else, Garrus." She assured smiling. 

It was all he needed to hear, Shepard moaned and arched up into him as his talons mapped her body slowly teasing and petting every inch of her for those delicate areas that could drive her wild, leaving shallow cuts to her back, shoulders, sides and thighs, ripping the remains of her pants and bra off as she managed to kick the last of his under suit off. 

He pushed inside her without warning and stars exploded behind her eyes as he kept pushing inside, holding her steady beneath him as her body tightened and clenched around him, stretching to accommodate the still growling thickness, filling the room with short breathed gasps and a deep, primal growl as at last Garrus was buried inside her. 

He remained still, pressing his forehead against hers as he held her against him, fighting the urge to just pound her like a wild animal as she tried to move herself on his length, making it harder to focus on not hurting her. She was tight, warm and spirits it was all he could do not to bite her. 

"Ah... Ga-Garrus..." She pleaded, trembling fingers finding his neck again. "Please..." 

That did it. The need and desire overcame him and he moved, drawing back from within her and then slamming back inside, growling deep in his chest as her body stretched and squeezed around him, milking him as she clung to him, moving to match his pace as she hung on to him for some support, unable to form words or even thoughts as stars danced behind her eyes. 

It would be over all too soon for them both, but damn it, it was all they could do to before duty and life tore them apart again. They had waited for too long to pass up the chance any longer, and while he knew she would never admit to being afraid, he'd seen the dread in her eyes when she'd realized that they couldn't just run off to fight the Reapers when they returned Jane home safely. She would be arrested and forced to stay on Earth to face the Alliance for the Bahak System massacre and he wouldn't be able to stay with her, he had to go and try to make Palaven Command see the truth of the Reapers. 

"Marie..." He growled feeling the building heat inside become painful, pressing his face into her shoulder. She understood and exposed her neck for him, trembling and shaking under him as he moved frantically inside her. 

"Garrus...!" She cried as he bit in to her neck, deep enough to leave a bruise and leave a clear bite mark as he pushed deeper into her, holding her down as heat rushed between them, stealing the last of his strength and together the lay panting and trembling in the afterglow, neither able to see straight for a while. 

Reluctantly he pulled out of her, leaving her feeling empty and whining softly until he pulled her against him again and lightly began to clean the blood from her neck, a deep purr-like growl in his chest. 

"Chakwas is gonna have a baby when she sees that bite." She said after a while and Garrus chuckled. 

"I think she's had just about enough children what with all of us running around under her feet." he said. 

She smiled, "Garrus, if things go bad on Earth-" 

"I'm not leaving you to rot in a cell because you did what no one else could to stop the Reapers arrival." Garrus said, "I'll rip the bars off the cell myself if I have too." 

She chuckled and shook her head. "Wasn't want I was going to say but now I know I will be dreaming of that day." She said resting her forehead against his, "I was going to ask you to tell the Turian Hierarchy I'm gonna miss the Challenge next year unless they pull some really powerful strings." 

Garrus smiled. "I could ask a few friends to help me stage a kidnapping for you." he offered tugging the blankets around them, "I'm sure Victus would help with that." 

"Only if you're the one dragging me off to a dark room." She said holding onto him tightly. "I'll miss you Garrus." 

"We'll figure it out Marie." He promised, "They can't stop you talking to your lover when he knows a few ways around a comm jammer and has a very nice friend with a lot of information to barter with." 

"I give it a week and Liara puts us on timed calls." She laughed. 

"Before or after we prove an Asari can blush bright pink?" 

~~~@~~~ 

Zaeed left the ship first, taking the shuttle down to pick up some other Bounty, he left without a good bye, but Shepard didn't expect one. Grunt was next to leave with Jack, each heading for their own respective paths, though Grunt would never admit he felt sad about the parting form his Battle Master. 

Kasumi made sure that the image of Grunt getting a hug from Shepard stayed in her privet collection, along with all her other privet snaps of the Commander with her crew mates. 

Legion requested permission to be dropped off on a small back water planet and bid them all good bye and good luck as he went. When they came to the Citadel Kasumi, Jacob, Miranda, Thane and many other crew mates left the Normandy for treatment for the trauma they had seen and suffered, while Nihlus waited for Garrus at the shuttles Shepard released Samara from her bound to help her. 

Tali cried when she said good bye to Shepard again, promising to keep in touch this time as she left the Normandy. 

Now, the Normandy felt empty, hallow and cold, even with Chakwas, Joker and Jane with her she felt lost in the empty space. 

And then they came up on Earth. 

She sighed and opened an old dust covered box in the wardrobe and pulled out the neatly folded Alliance Commander blue uniform, stars on the shoulders, stripes on the left breast pocket and the Alliance brand sowed into the cloth. 

Totally unflattering, ugly shade of blue and it was padded in places that really didn't need padding. But, it was better than Cerberus's black and whites. 

They landed in the dry docks and caught a sky cab to the Kirana family house, and already Shepard could see the sea of cameras and news reporters waiting to snap pictures held back at the gates by several heavily armed security officers. 

Shepard nodded, "Ready Jane?" She asked. 

"I am." Jane said though she clutched Shepard's hand in a tight grip and her eyes were wide with fear. 

"Just walk beside me and keep your eyes down on the ground, I will guild you." She assured taking her coat off and gently placed it over Jane. "Ok?" 

Jane nodded, holding tightly to Shepard's hand as the Commander stood and with seeming ease, stepped off the shuttle and into the waiting wall of security officers and their guard dogs as they walked from the shuttle towards the door of the Kirana Villa. She didn't let go of Jane until the doors were closed behind them and they were safely in the main room of the huge Villa, face to face with the whole Kirana Family. Instantly, a gray-haired woman fell to her knees and grabbed Jane in a tight hug and Shepard found the shiny tiled floor very interesting. 

Facing Amber after Jade's death had been hard. But facing the entire Kirana family, the most powerful Biotic and political family on Earth after losing their daughter in law and almost losing the youngest daughter. This wasn't how she'd hoped to at last meet the people who had adopted her at Jade and Amber's request so long ago. 

A frail hand lightly cupped her face and for a moment Shepard thought she saw Jade in the woman before her, the same green eyes, same gentle smile, even the same faint mark on the right side of her neck, a birth mark that Jade joked as proof she'd been a Turian in another life. 

"Welcome home, Marie." the old woman greeted and lightly pressed a kiss to her cheek before holding her in a gentle hug. There was a second, warm embrace from behind and Shepard knew even if she did look back she wouldn't see the owner of that warmth but she knew who it was. 

The Alliance didn't call or demand her attention that day, and instead, the hours were spent explaining what had happened to Jane and Amber, and how best to help Jane cope with what came next, how to calm her after the nightmares woke her up screaming. 

That night, Jane lay in the comfort of her own bed, clutching a stuffed toy tightly and at her side, Shepard lay dozing. Every small sound and she would look up, one hand on Fang until the noise went again, all the while one hand rested on Jane's back. 

It was late in the morning when Admiral Hackett came to the door alone and Shepard bid good bye to the Kirana family, following Hackett out of the grounds and into the waiting shuttle, a small comfort in her chest as she heard the faint howls from the crowds. 

She sat silently throughout the ride to the Alliance building. Ignoring the puzzled glances from the two guards that had been assigned to bring her in with Hackett, following them into the court and stood under the gazes of the Alliance and Sols Board, and the added gaze of the Citadel Council. 

By the end of the day, she had given them everything, recorded files of what happened in the Bahak system, the message request on both ends between Hackett and herself, the talk with her crew about going in alone, the recorded files of what happened when getting Doctor Kenson out of prison, Object Rho and all that had happened until the Mass relay was destroyed. She showed them the data logs from the Normandy of her crew trying to evacuate the system's inhabitance, trying to warn the Batarians what was coming and how the Batarians had failed to heed the warnings and act. 

She ignored the Batarian Ambassadors attempts to bait her, but she did make it clear that if she could show them what she had seen in her visions, she would gladly share them just to see how quickly a Batarian could vomit. 

She stood silently as her Superiors spoke amongst themselves, still and unresponsive even as someone in the public crowd called out that she was a Hero. 

Eventually, it was agreed that despite the deaths. She would not be handed to the Batarians for punishment. She would be grounded, stripped of the right to fly and placed under house arrest. She was still Commander, but only to those who dared defy the Alliance Board, she was still Shepard to everyone who had seen her deeds, still the hero of the Galaxy to those who now believed the Reapers were coming. 

But to James Vaga, she was Lola. 

Being stuck with a new shadow was only slightly annoying, since this shadow never asked for anything but her name and a handshake she sometimes forgot he was there and bumped into him for the first two weeks. 

He was nice enough, if a little ridged at first but Jane liked him and Vaga wasn't above getting down on his hands and knees to help look for a lost ball in the mud and dirt or make a late-night run to the store to get ice cream and chocolate for them when Jane stayed the night with Shepard, or sitting up out the foot of the bed with his weapon those nights when the Nightmares left the child screaming endlessly into the night. 

Anderson retired from the Council, the job had become too much after the loss of the Commander and despite the best efforts he made to keep good ties with her, Shepard refused to hear a word he had to say, or spend more than ten seconds in the same room as him. 

Udina made the mistake of challenging the allowance of visits to Shepard once after he saw Jane and her elderly father at the apartment Shepard had been given to live in after they took away the Normandy. 

Not even Hackett complained when Shepard kicked the new Councillor, nor did any one stop Jane from her weekly visits to see her sister. 

~~~@~~~ 

Today, Shepard was visiting old friends of her own, watching a pair of swans on the lake leading their young in a graceful swim behind the Everfree Memorial in Swan Garden while Jane knelt by the new head stone, lightly placing a bundle of flowers there. 

James Vaga didn't dare set foot in this place, he knew it meant too much to her to interrupt what she was doing. So instead he stood quietly and respectfully, his head slightly bowed as he waited for her at the car. 

"It doesn't feel right Marie." Jane said. "She isn't here any more but I am. It feels wrong." 

"It never feels right Jane, no matter what they tell you it never gets easier waking up and knowing the people you love are gone." She told her, lightly brushing the stray grass blades aside to show the name on one of the older head stones. 

"Do you still have nightmares?" Jane asked, looking at the head stone beside Amber's "About what happened?" 

She nodded. "I will never forget that you sister gave her life for me, even when she knew she didn't have to." she explained, "But eventually the nightmares fade and I remember better times with her and the crew, times when we weren't scared or fighting to stay alive and those memories become so powerful, so engrained in my mind that sometimes I forget they're gone and for a while, it's like I'm back on the Everfree, listening to them talk or just watching the stars go by." 

"What happens then?" Jane asked. 

"Then something catches my attention and I forget what I was thinking about, or sometimes, when I'm alone, I feel someone put a hand on my shoulder and I know that somewhere they're waiting for me." She explained lightly tracing a finger over the elegant name in the head stone. 

"Like a ghost?" 

"More a Guardian angel," Shepard said slowly standing up and brought her hand up to her forehead. "Or a very protective sister." 

Jane smiled and nodded, mimicking Shepard's salute to the head stones before following her away from the Memorial site. "What will you do when they come here?" she asked. 

"I'll do what I always do." Shepard said, "I'll fight them, and somehow, I will kill them." 

"What if you die?" Jane asked. 

"If I die," Shepard sighed looking up. "Then someone else will have to be very brave and take up the fight in my stead." 

"No one but you could do this," Jane said, leaning against Shepard for comfort as they left the memorial. 

Shepard sighed softly and looked to the sky, feeling her eyes drawn to something unseen, something far, far away from the milky way Galaxy. 

~~~@~~~ 

They left Dark Space for the first time in millennia and drifted towards the Milky Way, each one as large and as powerful as the last and each one as merciless as those before them. Harbinger lead the way, his glowing yellow eyes fixed on the small speck that was Earth. 

They would be denied no longer. 

Every Organic would die this Cycle, every Asari, Turian, Drell, Humans, Batarian, Quarian and Krogan would suffer. But none would suffer more than Shepard. 

He would see to that personally.


End file.
